The Wilder Thing


pairing: Spike/Willow
sequel to The Wild Thing
rating: Adults Only
warning: desecration of Disneyland's Pirates of the Caribbean ride
crossover with The Dresden Files
summary: Spike and Willow go to Chicago to visit Bob but Harry thinks Spike is a vamp sent by Bianca

author's note: again, Spike has no chip but is helping the Scoobies for reasons of his own


Chapter 1

Willow's POV

"Red! Stop pushing!"

"Do you know what you're doing?"

"It's been a while, okay? Just give me a minute."

"We don't have a minute. We don't know what time he gets off work."

"I'm almost…"



"You're almost there?"


"Oh. You're there."

"I'll be around the corner in the car. Hurry up."

"You're not coming with?"


"Oh yeah. Sorry."

"Just be quick about it."

Okay, okay, don't get testy. Hm, where to look, where to look?

Is this the right apartment? Fireplace? Check. Lots of rugs? Check.

Geez, this guy likes rugs. What is there, four, five rugs on this floor? There's even rugs on the walls. Oh, wait. Tapestries, not rugs. This guy ever hear of wallpaper? What's that smell? Wood? Charcoal? This guy must use that fireplace all the time. It's May, for cripes sake.

He really needs to clean this place up. I mean, look at that bookshelf. Giles would have a conniption.

"Hey, kitty, kitty. Big kitty. You must be Mister. Are you sure you're a house cat?"

Oof. Not a lap cat.

"Sorry, Mister, you gotta get up, I'm on a mission."

Where did he say it was again? There it is. Brown oriental rug. Who buys a brown oriental rug? Ugh.

Geez, this thing is heavy. I so wish Spike could come into houses without an invite. Where's a vengeance demon to grant you a wish when you really want one? Trapdoor. Check. Also heavy. Ooof.

Dark. Very dark. What the heck?


That's better. Comic books? Must be thousands of them. Grow up a little. Or put them in plastic with acid-free boards.

Antlers? Cages? What is all this stuff? Oooooh, velurbane! That's really rare.

I should buy stock in Tupperware. And what's with the shoe boxes? Imelda Marcos didn't have this many shoes. "Bob?"

Where would I hide if I were a skull? He said 'on a shelf', but that's all there is down here is shelves. Which shelf?



"Bob! We've come to rescue you. What are you doing with headphones?"

"I'm listening to a CD. Harry hates this group, won't let me listen to them out loud. How did you get past Harry's wards?"

"Didn't use magick. Spike picked the lock."

"I knew that vampire would prove useful."

"Come on, Bob, we have to get you out of here before Harry comes home."

"I can't leave. I'm stuck in the skull. Only Harry can release me."

"Problem solved. I'll bring your skull. We'll figure out to get you out of it later."

"Grab the CD."

"Bob! Long time, no see. How they hangin'?"

"Very funny, Vampire. The slayer didn't stake you, I see. Pity."

"It was kinda touch and go there for a minute though. But they took it pretty well."

"All except the whelp."

"The whelp?"

"He means Xander. Xander didn't take it too well. He threatened Spike."

"You let a human threaten you? I'm ashamed to know you, Vampire."

"What was I suppose to do? Drain Red's oldest friend? Beside, the slayer was right there and she would have staked my ass if I had tried." "Spike!"

"Hey, I didn't do it, did I, Red? Can't blame me for thinkin' about it. Bloody wanker should consider himself lucky."

"I know. He wasn't very nice. But you can't really blame him."

"Where we headed, Witch?"


"You let him call me 'Vampire'."

"Fine. Um, I don't know. Maybe a diner? Until we figure out how to get Bob out of his skull anyway."

"A diner it is. I haven't been in Chicago since 1944, hope I can remember where one is."

"So what have you two been up to? I haven't seen you in over a month. Having fun?"

"We went to Disneyland!"

"The vampire took you to Disneyland? I didn't think he'd lower himself."

"It was fun. We went on Pirates of the Caribbean."

"What's Pirates of the Caribbean?"

"It's a ride. See, there's a boat -"

"Tell him what really happened, Love. No? Okay, I'll tell him. We got thrown off of Pirates of the Caribbean."


"You got thrown off? How?"

"Well, Spike got a little frisky -"

"Hey, it was bloody romantic. Couldn't help myself. You weren't exactly fightin' me off, Red."

"Come on, Willow. Tell me what happened. I'm a sucker for romance novels, too."

"Oh! All right. See, it was like this -"


Cut to:

Disneyland -the line for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, night

Spike and Willow are waiting in line and Spike is pointing out the lovely attractions of Frontierland to Willow. Every time he points at a new site, she turns and looks and Spike flashes gold eyes at the person in front of them in line. People flee in terror making the line move very swiftly. In no time at all, Spike and Willow are at the front of the line. "Hey that was quick."

"You know, these big corporations - they have lots of practice movin' people along. Pull 'em in, push 'em out, like that."

The couple get in the queue for the next ride and the attendant starts to file people into rows to fill the rest of the seats for the small boat. Spike has a quick word with the attendant and the others are told to wait for the next boat.

As soon as the boat gets out of viewing range of the others, Spike pulls Willow into a flirtatious kiss, but Willow, after a minute or two - pushes him away. "I've never been here, I want to see this," she pouts.

"You've lived in California your whole bleedin' life and you've never been to Disneyland?" he asks incredulously.

"No, I haven't," she says defensively. "I just - and my parents - but once, then we couldn't - and Xander's parents, well they'd never -"

He put a hand up to stop her from going on like this forever, he understood and vowed to kill her parents the first chance he could. He'd have to convince her to let him, of course, but he'd convince her eventually. They deserved to die - slowly. He might even kill the whelp's parents while he was at it; even a moron deserved better than that.

He put his arm around her and sat back to enjoy the ride; well, as much as a demon who loved blood and gore could enjoy a ride at Disneyland.

The song was driving him crazy, but he liked the cannon fire and the pirates auctioning off the women. Hey, this Disney guy must have been part demon himself to have created a ride with this much chaos and lust.

The best part, for him, was the sparkle in Willow's eyes. She was like a - well, like a kid at Disneyland. He smiled. With Dru it was always wanting bigger, better, more sparkly, more anything.

Willow was just the opposite. The simplest things made her happy. She preferred daisies to roses, Hershey's over Godiva, silver over diamonds, jeans to fancy dresses. She'd rather snuggle than go out to a fancy restaurant. She wanted Disneyland, not Paris. He couldn't believe how much he loved her in so short a time. She was so much like what he had been as a human. Smart, shy, passionate, doing everything with your whole being, never going half way. When he was turned, he loathed everything he had been before. He vowed to live by his own rules, society be damned. But now…

Seeing Willow, he saw himself. What he had been. It wasn't so bad. It hadn't worked for him, of course, but on her - it looked good, it worked. He knew then that when he turned her, when she was ready, she'd make a stunning vampire. Just as he had retained a good amount of William, he knew she'd keep most of what made her his Red.

Willow was clapping delightedly and when the boat stopped, Spike told the attendant, "We want another go, mate," before flashing him very quickly with amber eyes and a lumpy brow.

"Ye - yes, sir," was the response and he pushed a button, allowing them to continue around once again. This time, when they reached the island with all the pirates, Spike took Willow's hands and pulled her out of the boat. "I want to see how this thing works," he said. The water was only a few inches deep so she followed him, eyes searching for video cameras.

She didn't see any, but she knew they had to be there, so she muttered a few words under her breath and all of the cameras in the park suddenly went on the fritz.

They looked over all of the animatronic figures until Willow took off up the stairs and hid. "Come and get me," she called over her shoulder.

He didn't have any trouble finding her but he pretended that he did. "Here kitty, kitty." He wandered around for a couple of minutes, letting her scent lead him to her. Bob had given her perfume when they took their trip and when mixed with Red's natural fragrance, it was a heady mix. He'd bought her more at a mall in Pasadena. Along with the soap, lotion and powder that went with it.

Sometimes, he liked to take the lotion and - he ran out of patience. "Where's my pretty pussy?" he said quietly, turning a corner and lifting her into his arms.

He found a likely spot, nice red lights for ambiance, and lay her down. His sexy half smile and the brilliance of his eyes let her know right away what his intentions were. She was a little apprehensive. This is Disneyland, after all. You just couldn't do things like that in Disneyland, it had to be against the law or the Bible or the Koran or something. She just knew there were going to be serious repercussions if she had sex in Disneyland.

Then he peeled off his shirt. As he started to unbuckle his belt, it occurred to her that they probably wouldn't get caught anyway. She had magicked all the cameras, after all. He pulled off his boots.

The goddess probably had other things on her mind right now. She'd be too busy to watch a tiny little thing happening in a theme park in California. Okay, a really big thing happening, she amended with a smile as his jeans hit the floor.

She kicked off her sneakers and reached for the hem of her shirt. "Uh-uh" Spike said with a slight shake of his head. He knelt before her. "I wanna."

He reached behind her shoulders and pulled her into a sitting position. The motion did things to his biceps that made her mouth water. His head and shoulders curled down until he had access to her neck. She was expecting a bite but when his mouth closed over the sensitive spot on the back of her neck, his lips and tongue sucked and caressed her in ways that made electric current shoot down her body right to her center and she felt luscious, warm wetness spread out between her thighs.

He knew right away of course, he always knew. Damn vampire, he was laughing at her. As long as he didn't stop what he was doing, she'd forgive him. His salacious assault on her sensitive neck continued, his tongue making slow circles. She reached out to feel his skin under her hands, but he stopped her. "You just relax, let me do all the -," and he paused, remembering their argument in Big Sur. "Work," he finished with a smile and a hand stroked through her hair.

His mouth went back to nuzzling her neck while his hands started to unbutton her shirt. While he unbuttoned her, he touched her. Just one finger lingering on her skin inside the button placket. With every button he unfastened, the tip of his index finger ran lower and lower. When he reached her bra, he stopped, passed over the next two buttons and started again just under it.

Willow groaned her impatience and she felt him laughing against her neck again. "Patience, Love," he whispered. "I'll do you hard," he said so low she barely heard him. "I'll do you fast," he said with a sensual breath in her ear. "I'll do you upside down and backwards," he whispered and bit into her neck with blunt teeth. "But right now? Right now you're this boy's dream. Every fantasy come to life. And I plan to savour you," he said as he unhooked her bra. His cool hands ran from her back to her stomach and up to the heated, flushed skin of her breasts.

Her breathing was erratic as his wonderful tongue went back to tasting her neck, this time on the other side.

Her bra had removable straps and he unclasped them and pulled the white cotton off from under her shirt. His mouth moved lower, to the hollow of her throat and she almost came when his tongue slid out to lap at the sweat collecting there.

Lips and tongue tasted every inch of her that was exposed by the opened shirt. She knew better than to plead for him to suckle her, he had amazing patience when it came to her. His mouth tasted her salty skin while his hands kneaded the soft flesh of her breasts. So quickly she didn't even realize it, he had her jeans undone and was pulling them down over her hips.

She needed to touch him and with a tentative hand she ran her fingers down his back. She felt his muscles tighten and she knew that she affected him as much as he affected her. She loved to spend hours just touching him. She didn't know how someone could be so hard and so soft at the same time. Especially his back; there's so much strength there, he made her feel safe and small and protected. These feelings are as arousing to her as his beauty is. Her warm fingers brushed over his cool skin. Down his back and across his hip. Down the back of his leg and up the front of it. She heard his sharp intake of breath when she took him into her hand and squeezed gently.

She heard the last two buttons of her shirt pop off and roll away on the hard floor. His wet mouth engulfed her nipple, worrying it with his tongue. His hand pinched its mate and pulled, sending shockwaves through her system.

She pulled her hand away from him and up to her mouth. She licked her palm until it was completely covered in her saliva then returned it to his erection, this time running her now slick hand up and down his shaft. He moaned and pulled himself up onto his knees, closing his eyes and losing himself in her endeavors. She couldn't help but stare. He was male beauty personified. She was sure there had to be a dictionary somewhere that had his picture next to the definition of the word 'perfection'. His eyes opened and traveled over her nude form and she hoped that he felt something like that for her, but she knew that was impossible. Spike was the kind of man that women had dreams about. The kind of dreams that you wish you'd never wake up from. The kind that make you blush and stutter and twitch in your seat for the whole rest of the day. "My turn," he said and lowered his body, angling himself so that his mouth could pepper her stomach with butterfly kisses. As he slowly worked his way down her body, he seduced her with words, "The Powers must have worked overtime on you, Love. Everything about you is perfection. Your skin, your stomach, your legs, your -" he grinned at her, "My lovely little quim." His tongue lapped at her then and he blew cool breath on her that made her shiver - and not from the cold. "You are everything every man dreams of," he said, "And it amazes me sometimes that you picked me."

His mouth, tongue and teeth did everything in their power to show her how much he appreciated her choice.

She was growing impatient, she needed him, needed to have him. "Spike, please, my mouth is lonely. It wants you, Baby. It wants you bad." Her hands reached down to maneuver him, pulling him onto his knees and turning him so that she could take his flawless cock into her mouth. His mouth never lost its hold on her warm folds. As she sucked and licked, so did he.

When her mouth took all of him that she could manage into her mouth, he did likewise, engulfing her mound. Her tongue ran around the head in circles and his did the same to her swollen clit. Her languid licks running the length of his cock were reproduced with equal care down her slit.

She delved the tip of her tongue into the opening at the tip of his cock when his tongue delved deep into her aching cunt.

Her fingernails raked deep into his back as she came in his mouth. He sucked every bit of her down, loving the taste of her. He moved off her then, sitting and leaning against the wall. He pulled her onto his lap, facing him, and lowered her onto his now throbbing erection. Using her knees as leverage she raised and lowered herself on him. She started to close her eyes, but he gave her a terse, "No" and laid his arms on her shoulders, linking his hands behind her head.

This position held her head in place, not allowing her to look anywhere except straight into ice blue eyes. Eyes that were smoldering; burning with desire and need for her. They both felt a compulsion to lock eyes when they made love. All of this was too new, too passionate, too fast, too intense for them to really understand or believe it. They wanted to, they were desperate to, but that would take time and until then, they made love with eyes wide open, seeking in each other's eyes the yearning that they felt within themselves.

Willow rocked on her knees, relishing the feel of him within her, the feel of her surrounding him. He was close, she could see it in his eyes and the set of his jaw. The ability to cause this sinfully delicious man to have that look took her over the edge and her muscles clamped around him in her second orgasm. His hands held her hips, allowing him to push himself up deeper inside of her. He crushed her body to his as he climaxed and growled as she milked his seed from him.

Sweat was running down her body, she was leaning into him and panting to regain her breath. A sound made her turn.

"I didn't think you folks were ever gonna finish," came a man's voice. She saw the light from a flashlight and then the uniform of a security guard. "What?" she asked the light.

"Well, I didn't want to interrupt you. When your boat came back empty a couple of us set out looking for you. I'm the one that got lucky and found you," he chuckled.

Willow was on hands and knees and scrambling to find her clothes and get herself covered. Spike stood and put on his jeans, but held the rest of his things in his hands. As he motioned for Willow to precede him out the back door, he winked at the guard and said, "Thanks, mate," before sauntering out after Willow.


Chapter 2

Willow's POV

"Vampire! I'm impressed. I didn't give you nearly enough credit. I wouldn't have thought you'd be able to pull off something like that on your own."

"Hey, I'll have you know that I was fairly intelligent as a -"

Bob smirked, as much as a skull can smirk anyway.

"As a what?"


"Willow, whatever it is your trying to tell me in sign language isn't working, just say it."

"Um, nothing."


"Spike, I didn't say it, all right? But I don't understand why you don't want anyone to know what you were like as a human."

"Vampire, you were an intelligent human? I never would have guessed. I have read your poetry after all, and it was just, well - awful. Any improvement there by the way? I did try to help you with it. I mean really, if my Willow doesn't inspire you, you're hopeless."

"Thanks, Red. Thanks a lot. Why don't you just tell everybody? I'm not a bloody human anymore, remember? I'm a demon, through and through, and if that's a problem for you then let's just-"

Let's just what? All demon, huh? I know a part that's not demon…

"Red, that's cheating!"

"I'm looking for a demon. You said you were 'a demon, through and through'. Well, I've been down here and I didn't notice one before, I'm trying to find him."

"Oh, Red, you gotta stop - I can't drive if you do that. There's traffic here!"

"Admit you're a man."


"Admit you're a man. Tell me that part of William is still in there and I'll stop."

"I don't really want you to stop."

"You want to hit another car? You have no insurance."


"If you hurt somebody, I'll cry."

"Pet, I can't think with ya doin' that!"

"Tell Bob and I that William's still in there."



"Hey! Why'd you stop?"

"I'm not going to play with the you know of a monster. If that's all there is, I'm just going to sit over here by myself and catch the first bus home."


"No. If there's no William in there, if all you are is a mean and nasty demon; no hope for anything more, than you've been lying to me all this time and I want to go home to my friends."

Aahh! Why can't I cry on cue? Just one little tear, that's all I'm asking for, just to rub a little salt in the wound! Aw, come on - think of something sad.

"Red, you know what I meant! Didn't ya?"

"No. What did your horrible demon self mean?"




"Shut your fool mouth and drive before you say something I know you're going to regret."

"I don't regret anything - ever, you airy little fairy. Demons don't-"

"Yeah, yeah, Vampire, we've heard it all before. Where are we going, by the way?"

"Place I remember from when Dru and I were here; I hope it's still there. It was sort of a hangout for demons and humans into the arcane."

"Not Macanally's?"

"Yeah, you know it? Is it still there?"

"It's still there. Harry goes there all the time."

"Oh goodie! No, Spike, don't turn around, this is perfect. We can talk to Harry at this place and convince him to let us have Bob for a little while."

"Such an optimist. Don't ever change, my Willow, you're perfect just the way you are."

"Thank you, I think. I'm not entirely sure that was a compliment."

"It wasn't, Red."

"It was too, Vampire. Just keep your demon opinions to yourself, I am perfectly capable of conversing with my Willow on my own."

"And why do you keep calling her, "My Willow"? She's mine, and only mine, got it?"

"She doesn't seem to like you at the moment. I know about your relationship, vampire, but I did see her first."

"Did not, I've known her since she was in high school."

"That's true, Bob. When I was a junior, he and his minions broke through the window on Parent-Teacher Night and tried to kill us all, so I had to hide in the janitor's closet with Cordelia all night."

"You call that 'knowing her'?"

"Hey, I saw her before that. Dancing at the Bronze with the slayer and the moron. Noticed her right away, too. She was beautiful, even then. I just was too preoccupied with wanting to kill Slutty to be able to do anything about it."

He's liked me since he first got to Sunnydale? That can't be right. He was in love with Drusilla.


"What did you call me, Red?"

"I said you are a liar. What about Drusilla?"

"Who's Drusilla?"

"Oh, sorry, Bob. She's Spike's ex. Spike - what about Drusilla?"


"You said you noticed me at the Bronze. You may have seen me with Buffy, but you didn't notice me! You were so crazy about Crazy Dru that you couldn't see straight. Heck, you even tried to get me to do that stupid spell so you could get her back. I swear, Bob, he was pathetic. Drunk, slurring, couldn't stand up straight. Plus - he tried to shove a bottle through my face. He's a homicidal lunatic. He's a drunk and a liar and a lunatic. I want to go home."

Oh, goddess, what have I gotten myself into? How could I have forgotten this is Spike? I'm so gonna die. Or kill myself.

"Bob, you started this. Now she's upset. Think of something!"

"I didn't start it, vampire. You and your 'demon, through and through' started it. Apologize!"

"You know what else, Bob? She's not only his ex, she's his sister; Angelus turned both of them - although why Spike doesn't want anybody to know that is beyond me."

"I'm a vampire, Red! Sister doesn't mean the same thing as for humans - not exactly. And you know why I don't want anybody to know that the bloody poof turned me - he's a bloody poof!"

"Oh, please, spare me. I realize that William the Bloody is fairly famous as vampires go but -"

"William the Bloody?!"

What's so funny about that?

"Yeah, mate, you got a problem with that?"

"You? You're William the Bloody? The Scourge of Europe, the infamous vampire who took over Chicago in the - when did you say you were here last?"


"Hells' bells - you are William the Bloody. What happened?"

"Whadaya mean, what happened?"

Oh great, now Spike's really mad. I'm just gonna sit here and pretend I'm somewhere else. I don't want to get in the middle of this one.

"What happened, William? Why aren't you out scourging or destroying cities and small countries like you used to? Didn't you kill a couple of slayers in your time? Why is Willow's slayer still alive? Lost your touch, have you?"

"Nothing happened! Buffy's still alive because first all, Willow loves the bitch for some strange reason and second of all, she hasn't got a death wish. She's got family and friends, if that don't beat all. Slayers are supposed to be alone in the world, not have the damn Scooby gang to back them up."

"So you can't beat her; she's better than you, is that it?"

"NO! That's not it! Tried to kill her, almost did a couple of times, but then Angelus came back and took Dru from me and I was more interested in tearing Angelus limb from limb than I was in putting Blondie in the ground."

"Oh, I know this is going to be a good story."

"No story. None of your business."

Oh, please. It's not like he doesn't know us inside and out already.

"I'll tell you later, Bob."

"Red! You will not!"

"Spike, you're being ridiculous. Why can't I tell Bob? You did a good thing. You helped Buffy defeat Angelus after all."

"Vampire! You helped the slayer? You really are housebroken."

"Spike? What did you mean when you said you won't kill Buffy because I love her? That sounded an awful lot like caring to me. You know caring that thing demons don't do?"

Hah! Gotcha!

"Just you, luv, you know that. I care about you. I go where you go. You're my home, remember?"

Aw, demons in love are so cute!

"Red, what are you doing?"

"Kissing your neck."


"Because you're being an ass, vampire and she wants you to show her that you love her."

"I never said -"

"That true, Red?"

"Um -"

"Give me a sec', Red."


"Mac's place is right there, so there should be a - yep, here it is."

"Where are we?"

"C'mere, Red."

A dark alley? Why does Spike want to take me into a - Oh. Oh, yeah. That's - oh, right there.


"Next time you want to make up, Red, just tell me. I'm real easy to make up with."


"Oh, hell."


"Yes, Bob."

"I can't see. If I can't participate, at least let me watch."

Spike? Oh, fine, be that way. I'll get him myself.

"There ya go, Bob. Comfy?"

"Yes, my Willow, thank you."


"Yeah, Spike?"

"Get your pretty little arse over here."

How does he do that? Even when he's ordering me around he sounds so - sexy. He could be reading a cereal box and it would convince a girl to sleep with him. And he's mine.

"You want me, baby?"

I love the way he touches me. He's so gentle. Except when he's not.

"Every second."

"Than stay with me. No daydreaming."

"But they're all about you."

"Then tell me. I'll make them all come true."

"You already did."

There's that smile. Drusilla was an idiot. How could she give this up? I'm not complaining. Her loss - my gain.

Oh, goddess. There, right there, keep touching there. Oh wait, there's good too.

"Bring your leg up here, baby. And put that one - yeah, there. Now balance on that. Now I can - oooohhh."

"Spike. Spike please, I need - Please harder, I won't break, I promise. Just -"

"Ooph. That better, baby? That do it for ya? You tell me anything you need, baby and I'll give it to you. You feel so good, Red. I belong in here. So good around me. Home. Red, come on, baby. I'm almost there. Baby, please, I want to you to be there too. Cum for me, baby. Cum for Spike."

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh - "Spike! Oh, Spike. Aaah, Spike, I love you, Spike. I need you, I want you, I love you, I - ooooooooooohhhhhh, yeah!"

Is there any better feeling in the world than having Spike explode inside you? I don't think so.

Chapter 3
Spike's POV

"Hey, mate. You still make your own ale?"

What's his problem? Bloke looks like he's seen a ghost.

"Yeah, Spike. We do."

"I know you?"

"You probably don't remember me, I was just a little kid last time you were in here."

It can't be. That kid was what? Four, maybe five last time I was in McAnally's.

"Well, Francis, you've sure grown up. And out."

"It's just Mac now. And you haven't aged a day. But then, you wouldn't have, now would you?"

Doesn't seem too concerned, I guess this place is still safe for vamps. At least the ale's still the same. Best I've ever had in the colonies.

"Here, Red, have a seat. Try this. Best ale in the colonies."

"Ugh, Spike! It's warm. And strong."

"'Course its warm. Ale's supposed to be room temperature; it was around long before refrigeration, how d'ya think they drank it back then?"

"Never spent much time in the contemplation of the correct serving temperature of stuff that tastes like…. Well, that stuff."

Looks like Fran - I mean Mac, was gettin' a little upset there for a second. Doesn't like anyone insultin' his pride and joy. Guess that proud streak runs in the family. I remember -

"Hey, Mac, your dad or granddad still around?"

Dad's gone, drunk driver in '63. Granddad's still around, though. Nursing home in Joliet. Nice place."

I liked him. Great sense of humor. They got visiting hours after dark at this nursing home?"

No. No visitors after four. He would have really liked to see you though. Is D- - never mind."

It's okay, Mac. This is Red, she knows about Dru. And yes, Dru is still around, I know only because I'd know if she wasn't. No idea where she's at."

"What happened? I thought you two'd be together forever."

Calm down, Red. I'm yours, don't worry. Here, I'll give you a distraction. Try thinking while I got my hand down here…

"She left him for a chaos demon. Or was it a fungus demon? Oh, that's right, it was both, wasn't it, Vampire?"


"What? It's true. My Willow told me."

"What's a My Willow?"

"Red here; her name's Willow."

I still got it. Look at her; couldn't use that brain of hers right now if she had to.



"Leave her alone, she looks like she's stoned."

Spoil sport.

"My Willow, meet Mac. Mac, meet my Willow."

"Nice to meet you. You're name's 'My Willow'?"

"Um, no. No, Bob's just being funny. Just Willow. Willow Rosenberg. Nice to meet you too."

"Mac. Francis McAnally, but don't tell anybody about the Francis part."

Stop flirting with my woman, ya wanker.

"So, Bob. Harry know where you are?"

"I was kidnapped. Or should I say skull-napped?"

"By the vicious and seriously deranged criminal, My Willow?"

"Ok, so I didn't put up much of a struggle. They're friends of mine from Sunnydale."

"What's Sunnydale?"

"Sunnydale, California."

"The Hellmouth? You live on the Hellmouth, Willow? Him, I can understand, he's a vampire. But a pretty little thing like you -"


"Oh, hold your water, Spike. I'm not hitting on her. What can I get you, Willow?"


"Sure thing."

This place hasn't changed at all. Still set up to deflect magicks. Still everything in thirteens. Thirteen stools, thirteen windows, thirteen tables, thirteen mirrors, thirteen columns, ceiling fans are a nice touch, provided you're not over 6 feet tall…

"Spike, look at these columns, aren't they beautiful? The carving is magnificent."

"Yeah, I guess."

You guess? Spike, you have no taste. Mac, what are they?"

"They're folk tales from Scotland and Ireland. My great grand-father carved them."

Look at her, eyes sparkling. She's a miracle, not that I believe in them, but she is. Wisdom and innocence wrapped up in a beautiful package. This is just too perfect. My unlife doesn't ever work out this well. Somethin' bad's comin', I can feel it. I'll just have to look out for it so I can protect her from it, whatever it is.


"Oh My Goddess, BOB!"

"I'm fine, my Willow. I'm right here, it's just my skull."

"Sorry, Bob, forgot you were there."

"No problem, Mac. I'm just going to let you explain to Harry how my skull got broken."

"Don't worry, Bob, I can fix it. Caput reparo. There ya go, Bob. Good as new."

"You're a witch?"

"Yeah. Is - is that all right, Mac? I didn't mean to -"

"Oh, it's fine. You'll fit right in around here."

Hold on…


"Spike, what are you doing?"

"I thought you wanted Bob free?"

"I do, but - oh, oh, Spike - you're a genius!"

I always thought so.

"There ya go, Bob. No more skull condo. You're free until Red caput whatever's your skull back together."

"I hate to break in on the joyful celebration-"

"Yeah, Mac?"

"What's Harry going to say when he finds Bob's skull's gone? He's a powerful wizard, you know. You're going to have to give him an explanation."

"Good point."

"I'll go to his office and tell him, my Willow. Let me handle it."

"NO! What if he, I don't know, what if he puts a binding spell on you or, or conjures you a new skull. Let me go."

"Red, you are not going near this wizardly git. One look at you and he might - well, never mind, you're not goin'. I'll go. Mac, where's this Harry bloke work?"

"Oy! Harry - Harry Dresden, you here, mate?"

"Who are you?"

Geez, he's tall. Not bad lookin' though. Nice cheekbones.

"I'm Sp-"

"What do you want? I don't know anything. Whatever Bianca wants, I don't have it!"

What the hell is this guy's problem? Looks like he's seen a - well, a vampire, yeah, but I'm not grr or anythin', am I? Nope. Okay, get this barmy bloke calmed down so I can get back to Red and Bob.

"Calm down, mate. I'm not here for… Bianca's still around? That old bitch, I've missed her. She still run a whorehouse?"

"Get - get out - don't come near me. Are you another brother of Kyle and Kelly?"

"Who? And what's with the pentacle?"

"Hey! How - how can you touch that? You're a vampire!"

"Good observation, mate. Red's got a jewelry box full of these things. Can't hurt me unless I think they can and I know they can't. Hell, I'd have burns in all kinds of nasty places if they could. But look, that's not why I'm here…"

"I know why you're here, vampire, and I'm not going through that again. Kelly already tried to do a number on me. Sinistra e' destra, destra e' sinistra, quello che sara' non e' piu', quello che era sara' di nuovo."

[translation: Left is right, right is left. What is shall be no more, what was will be again.]


Aaaaaahhhhh. Blood, feel the blood, hear it, smell it. Where am I? Where's my Dark Princess? Or Angelus? Blood. Fear. Ambrosia. Pitiful weak human, barely worth the fight it would take to kill him. Find Drusilla first. Angelus can only stand her for so long and I don't remember how long I've been gone. Find Dru, Angelus and Darla; then we'll hunt.

Part 4
Spike's POV

Where the bloody hell are they? I've been all over this bleedin' berg and not even a tingle. That wanker of a sire of mine prob'ly found hi'self a witch to zap me to the middle of nowhere so that he could have an uninterrupted spot of torture with Dru. She likes it rough, yeah, but what he does to her - I can't think about it - he's her sire, he has the right. He's her sire, he has the right. He's her sire, he has the… anybody else buying this because I still want to rip his fucking arms off.

Nothing to be done about it now. Best get my bearings and feed. Wherever I am, at least they speak English here, well, in a way. I thought maybe Ireland, but no. Even Angelus has better manners than most of these gits.

City - somewhere. Advanced, from the looks of it. Automobiles? are smaller, faster, not as noisy. Shop I passed had little boxes in the window with moving pictures with sound and color. I've been to the cinema but this was far above that. Maybe time travel? That witch must have known her stuff.

Best thing, though - the lights that illuminate the darkness. Not gas from what I can tell, no way to light 'em. But they bring colors from the daytime into the night.

Aaah! Where am I and how the bleedin' fuck did I get here? Last thing I remember is… is… what? I don't even remember what we were doing before I got sent here. Feeding? Fucking? Opera maybe? Nothin's ringin' a bell.

I need to feed. Where's a good place to start? Lakeside Florist? No. Angelo's Restaurant? No. Sellrite Shop with moving picture boxes in the window? No. Murphy's Irish Pub? That wanker Angelus. I think I rather fancy some Irish blood.

Where to start? Here's a likely prospect. Ah, nothing like the taste of fresh blood right from the source. Why are they always looking at me when I rip their hearts from their bodies?

Hm, no chaos, no screamin'. Just four gents and a barmaid lookin' at me with their jaws hanging open. And the drunk at the end of the bar. Come on people, I like it when you scream.

Who's this then? They must have a brothel upstairs, guy's still fastening his trousers. Whoops! Guy must have had about six too many, went down without any help from me. He's too drunk to bother with, just a stomp and - look at that splatter! Must have gone at least seven and a half feet. Angelus owes me a quid, that tops his best by a good eight inches.

Now the natives get restless.

"People! People! May I have your attention! Settle down, settle down and I'll explain. First, I want to thank you all for coming out tonight, all the food coming to me instead of me having to hunt it. Not that I mind hunting, s'my second favorite pasttime, but I've had a rough day, ya see, and I just wasn't up to it tonight."

Ah, the running and screaming, that's my cue. Stop the dark haired git with a kick, trip the brunette that's heading for the door. Grab a cue stick, nice sucking stomach wound will hold the other brown haired tosser until I can deal with the big guy in the corner who looks like he'll be good for seconds, thirds, maybe fourths. Shame to kill a bloke who's obviously spent a lot of time keeping fit and strong, but hey, he's just food. He does deserve something special though. Looks like the meal's going to attack - perfect. Come and get me. Cue's not pointy enough, break it in half. Another foot, eight inches, come on, I haven't got all night. In and up and yeah! Perfect hit. One body on tap.

It's an art really. Beautiful red liquid swirling down the cue stick. Need a glass - got it. Drip, drop. Isn't that a sight, even Angelus couldn't have done better. Rivulets of blood dripping from the chest of the bloke impaled on the ceiling, traveling down the polished wood of the cue to drop - plink - into a waiting beer mug. Almost brings a tear to m' eye.

This bloke's draining fast, need another glass. Mm, B positive. Wish Dru were here, it's her favorite. One more glass and he's slowing down a bit, think I'll go see about the two at the bar.

Poor scared barmaid, hiding back here all alone.

"S'all right, Pet, I'll take care of you, nothing to worry about."

Pretty thing, red hair, big green eyes, almost a shame to kill her. Have this weird desire to make her feel better. Hm? I'm sure I'll get over it.

Only conscious one left is the drunk at the end of the bar. Pick up the rag, look like a barkeep. Let's play with this one.

"What can I get ya, mate? This one's on the house."

"Really? Make it a Chevas Regal, no ice."

"Sure thing."

Chevas, chevas, who's got the chevas - ah, there it is. And a glass? Ah. One Chevas Regal, no ice. Git didn't even notice that he was being served by a vampire. I'll let him finish this one.

Gives me a couple of minutes with the redhead.

"Are, are you going to kill me?"

Should lie. "Yes."

"Can you, can you make it quick? No, um, no pain?"

"Don't go anywhere, Love. Need to finish something first."

Oh, well, Droopy the drunk has to go, can't give the girl the proper attention with him making all that noise. But I'll make it quick, just snap his neck. Back to the floor behind the bar and the girl.

Give her the shy smile. "Pet, come over here and sit on my lap. That's it. Turn and face me, there ya go."

She's got the most beautiful hair, long and straight and shiny. It's almost familiar somehow, but I can't remember.

"You got a beau, pet?"

"A what?"

"A beau, a fella." Look at the way the light hits her hair when she shakes it. Lovely.

"How 'bout me? You fancy me?" They always do.

"You, you just killed all the cust-, all those men."

"I know, but that's not what I'm askin'. Look at me, just me. Do you fancy me?"

She's not talking but those big green eyes are telling me everything.

"It won't hurt, I promise."

I love this part. I hear her moan as I lick her neck, picking my spot. Just like all the others, her juices flow as I start to drain her. I know how to do this and do it right, I just don't usually take the time. Got to go slow. I'll get there in the end, but I'll make sure she gets off first. Slowly suck the blood from her body and feel her start to tense, almost there. Oh, feel that, this one's got passion. The harder I suck the harder she climaxes. Almost gone, but she's still shaking. That's it, let it go. Lay her down easy.

Now to drain the rest of them - not so pleasantly…

Part 5
Mac's POV

"Mac, give me a, a, a I don't know, just something strong!"

"You all right, Harry? Where's Spike?"

"Spike? Who's Spike? Hit me again."

"I'll give you an ale, you're not a drinker. What happened?"

"Vampire. At the office. I think Bianca sent him, he looked like those two that attacked me before."

"He attacked you?!"

"Hell, no! I'm a wizard, I was prepared, sort of. And I knew what to expect."

"What did he look like?"

I just know I'm not going to like this answer. Thank God Willow's in the ladies room.

"Pale hair, pale eyes, thin, but muscles, little under six feet, I think."


"Mac? What's wrong? Who's Willow?"

"Harry, you're a dead man."

"What? Mac, do you-"

"Yeah, Mac, you bellowed?"

She's smiling, look at that smile. I can't tell her.

"Harry here has something he needs to tell you."

"Harry? You're Harry? Oh, I'm so happy to finally meet you. Bob's told me all about you, well, not all, I'm sure, after all we were only together about ten days and we were, well, kinda busy most of the time, but he told me an awful lot about you what you do, I do magicks too, I'm a witch, but you probably already know that, I'm sure Bob told you and gosh, I'm just so glad to finally meet you, there's just so much I want to talk to you about, after we get back of course, Spike did explain to you about going to New York City, didn't he? He didn't, did he? Big vampire fraidy cat, left it for me to do-"

"Um, my Willow?"

"Yes, Bob?"

"Bob? MY Bob? Bob the skull? Where are you, you little ingrate, I really am going to throw you down that well this time. Where's your skull!?"

"Um, broken. It was an accident, sort of, sorry."

"I'm going to-"

"Oh, do be quiet Harry and let me talk to my Willow."

"Your Willow?"

"Yes, MY Willow. Now shut up!"

"Wait, Bob. Harry, uh, Mr. Dresden -"

"You can call him Harry, my Willow."

"I don't think he likes me, Bob."

"He's a little slow when it comes to women. No experience, and he won't listen to me. But he'll like you just fine, you'll see."

"Um, okay, anyway, Mr. - uh, Harry - where's Spike?"

"That's what Mac said."

"What's what Mac said?"

"I asked where was Spike."

"Oh, and what did he say?"

"You don't want to know, Willow. Here, have a drink first."

"Harry! Where is MY SPIKE!?"

"And I still don't know. Who or what is Spike?"

"He's my, my, my boyfriend I guess, if you can call a vampire a boyfriend, but I'm not sure you can, or at least not Spike, I don't think he'd like that. He's my -"


"Um, yes?"

"You sent a vampire to attack me?"

"He wouldn't attack you, Spike's not like that, except when he is, but that's only when he's helping Buffy-"

"The slayer? A vampire helps the slayer?"

"You know Buffy?"

"Just heard about her. She's lived longer than any other slayer in history, she must be very good."

"She is very good, and, and we help. All of us. Giles and Xander and me and Spike, we help her. Now where is he? Where's Spike?"

"You're telling me that this vampire is a good vampire? He doesn't kill people? He doesn't feed? He's not evil?"

"Well, I wouldn't say this in front of him, not the evil part anyway, but, yeah he's good. He only kills demons, he drinks either pig's blood or expired bagged blood. He used to be evil, he used to be William the Bloody, you can ask Mac about him, he knew him before, but now he's changed, changed even more since Bob brought us together. He's a good guy."

"BOB brought you together? How and when was this?"

"Bob? You didn't tell him? Not that I expected you to tell him everything, in fact, I'd kill you if you did, but I expected you to at least tell him about me and Spike."

"Yeah, Bob, come on and tell me."

"Well, Harry, you did give me a couple of weeks off-"

"You blackmailed me into giving you a couple of weeks off."

"Well, if you want to put it that way-"

"That's how it was. You wouldn't help me with the spell I needed to save that boy's life unless I gave you a two-week vacation."

"Whatever. You told me to get out of Illinois, you didn't want any more headlines, so I went to California. The Hellmouth to be exact. Found a college-"

"Bob, what is it with you and sorority houses? Why can't you keep your jiggles to yourself? Oh, that's right. You have an 'academic' interest in sex. Go on, what did you do, but please no details."

"Fine. I spent a night wandering around the college and found a party. I helped a few things along, met the slayer, sort of, and my Willow was there."

"Oh my god, you didn't- he didn't- Bob, how could you? Look at her, she's a sweet young lady, how could you?"

"Hey, buster, I'll have you know I'm not all that sweet. I dated a musician!"

"Who was a werewolf."

"Thank you, Bob. A musician who was a werewolf!"

"Anyway, Harry, my Willow rebuffed all my advances. I threw everything I had at her and nothing. She went and found a spell to stop my orgy, in fact."

"Willow, can I have that spell?"

"Harry, listen. I spent a couple of nights wandering the campus. At dawn, I found a nice quiet skull to hole up in. At least I thought it would be quiet. Turned out it was the home of a vampire, Spike, to be specific and he wasn't a bad fellow as vampires go. He let me stay, not that I gave him a choice, but he figured out what I was about when I sent a dozen women to his crypt one day."

"You sent a dozen women to their death?"

"No, Harry, you're not listening. I didn't send them as food and the vampire, he, at least, is smart enough to know what to do with a woman when he has one. Hell, he knew what to do with twelve. And every one made it home that night, safe and sound and smiling."

"Bob, you're not ranking real high on my happy meter right now, ya know?"

"Sorry, Willow. When he was done with the girls he figured out that I was the one making everyone, well- he went looking for me. He found Willow. They work together, they knew each other and she had resisted everything I gave her. I wanted to keep her for myself, but it seems that vampire had been having the same idea, but for about two years. She was under my influence and he got her."

"Bob! Could we skip this part?"

"I'm skimming, but he has to know, Willow, he has to understand. That's the only way he'll reverse it."

"REVERSE WHAT? Harry, what did you do?"

"I thought Bianca sent him."

"What did you do?"

"I thought he was going to attack me."

"Why would you think that? What did he do? What did he say?"

"Nothing, really. I knew what he was as soon as he walked in. I've been attacked before, I knew what to do this time."


"Time spell. Personality reversal. Supposed to change them into the opposite of what they are now. Take their personality back in time, back to when they were good. But if he's good now…"

"You mean, nasty - meanie! You're a bad man! How could you? You took my Spike away from me! I don't like you! You had no right to - to - I'm gonna… Well, I don't know yet, but it'll be bad! And another thing…"

I should stop her. But I won't. Not for a while. Wizards! Always casting first, asking questions later. Like I said before - dumb.

Part 6

"Mac, can I have another one?"

"You've had enough, Harry. You're not a drinker, you're going to hate yourself in the morning."

"Not another ale, Mac. Another bag of ice."

"Oh, sure thing. Here."

"Bob, what am I going to do? I have to get Spike back. But I don't know where to find him, let alone reverse the spell. What do I do? Where do I start?"

"Calm down, my Willow, we'll find him, we'll figure it out. Although, I guess finding him should be our first priority. Mac, turn on the news."


"Will everyone please stop questioning the very intelligent four-hundred year old air spirit and just DO AS I SAY!"

"Geez, Bob, calm down."

"We're interrupting your telecast for this late breaking news. Police have just discovered the bodies of six people at Murphy's Irish Pub at Fifth and Steele. Some of the bodies were apparently mutilated and others died of severe neck trauma. No leads as yet on what happened or why this establishment was chosen. The best guess so far is that a gang on PCP had a grudge against the owner or one of the patrons. We'll bring you more from the scene as more information is obtained."

"Oh, dear."

"Bob, what is it?"

"Don't you see, my Willow? That was Spike."

"But - but Spike would never - not - not mutilate - it couldn't have been, it was a gang on PC- OH! Oh, no! That's what they say back home too, when - when vamp- oh, not Spike, he could never…"

"He could and he would, thanks to Harry here."

"WILLOW! Willow stop! Mac, grab her! Willow, we have to stop him and beating Harry to a bloody pulp, much as he deserves it, isn't going to help. Now think! We know where he was an hour or so ago - Fifth and Steele. Let's head over there and see if we can track him down. Harry, can you call Billy and his friends and get them on Spike's scent?"

"Yes, I guess so, but I'll need something of his for them to smell."

"No problem, just tell them to sniff out leather and cigarettes. But if you need something more tangible, there's a black Desoto across the street. Just open the door, Spike's scent is all over that car."

"Okay, I'll call them now. Mac, can I use your phone?"

"Bob, who's Billy?"

"Oh, you'll like him, my Willow. He and his friends are werewolves."

"Really? But how can they help? It's not a full moon and even if it were, aren't they - well, wild? How can they help?

"There are different types of werewolves. Billy and his friends are just your classic werewolves. They can turn at will, and keep some of their humanity when they do. Oz was a loup-garou. A human that changes into an animal during the full moon. He keeps none of his humanity, has no control over himself until the moon sets. Billy will be able to find Spike, don't worry."

Spike's POV

Need to find a place to hole up before daylight, but I've got a few hours yet. What fun can I get into next? Not hungry and no Dru or Angelus to tell me what to do, this could be fun. What do I want to do? Well, that's easy…

Part 7
Willow's POV

"Willow, I think we should all stick together. If you run into Spike, he's not going to know it's you. You won't stand a chance against him."

"Harry, he's already fed. He's not going to eat me. We should just split up and patrol both sides of this street. It's bright, there's a lot to do here and Spike loves to be the center of attention. If this is where the action is, this is where Spike will be."

"But you're - and the action on this street, well, it isn't the kind of action a girl such as yourself should, I mean - this is where - if a guy wants - men come here to-"

"Yes, I get it, Harry. It's one of the reasons I'm sure this is where Spike will be. No matter what state his mind is in, I know Spike. He has two priorities, the first one's survival - meaning blood and this is the other. We'll go up and down the street. Billy, you and your friends patrol the alleys and try to pick up his scent. Anybody sees or smells anything, scream and we'll all come running. We have to get him contained before he does any more damage."

"That's my Willow, the boss of us."

"Thanks, Bob. You'll come with me?"

"Of course."

"Bob, this is pointless. We've been here for over an hour and no-"

"Hey, Red. How much?"

"Spike! Oh, Spike, I'm so-"

"Do I know you? All I want's a quick fuck, baby, not a relationship. If you're not willin' to take my money, there's a hundred other girls on this street-"

Oh, goddess! He doesn't know me! He's not - not my Spike. He's William the Bloody kind of Spike. Evil vampire Spike! Evil Spike wanted to kill Buffy! And all of us! It's okay, not Sunnydale. No slayer here. Wait! He thinks I'm a - a - why would he think that? I don't look like a - do I? No. Okay. Maybe - no, that won't work. That's okay. Got to get him away from all these people. I can do this. Deep breath, I can do this.

"Y- yes, I'll take it. I'm - I'm ready. I can, uh, that is -"

"How long you been in this line of work, Pet? You don't seem too experienced. I like to play hard, Pet and if you can't keep up, well-"

Can't keep up? If I can't keep up he'll what? Find a skanky 'ho to have sex with? You are so going to pay for this when we get you fixed, mister! Breathe. This is Spike, I can do this. Talk to him like he's my Spike. I can do this.

"Yeah, Sp- mister, I can not only keep up, I'll wear you out. Hold on a sec while I talk to my, uh, my pimp? Just wait a sec. Wait here."

"Bob, go find the others, tell them I've got Spike. I'll get him to take me to one of the motels along this strip and then you guys come running. Get something to chain him down with and some blankets to cover the windows. I'll see you later."

"You normally talk to nobody? You're not barmy, are ya, Red? You're definitely the hottest thing out here tonight, but I'm not doing any nut cases, I already got one of those at home."

At home? Is he talking about Dru?! He's got Dru at home?! Wait, wait, breathe. Thanks to Harry, his brain is back in time. He thinks he's still with Drusilla. I'm gonna kick that wizard into next year, I swear!

Drusilla, geez! As if! I'm so much better for him than Drusilla! She doesn't deserve him! Somebody is gonna pay for this - several somebodies even. Harry first, but Spike's not getting off easy either, you'd think he'd recognize me on some level. Goddess, please let this be over soon, I have wizards and vampires to yell at!

"Somethin' wrong, Red? You're lookin' a little hot under the collar there. For a meek little thing, you got a lot of fire in there. Makes your eyes sparkle. I think maybe you'll do after all, wanna see that fire in my bed - provided you're not a nutter…"

"No, not crazy. Just um, cell phone. Called on my cell phone. Letting my uh, pimp know I'm on the job is all. Let's go. Where to?"

"I've got a place. Little bit of a walk, but I'm sure you'll like it."

"You - you don't want to stay here? This looks like a nice place, and hey, they rent by the hour! Let's go in here."

"Sorry, but no. You promised to wear me out, remember? I've got a nice big hotel room a couple blocks over that will fit our needs nicely. Lots of room, nice big bed, room service."

"But - but, I don't usually-"

"Hey! Just do as I say, right?! You're gettin' to be a right lot of trouble for a quick fuck. Maybe I should find someone else-"

Find someone else!! When you get back to normal you're so going to pay for that!

"NO! No, I'm good. Just not used to, uh, guys being so good to me. Usually it's just in and out, you know. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am. I can do a big bed, I won't be any more trouble." Until you're fixed, then your ass is in *big* trouble.

"Good. You've got a nice little body and I like you for some reason. Plus, you're clean. Some these skags look like they haven't bathed in a month. And you're not all mussed up, am I your first tonight?"

"Yes, yes you are. My first. For tonight."

"You smell good, like vanilla, but there's something -?"

What? What's he smell? Oh goddess, help me! Ow, that hurt! Let go of my head!

"You've been BITTEN!"

"Y- y- yeah."

"Who? That's mine. That's my bite. My mark! When did I - ?"

"While a-ago. You were - you were drunk, that's it. That's why you don't remember. You were drunk and you bit me while we were, um, you know."

"I was drunk? That's a claiming bite, Love, not a feeding bite. You must be some great fuck for me to have claimed you, I've never claimed anyone. Let's go, I want to review these skills of yours while I'm sober."

That's me, Willow Rosenberg, one great fuck. Sigh.

Part 8
Spike's POV

"Any messages for William Aurelius?"

"Let me check, sir."

This girl is so warm, so hot, so - wet? Already? This one is going to be a lot of fun. But I can't figure her out. She's a twenty dollar whore but she blushes when I stick my hand in her knickers. Feels nice in here though. That's the way to tell a good paid fuck from a bad one. The good ones are ready for you before you even touch them. This one is very good.

"I'm sorry, sir. The message you were expecting hasn't arrived yet."

Bloody hell, Angelus, how long are you gonna leave me here?

"Let's go, Red."

"So, Red, just how good are you?"

"You'll just have to wait and see."

"Oh, I don't hafta anything. I do who I want, when I want, and I'm gonna do you in the elevator."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Watch me."

"Spike, I can't-"

"You can and you will. You know what I am. You really think a little human girl is gonna stop me?"

"Which floor, sir?"


"Our Governor's Club, yes, sir."

"Turn around, Red, face the wall."


"Just do it, bitch or he dies."

"O - o - o - okay."

"Hands on the wall at all times. You move them and he dies."

Good girl, now you're gettin' it. Let's see what she tastes like. Convenient - them having this nice thick carpet for a bloke to sit on. Look at 'er, she looks terrified. Perfect. Get rid of these.

R - r - r - ip

Look at that, nice and puffy and just waitin' to be sucked. Mmm, warm. And sweet. Sweet lemony custard. Like the sauce my mum used to make to go on pudding. Gods below, this girl tastes like… there's no word for it. What? Not like Dru, that's for sure.

"Move your leg up, Baby. Put your foot on that rail. Yeah, like that."

"Mmmm, Spike. Oh, goddess, Spike, I'm gonna -"

"Cum for me, Baby. Cum for Spike."

Hot, sweet lemon tarts. This girl tastes like -

"Oh, goddess, Spike! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oooooooohh…"


"Um, sir? This is the f - f - four - fourteenth f- floor."

"Right. Come on, Red."

Where the hell's that card thing? What happened to keys - this place is loonier than Dru.

"Kneel on the coffee table."


"Are you gonna keep saying 'what?' every time I give you an order? Just do it! What am I paying you for?"

"Um, about that -"

"Right. Here's ah, fifteen hundred. That's for the night. If you're worth more, you'll get more."

"Fif - fif- fifteen hundred dollars?! Where did you get fifteen hundred dollars?!"

"None of your bloody business! Shut yer yap and get on your hands and knees on the fuckin' coffee table!"

Where does she get off askin' me about my business? She's a two-bit street corner whore, not my bloody sire! I don't care how good she tastes, nobody - but nobody - gets in my business. Make her pay - make her hurt - make her scream!

"Get your ass over here!"

Fuck her 'til she shuts up, that's the way. Works on Dru, it'll work on this little redhead. Just grab her and - - - - hot! This girl has the hottest cunt I've ever felt. Even when I'm screaming at her she's hot and wet and ready for me. Listen to her. If I'm hurtin' her, she's likin' it. Deeper, harder, hammer her until she breaks. Rip her open! Teach the bitch a lesson.

"Oh, Sp- Spike. Yes, more. Please more. Oh, goddess."

She wants more? She's - oh - oh - she's tight. This chit has some killer muscles, and she knows just how to move to get me off. I don't think I'm gonna be able to -

"FUCK! Oh yeah, Baby, keep milkin' me, that's it, that's-"

Shit! Shit - shit - shit! Damn little chit gives me a mind-blowing orgasm and she doesn't come. William the effin' Bloody has NEVER left a chit unsatisfied and I'm not starting now, not with this little slip of a girl!

"Come here."

Get her on the bed, give me some room.

"You won't need these anymore - strip - fast! Open your legs! I need to taste you again!"

"You need - need me?"

Wipe that damn smile off your face!

"No, Red, I don't 'need' you. I want you - temporarily - for the night - then you're gone. But right now I nee- want! I want some pussy and you're here, so- Stop smiling!"

"Anything you say, Spike."

"Open your legs, dammit!"

So good. So sweet and so warm. What it is about this girl? I can't get enough of her! I hope Angelus never calls for me. I wanna spend the rest of my unlife between this girl's legs. Never tasted anything this good and I've tasted more than my share. Stop it, ya ponce! Just eat her, fuck her and leave her! There is NOTHING special about this girl! No matter how good she tastes. That's it, grab on, Red, but I'm not goin' anywhere, one of the benefits of not breathin'. Warm fingers in my hair, that feels good too - prob'ly just 'cause I'm not used to warmth, that's it, she's not special, she's just warm!

"Spike, yes, there - don't, don't, don't stop - don't - yes - yes, right - S - P - I - K- E!"

"Wanna be in you, Red. Wrap your legs around my waist, that's it."

Eyes. She has green eyes. Innocent green eyes. Slow down, make it last for her, make it good for her. Not bein' a ponce, just want her ta come this time. Why is she lookin' at me like that? What's wrong with her? I feel like I broke her heart and I don't even know the chit. That's right - I do. The bite, the claim. When was that? What's happened to me? I don't remember anything, you'd think I'd remember her. Remember claiming her. Bloody hell, she's beautiful - all flushed and pink. Beautiful…

"Mmm, Spike, oh goddess, that feels good. I love when you do that. Oh yes, oh, goddess, lick, just lick, you know I love it when you -"

Even her tits taste good. Hard pert nipples that feel so good in my mouth. What's that she said? I know? How do I know? There's somethin' this chit's not tellin' me… I don't care, I'll find out later. This girl's too hot to waste on thinkin'.

"Like that, Red? You want more? I've got more, all you have to do is ask."

"More, harder"

"Did I say ask? I meant beg."

"Please, please, Spike. Goddess, you feel so good. Please, I want you - all of you - please?"

Nothin' I like better than a willing slave. All ya gotta do is beg.

"Spike! Oh, goddess, SPIKE! SPIKE!"

"Yeah, Red, I'm here, I'm right there with ya - oh, fuck! RED!"

"So good, Spike. You feel so go…"

"Hey, Red?"

Thought she was gonna wear me out? ::yawn:: Looks like I wore her out. ::yawn:: I'll just ::yawn:: let her sleep awhile… zzzzzzzzzzzz

Part 9
Willow's POV

Mmm. This is nice. Waking up in Spike's arms. I don't think I'll ever be able to sleep alone ever again. How did I ever get any rest bef- - - Oh, goddess! Spike! Vampire Spike! Killer vampire Spike! I fell asleep next to a vampire that eats people! Heh, well, eats them the other way. Stop! Think, Willow, think! What to do? Nothing here to tie him up with. Nothing that will hold him anyway. I've got to get Bob. What time -? Four!? It's four o'clock in the afternoon? That's what you get for staying up with Spike until five, ya ninny. Okay. Still got time, it's daylight. If I can get out of the room - and the hotel, he can't follow me. I've got time to get Bob and Harry and everybody and get back here before the sun goes down. Okay, that sounds good. That's a plan. Okay, get up slowly; don't wake up the sleeping vampire. Vampiro Dormiens Nunquam Exsuscitare. Dumbledore would be so proud of me! Hee hee. Stop, Willow, stop. Keep my mind on what I'm doing. Okay. Out of bed, check. Dressed, check. Get back to Mac's, not check. Where am I and how far away is MacAnally's? Okay, get a cab - that's a good idea. How do I pay for the cab? Money, of course. Have no money, Spike had all our money. Okay, I'm in Spike's room, where's our money? Coat? No. Pants? No. Where would he… Fifteen hundred dollars sitting right there. But I can't take that; he stole that. Yes, but I need money for a cab and this is kind of an emergency. But it's not my money; it's somebody else's money. Some dead person's money and since he or she is dead, they aren't going to be needing it anyway. But it's still stolen. Do I want to stand here trying to justify taking some money and take the chance of waking up William the Bloody? No, I don't, but I can't take the money, he stole it. So, I'll pay it back. To whom? A dead guy? Well, I don't know! Oh, just take some money and go get Bob. Fine. Money, check. Now get the hell out of here!

Wait! What if he wakes up before I get back? How do I keep him - Clothes, take his clothes! Pants, check. Coat, check. Man, is he gonna pissed when this is gone. Or maybe not, he's back in time so he doesn't know yet how he got the coat. This is too confusing, stop thinking, just get the clothes. Shirt, check. Boots, check. Socks, check. Did he buy any more clothes? Nope, nothing in the closet. I don't think I can take a chance on opening the drawers. Who am I kidding, Spike never puts anything away. If he'd bought something, it would still be in the bag and on the floor somewhere. I'd better take the rest of the money too, so he can't go downstairs and buy something, there were lots of stores off the lobby. Well, I don't think he'd go down naked, but he can call and have them bring something up. But not without money. Is that everything? Okay, now get the hell out of here!

"Mac! Oh thank the goddess, you're here. Where is everybody?"

"Willow! Where have you been? We were out all night looking for you. We checked every sleazy motel we could find and you weren't in any of them. We were starting to think you were dead, but Bob kept saying you were still alive. They all went back out a couple of hours ago, looking for you again, they were going to talk to everyone in the area, see if anyone saw where you went last night."

"But I need them now! I've got Spike, or at least I know where he is and he's still asleep or he was when I left and since it's daylight he can't leave anyway. Unless the hotel has tunnel access, but Spike wouldn't know where that was anyway, would he? Of course he would, just keep going down until you get a door that says "Tunnel Access'. Do they have those here? Sunnydale has them everywhere, in almost every building but that was because of Mayor Wilkins building the town for demons, but here you'd think-"

"Willow, calm down. Take a deep breath. If there are any buildings with tunnel access - other than municipal utility authorities, that is, than I don't know about it. Chicago wasn't build for demons, it was built for humans, I'm fairly certain of that."

"Good! Good. Okay. No getting out through the tunnels then. We have to go back and chain him down or whatever so Harry can undo the spell."

"You know that won't work, he's a vampire, he'll break right through them, we need Harry. Harry can enhance them so they won't break, unless - can you do it? You're a witch, right?"

"Yeah, I'm a witch, but not a very good one, things tend to go kaflooey when I try something new and magickally enhancing chains, well, that's something I've never even read a spell for, let alone tried. You're right, we need Harry. Does he have a cell phone?"

"Nah, phones don't work for Harry. Too much magick. Nothing mechanical or electrical works around him."

"What? That's silly. I'm a witch, but I'm still the best hacker in Sunnydale. Maybe I'm not magickal enough? But no, Miss Calendar was a majorly powerful techno-pagan."

"A what?"

"A techno-pagan. A witch who uses technology to enhance her abilities. Her coven even had its meetings on-line. And she was my computer teacher, never had any computer problems and she was around computers all the time. In fact, she designed a computer program to translate Angel's curse from the ancient Romany so that I could re-curse him. And that was no easy thing, let me tell ya. Big magicks it took for that, I even channeled some dead gypsy witch to finish the spell."

"Willow, you seem like a really nice girl, but nothing you say makes any sense."

"Yeah, I get that a lot. Xander always says-"


"Xander. Alexander Harris, my best friend, along with Buffy, of course. Buffy Summers, she's the slayer. And Oz, who I used to date, Daniel Osbourne, but everybody called him Oz, he's a werewolf. Giles is Buffy's watcher -"

"What's a watcher?"

"Um, sort of like a manager, or a coach, or a teacher or all of the above. But he watches the rest of us too. We go to him for advice and stuff and we hang out at his apartment, even though he doesn't have cable."

"What about your parents?"

"Well, my parents have been MIA for about ten years now, and Xander's parents, well, it's not really my place to say anything, so let's just say that they aren't the nicest people, okay?"


"So Xander and I, well, we've always been each other's family. We raised each other, always been there for each other. And then Buffy moved to Sunnydale and Buffy's mom is like, super-cool and she takes care of us too. She bakes us cookies and birthday cakes and always makes sure we wear our coats when it gets cold. And then Giles, he was our school's librarian, well, we started hanging out in the library to help Buffy, we were the Slayerettes, but now we're the Scoobies, 'cause you know, Scooby-Doo, mysteries, that kind of thing, and I'm Velma, I do all the smart person stuff, well, me and Giles anyway, and Xander's Shaggy cause he gets beat up a lot and plus, the eating when he's nervous thing. And Buffy looks a lot like Daphne, but of course, she's not, she's got all the super powers and none of the Scooby-Doo gang had super powers, but she's sorta Daphne with super-powers, I guess. We don't have a Fred, or a Scooby-Doo, unless maybe Oz was Scooby-Doo, you know, being a werewolf, which is kinda like a wolf, which is related to dogs, but he's not really Scooby, we didn't give him Scooby snacks or anything, plus he's gone now, left, not dead or vamped or anything like that. Maybe Giles is Fred, they both dress weird and Giles is the one who usually comes up with the plan for catching or killing the big bad of the week, yeah, maybe Giles is Fred."

"Willow, eat this."

"Oh, thanks Mac. I haven't eaten since, I don't remember the last time I ate, maybe -"

"Willow, shut up and eat. And don't talk with your mouth full."

"Hey, this is good!"

"Thank you, now keep eating. I'm going to go take some aspirin and maybe it will have started to work by the time you're done."

"Bob! Harry! Where have you been? The sun's about to set, I was waiting for you. I stole Spike's clothes so he couldn't leave the hotel and -"

"My Willow! You're safe! We've been searching everywhere for you. Don't you ever do that again! Where were you?"

"Spike, he rented this room in this really nice hotel, the Madison it's called, it's really nice."

"I've been there. It's not so nice when there are two corpses with their hearts ripped out of their chests in the bedroom."

"What? Harry, are you serious? How did somebody do that? They'd have to be really strong. What kind of demon was it?"

"Not a demon. Magic."

"But - but - you can't do that with magick, how would you gather the energy? Never mind, tell me later, we have to get over to the Madison and hope Spike's still there."

"Willow, the sun's almost set, by the time we get there, he'll be gone."

"Well, um, I sort of took all his clothes. And all his money."

"My Willow. Beauty and brains. Let's go."

Part 10

"What do you mean by 'He's checked out'? How could he check out? He didn't have any clothes! Or any money!"

"I assure you, miss, when Mr. Aurelius left us, he was dressed in a very nice suit and how he paid is confidential."

"Great. Just great. Well, Bob, what do we do now?"

"Let's go back to Mac's and regroup. Get Billy and the other wolves on his scent again. We have his clothes now, that should make it easier for them."

"Okay. I don't like it, but okay."

"WILLOW! He was here! Spike was here! Not long after you left. Had an ale and left. He had no idea who I was, but he really liked the ale. Said he'd be back if he stayed in town. He'll come to us, we don't have to go find him."

"But where is he now? What's he doing now? Is he hurting anyone? Bob, I can't stand this, we have to do something."

"It's all right, my Willow. We'll send out the troups to track him down, but you, Harry and I will stay here in case he comes back, okay?"

"I guess."

"Three days, Bob! It's been three days since we've seen him. And he hasn't come back, yet. What are we going to do?"

"Psst, Harry, he's here. Willow, you stay back here. After stealing his clothes and his money he's probably out for blood where you're concerned. Sorry, no pun intended. Harry, get out here and work your magick on him. He's at the table next to Gabriel and Xavier, playing chess as usual."

"Okay, Mac. Don't worry, Willow, I can fix this. You'll have your boyfriend back in no time."


"I tried everything I had, including a binding spell, nothing worked, it was like he was magically protected -"

"SHOOT! Hey! You tried to hurt him?"


"He is magickally protected. I did a no-harm spell before we got to Giles' apartment so that Buffy couldn't stake him. I forgot to take it off. I forgot I even put it on him."

"Then why did Harry's first spell work on him?"

"Because, Mac, my spell just changed his personality. It didn't harm him at all. It makes him want to harm everybody else, but it wouldn't harm him. Willow, how could you be so stupid? You put a no-harm spell on a vampire!"

"Hey! He's not just any vampire! He's my vampire and before you and your stupid spell came along, he wasn't a danger to anybody!"

"You don't know that! He's a VAMPIRE! Vampire's kill people!"

"Shut up! Just shut up! You know NOTHING! Absolutely nothing. Spike's been helping the Slayer - the VAMPIRE Slayer! He stopped killing - on his own - well, I think maybe Angel had something to do with it, I'm not sure, but anyway, he stopped killing BY HIS OWN CHOICE! He kills vampires now. He helps us! He knows about hundreds of demons, he speaks a bajillion demon languages, he's strong, almost as strong as Buffy, and HE LOVES ME! He loves me. And I love him. He would never, ever-"

"You don't know that for sure, Willow."

"Maybe she doesn't, but I do, Harry. That vampire loves my Willow. Has loved her for a long time. That's why he stopped killing. That's why he joined forces with the Slayer. He loves my Willow and he would never do anything that would hurt her, not willingly anyway. Until you and your spell, you made him forget. We have to make him remember… WILLOW! My Willow, I know how to do it, I know how to-"

"BOB! Just in case!"

Part 11
Willow's POV

"So, how do we get him to drink it?"

"I don't know. I just come up with the potions, I don't force people to drink them."

"Ew! Smells nasty, Bob. He's never gonna drink this willingly."

"Well, we could mask it, mix it with something else."

"That would work? Won't it change the chemistry or something?"

"No, that's the beauty of alchemy. You take something, or in this case, a bunch of things, heat them, add some magick and the result is something completely different - molecularly. It's no longer just a combination of all the things we put into it, it's an entirely new compound. So you could put in a Coke, for instance and it would still be the potion, just swimming around the glass with the Coke. See?"

"I know. Magick 101, I took that class. That doesn't tell us how to get Spike to drink it."

"Yes it does. Spike likes Mac's ale. We put some in the ale. But he's still gonna be able to smell it, so we've got to get enough other smells in here to mask it. Any ideas from the peanut gallery?"

"Don't look at me. My apartment smells like burning wood no matter how many candles I burn. But I don't think Mac wants to burn wood twenty-four seven in his pub - a pub that's made of two by sixes and has his great-grandfathers hand-carved wood columns in it."

"True. Anybody else?"



"Fish. I'll run a special on fish until he comes back. Once he's here, I can pull out a couple of cases of fresh fish from the back before I serve him his ale. Ever been down to the docks at dawn? That smell is unholy."

"Mac, you're brilliant, I love you, I really do."

"Wasn't nothin', Willow. Let's see if it works first."

"Mac? I've been meaning to ask you something."

"What's that, Harry?"

"I've been coming here a couple of times a week for the past three years and I don't think I've heard you say fifty words all together. In the last five days, you haven't shut up. What's up with that?"

"She's prettier than you are."

"Guess I can't argue with that."

"Willow, he's here, give me the bottle."


"Just stay put Willow, he's not likely to have forgotten what you did to him. I'll do this, I promise. Stay put, you hear me?"

"Yes, Mac. Spoil sport."

"My Willow, what good will it be to have him back if he bites you?"

"Yeah, yeah. But that doesn't mean I can't peek."

"Willow, stay back here!"

"Be quiet, Billy, he won't see me."

"Well at least tell us what's happening."

"Mac's bringing out more fish… Spike's ordering his drink, I guess, Mac's nodding. More fish… oh, right up on the counter! That's gotta stink something awful."

"That's the idea."

"I know, shh. Okay, Mac's giving him a glass of ale… He's lifting it… It's at his mouth… He looks funny, he's putting it down! He's talking to Mac. Mac's frowning, what's wrong? It's not wor- oh, wait, he's lifting it again… he threw it! He threw it across the bar! NO! He's leaving!"

"Mac, give me the potion!"




'Spike, gotta find Spike, I don't see him!'


'Goddess this stuff tastes like crap! Where is he? Whoa - this stuff's potent, it's like… There he is!' "Spike, you hate me right? Fine! Get your ass over here and bite me!"

"Willow, don't! My Willow! Spike, NO! You love her! Let her go! Stop, you're killing her! Spike! Harry, stop him!"

Part 12

"How could you let her do it!?"

"I didn't let her, Vampire. She just did it."

"Harry, you fucking piece of shit, you'd better get out of my sight."

"It's just - Murphy's on her way up. Karin Murphy, head of Special Investigations. The doctor who worked on her reported it. I thought you might want to - it might be best if you left for a while."

"After what you did to me - after what she did for me, I almost - you think I'm gonna leave because I'm scared of a bleedin' cop! I'm not leavin' this room until Willow leaves with me."

"She lost a lot of blood, Spike. It's going to take her a couple of days to recover. The sun -"

"I'M NOT LEAVING THIS ROOM UNTIL WILLOW COMES WITH ME! Talk to me again, wizard and I have no problem at all rippin' your bloody throat out. Now get out. I'll handle the cop."

"Right. But she's a friend of mine, this cop. She's not stupid."

"I'm not either, wizard, although your intelligence is in serious doubt. Now get the fuck out of this room, this hospital, this city. Get out until I'm gone or you may not live to see another sunrise."

"Harry, it's okay. I'm here. Murphy will be safe. So will Willow. He really does love her."

"Bob, you'd better be right or that deep well I had in mind won't be good enough for you."

"Murphy, hello. I was just leaving."

"Can you stay, I'd really like your opinion on this one. You know we've been chasing some lunatic that's been ripping people's throats out and I'd like your input."

"No, Murphy, I can't. I really have to go. I've seen her though, she's sort of a friend of mine. I don't think your department needs to worry about this one, it's not like the others."

"Let me be the judge of that."

"I know, Murph. I gotta go."

"Your name, sir?"


"Spike? That your full name?"

"Yes, no. William. William Aurelius. Just nobody's called me that in a really long time."

"Okay then, Mr. Aurelius. Are you related to Miss Rosenberg?"

"Not yet."

"You two engaged?"

"Something like that."

"That's nice. She seems like a nice girl and if she's a friend of Dresden's… well he's famous for helping good people."

"If you say so."

"Doc said she has two punctures in her throat. Any idea how your girlfriend got those?"


"Where you with her when it happened?"


"I was told she was outside of MacAnally's Pub. Is that right?"

"I guess so."

"Where were you?"

"I was with a friend."

"May I ask your friend's name?"

"Angelus. Liam Angelus. He's gone though. Went back to LA."

"Do you have your friend's phone number on you?"

"What is this?"

"We have to check everything Mr. Aurelius. Your friend's number?"

"Don't know it offhand. Look under 'Angel Investigations' in LA. You'll find him there."

"Your friend a PI?"

"He thinks so."

"Was he here in Chicago on business?"


"Where will you be if I need to reach you?"


"Where are you staying after visiting hours?"


"I don't think the staff will let -"

"I'll. Be. Here."

"All right, Mr. - Spike. She's going to be okay. The doctor said she was out of danger."

"Don't trust doctors."

"Well, I don't usually either, to tell you the truth. But I've seen Miss Rosenberg's charts myself. She really is going to be all right."

"Thanks. But I'm not leaving her just the same."

"I think she's a very lucky girl. Goodbye, Spike."


"Yes, Spike?"

"Spike? I'm not 'vampire' anymore? Doesn't matter. Can you do your jiggles over the phone?"

"I don't know, I've never tried. Why?"

"'Cause if she calls my bloody poof of a sire, it's gonna take a miracle to get him to lie for me."

"Don't worry, Spike. I'll make sure Harry talks to him. Harry can be very persuasive when he chooses to be."

"No, not Harry."

"Fine. I'll stay here and you go find a phone booth and see if you can talk him into it."

"I'm not leaving this room."

"Then you're stuck with Harry."

"No. You do it. Have Harry dial or whatever, but you talk to him, even if you can't jiggle him. Tell him - tell him whatever you want, tell him the truth for all I care, just buy me a few days. I need to make sure she's okay. Tell him I'll be at his place the day after I know she's gonna be okay and I'll even bring the stake."

Part 13
Bob's POV

'He's going to die. He hasn't eaten in four days. My Willow, she'll be okay, she's anemic but she's okay. But he won't talk to her, won't look at her. She's too weak to really be able to talk to him though. He blames himself. So does that Angel guy. I didn't care for him at all, but I told him that if he didn't back up Spike's story, I'd tell every demon I came across where his 'Peaches' nickname came from. Okay, so I don't know, but he doesn't know that. And I don't come across many demons sitting in a skull on a shelf in Harry's lab, but again, what he doesn't know helps Spike. He said he'd back up Spike's story and that he'd be here in a few days to take care of Spike himself. I hope he meant that in a good way.' "Willow!"




'Who are all these people?'

"Excuse me."

"Who said that?"

"Who's in charge here?" 'Stupid humans. Ok, all pointing at the tweedy guy. Must be Giles.'

"Are you Giles?"

"Who is that? Who's speaking? Are you a, a ghost or spirit of some sort?"

"Giles, follow the bouncing orange light. There you go. I'm Bob, I'm a friend of Willow and Spike's."

"If you're a friend of Spike's than get the hell out, you're no friend of Willow's! I'd stake his ass myself but I promised Angel I'd let him do it. I just have to keep him detain- Is that Spike?"

"You must be Buffy. All mouth and muscle, no brains. Spike was right on target about you."

"What?! I'll kill him. After you tell me why he looks like that."

"He hasn't eaten. I keep stealing blood for him but he won't drink it. He won't talk, he doesn't sleep. I don't think he's blinked in a day and a half. He blames himself for Willow."

"That's because it's his fault! He tried to kill her! I told you! I told all of you, but would you listen to the Xan-man, no! I'm not waiting for Angel, I don't care what you promised him, I -"

"SHUT UP! What is wrong with you people? Is there a complete brain among you? This was not Spike's fault!"

"Then who bit her?"

"Who are you? They didn't tell me about you. I know Giles, the watcher. And Buffy the slayer. Xander is the supposed best-friend who didn't have enough faith in my Willow to let her make her own choice or enough intelligence to take one look at Spike and see how much he loves her."

"I'm Anya, I'm Xander's girlfriend."

"Do I know you? You look very familiar."

"No, I'm sure I don't know you. Just a normal human girl here, no knowledge of air spirits or anything like that."

"I never said I was an air spirit, but I am. How did you know that?"

"Lucky guess?"

"How long have you known my Willow?"

"Why do you call her my Willow?"

'Very pretty, Spike was right, she's going to break a lot of hearts in a few years.' "You are Dawn, Buffy's sister, is that correct? Of course it's correct, I'm never wrong. And this lovely lady must be Joyce Summers. Enchante, madame. Spike and my Willow have a very regard for you and I respect their opinions. It is indeed an honor."

"Why do you call her my Willow?"

"Why does everyone ask me that? I call her that, Dawn, because she is mine. I have taken it upon myself to protect her and see to her happiness. She means more to me than any human except Harry, the wizard I work for. That's why I call her my Willow."

"Protect her? You call this protecting her? Spike tried to kill her! Where were you then?"

"Right beside her, trying to keep her from committing suicide, because that's what this was - not murder, but suicide."


"How can that be?"

"She'd never -"

"Wills wouldn't-"

"STOP! Stop this instant and sit down, all of you, I have a story to tell you."

Part 14
Bob's POV

"So she did it to save Spike?"

"Yes, Dawn, she has faith in him, you see. Just like you do, sitting there holding his hand. She didn't believe he would kill her, even though there were no guarantees on how fast the potion would work. But she was willing to take the chance. She loves him that much. And you can see how much he loves her. Well, Dawn can see at any rate, and I'm sure Joyce knows as well. The rest of you, I don't know about. You're so blinded by what you think you know, that you can't see what is."

"Buffy, where are you going?"

"I'll be right back, Giles."

"Where'd she go? What's she doing? Anya, look out the door."

"Xander, just shut up."

"Ahn, honey -"

"Just, just don't say anything. You all told me about Willow and Spike and I believed you, I trusted you to tell me the truth. But Bob says different, and I trust him."


"Bob? You used to be called something very different, am I right? I'm Anyanka."

"Anyanka, my dear, you're looking lovely in human form. Are you happy that way? It's not painful, is it?"

"Yes, Bob, sometimes it is. Like right now, it's very painful - inside. I'm so confused."

"Don't worry, Anyanka, you're very intelligent, I'm sure you'll figure it all out."


"Dawn, move please?"

"Buffy, I'm not letting you near Spike. You'll - you'll just - what's that? Buffy stop!"

"Slayer's blood, it'll help Spike, It's not as good as sire's blood, but almost."


"Mom, I have to do this. I have to, for Willow."

"I was just going to tell you to be careful and I'll go get you some juice. Or better - Xander, why don't you go get Buffy some orange juice?"

"Huh? Sure, Mrs. Summers."

'I never would have believed it. The bubble headed slayer is using her heart instead of what passes for her mind. She's helping my Willow's vampire. It must be a first. A slayer saving the life of a vampire.'

"BUFFY! What are you doing, GET AWAY FROM HIM!"

"And you must be Angelus."

"What the hell?"

"Angel, the light. Do you see the orange light? That's Bob, he's an air spirit. He's been a rather good friend to Willow and Spike, I gather."

"Buffy? Get away from him! What are you doing?"

"She's experiencing compassion Angelus, something I'd think a vampire with a soul would be able to understand."

"Compassion? For Spike? He tried to kill Willow!"

"No, Angelus, he didn't, which I already explained to you on the phone."

"It's Angel, not Angelus."

"I think I'd know that better than you, Angelus."

"What is this thing and what the hell is he talking about?"

"I told you, he's an air spirit, but I confess I have no idea what he means about knowing who you are."

"Yeah, Giles, air spirit, I got that. Why is he here again?"

"Hells bells, you're stupid. I will speak very slowly, Vampire, so pay attention. I befriended Willow and Spike while I was in Sunnydale a while ago. They helped me with a little problem that I had, and in the process they fell in love. Or rather, they admitted that they already loved each other. They came to Chicago to visit me because some clod would not accept Spike's obvious love for my Willow - ah, here's the clod now. Xander, sit down and shut up, I'm explaining to Angelus. Good boy. Now, Angelus, the reason I say I know what you are better than you do is because, while I currently work for the wizard, Harry Dresden, I have in fact been around for over four hundred years, which Anyanka here can attest to if you don't believe me. I was once in service to a Romany witch, who's granddaughter you felt it necessary to eat. They demanded retribution. They came to me. I've always been rather proud of that perfect happiness aka damn fine sex loophole. Your demon could have broken free almost immediately, but you were too miserable to even try to cheer yourself up."

"You - you - you - you're the one. The one who cursed me?"

"Well, no, I didn't do the actual cursing, I just came up with the spell."

"But it's because of you that I have my soul?"


"I don't know - I don't know what to say."

'He's pathetic! Scourge of Europe, my Aunt Fanny! Doesn't see anything, just like the rest of them. Maybe I should point it out to him.'

"What you should say, Angel, is that your struggle to distance Angel from Angelus makes you understand the conflict that Spike is going through now.

"What you should say, Angel, is that you will help Spike get through this and get past it, so that he and Willow can be happy like they deserve to be.

"What you should say, Angel, is that even though Spike will probably beg you to stake him later, he even offered to bring the stake, you will instead show him the compassion that even the slayer, the VAMPIRE Slayer, has managed to understand that he is worthy of.

"What you should say, Angelus, is 'Buffy, get out of my way, that's my childe and I will take care of him because he needs his sire's blood to heal'!

"If you're not going to say even one of those things, Angel, than get the hell out of the room, go back to brooding in LA and never come near my Willow or my Spike again or I will hunt you down and make the curse you have now look like a case of the sniffles!"

"Angel? Angel, where are you -"

"Leave him alone, Buffy. He'll either be back or he won't, but Spike needs you now."

"I know, Mom. I just wish I could help him."

"He has to figure this out for himself, Buffy. Take care of Spike."

"I'm trying, but he won't drink…"

'Oh, what now? Harry?'

"Harry? What are you doing here?"

"Harry? Harry Dresden?"

"Um, yes. I'm Harry Dresden."

SLAP! 'Nice one Joyce!'

"That's for Willow!"

SLAP! SLAP! 'Like mother, like daughter.'

"And that's for Spike! Now get your sorry butt away from Spike before I - Giles! Giles, let go of me! I want to -"

"Dawn, I think we're all aware of what you would like to do, but I don't think that would be wise right now. I think maybe Harry should explain himself."


"What? He can explain himself when he wakes up."

There may be hope for the slayer yet…

Part 15
Bob's POV

'I thought they'd never leave. My Willow's never going to get the rest she needs with those people rumbling around. Not that they aren't nice people, they kind of grow on you, but hell's bells, they're noisy. I'm rather proud of the slayer for trying to get Spike to take her blood, even if he wouldn't do it. If he withers away before my Willow gets better, she'll kill me, I just -'

'What's this?'




'It's about time!'

"William, you'd better answer me or you're going to find out exactly how much of Angelus is still in here. Bob, I know you're here. Come on out."

"Yes, Angelus?"

"When's the last time he fed?"

"You're looking at her."

"He hasn't eaten at all since he bit Willow? Great, just great. Will, you always were a romantic fool. She loves you and you know it and if you look like this when she gets well, she'll have a fit. You have to feed. Do it for Willow."

"I almost killed her."

'He speaks! Finally.'

"It wasn't your fault, Will."

"Then why are you here? You came to turn me to dust. Go on then, I won't stop you, but let me see that she's well first."

"Will, I'm not going to stake you. For one thing, Willow would stake me if I did. If Buffy didn't get to me first. Or Dawn, or Joyce, or Giles. Anya would probably beg D'Hoffryn for her powers back so she could eviscerate me."

"What are you going on about, you poofter?"

"Nobody blames you, Will. Everyone knows that it's that 'Harry' guy's fault. And from the looks of things when they left here, I think they've forgiven him, too. I was down the hall but I heard them talking about vampires being sent to kill him. Vampires who look remarkably like you, bleach and all, that's why he panicked. He's going to have a helluva bruise on his jaw for a while though."


"Buffy hit him. Knocked him unconscious."

"Still hitting first and asking questions later, is she?"

"Will, she hit him for you. For what he did to you."

'Okay… a vampire looking incredulous, I don't think I've ever seen that before.'

"If you say so."

'Spike, snap out of it! This boy is so far gone, even my jiggles don't work on him anymore. Angelus better start taking care of his childe soon, or I'm gonna jiggle him until that hair falls flat! He heh, bet he'd hate that.'

"Sire, I'm tired. Just tell me what you want to tell me, then leave."

"I'm here to help you, William. I'm here to help you get well. You look like shit and when Willow wakes up tomorrow, she's not gonna be happy seeing you like this."

"Wakes up? How do you know she's going to wake up? Did she wake up and I missed it? How is she? What did the doc say?"

"Calm down, Will. Listen. If you were in a better state, you'd be able to hear her heart beating nice and strong. Her blood's flowing steadily now, she'll be awake by tomorrow. Still weak, but awake."

'He can stand, too! I'm amazed.' "Willow? Willow, Love, can you hear me? I'm so sorry, Baby. I didn't know, I swear I didn't. I would never hurt you, never. I should have fought it, I should have realized… but I didn't. I failed you, Love, and it made me realize how bad this is for you. I'm bad for you. I could hurt you, I could… I could kill you, Willow. If I had a soul, if I had a conscious, it'd be different, but as it is, I don't know any better, Pet. I can't take that chance, I won't take that chance, not with your life. You need somebody who won't hurt you, Baby, somebody who can take care of you. Somebody real, somebody human. I want you to die of old age, not because I went nuts or was under a spell. Please, Baby, when you wake up, I want you to understand. It's not that I didn't love you, it's that I'm no good for you."


"Angelus, where is he going? Go after him!"

"He needs some time, Bob. William always liked to think things through. He just never had the patience to wait for the right time."

"You'd better be right, Angelus."

"Bob, it's Angel."

"No, we're both wrong. It's Poofter."

"Where is he?"

"I told you, Poofter! I told you that you should follow him, but would you listen? No. Had to be the all-knowing master vampire, who, it turns out, doesn't know his dick from a stick of dynamite. Stay here, look after her, I'm going to find my Spike."

Part 16
Bob's POV

'Where oh where has my little Spike gone? Stop it! Now is not the time for songs, it's just a defense mechanism because you're afraid you won't find him. You're afraid you're going to find a pile of…'


"Yeah, mate."

"What are you doing?"

"Having a smoke."


"Just passing the time."

"Passing the time?"

"Yeah, passing the time! Leave me alone."

"You haven't fed in almost five days, you look like - pardon the pun - death warmed over, and you're having a smoke to PASS THE TIME!?"

"Bob, go stay with Willow. Watch over her. Joyce'll take care of her when it's time for her to go home. Just - just go. Go back to Harry, go find your skull, go jiggle some nurses, I right don't care, just go."

Angel's POV

"Did you find him?"

"He's outside 'having a smoke'."


"Yes, did I stutter? Outside. Sitting on the grass, that's the green stuff that grows out of the ground out there, and he's smoking a rather foul smelling cigarette."

Great! He's going to dust himself. How the hell do I get out of - there, the exit. Now where? Should have asked - Where is he? This way. There's my Will.

"Will - Spike! Get your undead ass back inside!"

"You aren't my master anymore, Angel."

"Will, you are mine, you belong to me and I order you to get back in that hospital!"



"What's it to you, mate?"

"Will, don't start with me. Sunrise is less than five minutes away as you very well know and you'll either walk in there or I'll carry you, I'm not picky about which one right now."

"WHY, ANGELUS? WHY? Why do you care - now? You've tried to kill me yourself several hundred times, you've tortured me, raped me, tried to make me beg for the stake. Well, here I am, ready and willing to give you what you've been longing for for one hundred and twenty-six years. Are you mad because you don't get to do it yourself? Fine. I'm standing here. Rip out my throat, tear off my head. Here's my lighter, set me on fire. You do it, you end my days, I know you want to. Fuck it, Angelus, KILL ME!"


'Great, now I have to carry him. But at least I can stand to be around him when he's unconscious. Where am I going to take him? Someplace dark, somewhere he can't open the curtains and dust himself. The basement, I guess. How am I going to get him to drink? I'm the last person he wants to see, let alone drink from. Will hasn't drunk from me for over a century, but he has to now, whether he likes it or not. Whether I like it or not.'

'Here's as good a place as any. At least it's warm in here. Boiler rooms - a vampire's Motel 6. Ugh. Why am I saving his life again? Oh, yeah, Willow. Not for Spike, for Willow. Doing it for Spike would be bad, wouldn't it? Willow. She once gave me back my life, now I've got to do the same for her. And then, well, it's Spike…'

Spike's POV

'What the fuck? Where am I? Where's Red?'


"It's me, Spike."

"Peaches? What the hell are you doin' here? Where's Red? Is she -?"

"She's fine. She will be fine. You've got to eat something so you can go see her."

"Why can't I - Oh. Why'd you stop me? Why didn't you just let me die? Angelus, you know it's the right thing to do. Just let me go -"

"No, William, no. You're staying here and you're going to drink and you're going to get strong and then you are going back upstairs to the woman who loves you so much she was willing to die for you. If you think I'm going to let you repay her by dusting yourself, you don't know me as well as you think you do."

"Angel, I don't know you at all. I know Angelus, and Angelus would have staked me just for shits and giggles."

"No, William. Angel might have wanted to stake you, but Angelus? Never."


"This isn't something I want to get into now - maybe not ever. Just listen to me. Willow loves you. And you love her - more than I ever would have thought you could. If I'm willing to admit that, you should at least be willing to drink. Willow needs you, Spike. More important, she wants you. I'm going to make sure Willow gets what she wants. Now drink."

"Was I hallucinating, or was that the slayer trying to give me her blood before?"

"You weren't seeing things. Nor are you now. Drink, Spike. Sire's blood, good for what ails ya."

'Did Angel just - nah, he couldn't have.'


"Spike, if you don't get your fangs in my neck in three seconds, I'm going to knock you unconscious again."

Gods below, I never thought this would happen again. My sire's blood, it's like… oh, no, he's moaning. I don't care how good this feels, I am not sucking that wanker off when I'm done. If he has a problem he can take care of it himself. And I guess that means I'll have to take care of my problem by myself. Damn, this plan sucks - bad choice of words.

"Spike. Spike, stop."

"Sorry, got carried away. S'been a while."


"Stop looking at me with those big brown eyes, Soulboy. I'm not going down on you, no matter what you used to be to me."

"I didn't -"

"Yes, you did."

"Just for a minute."

"Forget it. I'm going upstairs, you coming?"

"Give me a minute, William. Go ahead, I'll see you up there."


"Like you're not?"

'He's got a point.'

"Thanks, Angelus. I'll see ya later."

Part 17
Spike's POV

She's beautiful. Beautiful and human and fragile and I don't deserve 'er for a second. I should just -


"Willow? Oh, Red, you're all right. I was so worried, I thought I'd killed you. Don't you ever do that again, don't you ever take a chance like that again, you can't-"


"Yeah, Red."

"Shut up and kiss me."

"Anything for you, Love."


"Buffy? Xander! Giles! Dawnie! Mrs. Summers! Oh, guys, why are you here? I'm fine, really. And it wasn't Spike's fault, Buffy, don't hurt him, I did it! It was all me! He didn't -"

"I know, Willow. I know. Your friend Bob set us straight."


"It's okay, Wills. And I'm sorry, I really am. I'm sorry for not believing in you. I should have trusted you. I want you to meet someone. This is Anya. Do you remember her from school? She went to high school with us for a little while."

"No, I'm sorry, I don't remember you, maybe I'm still a little groggy - oh, wait, you're the girl Xander took to the prom."

"Yes. That's me."

"Aren't you a -"

"Not anymore. I was a vengeance demon, but not anymore, thanks to Giles."


"I'll explain it later, Wills. Just, I want you to know - I was stupid. I should have trusted you before. But I didn't know then, I didn't think demons could change. But Anya showed me just how wrong I was. I know I can never take back what I said, I know that, but I do apologize."

"I'm not the one you owe the apology to."

"I knew you were going to say that. Spike, I'm sorry. You've worked with us, I still don't know why, but you helped us and you had no reason to, and I should have given you more credit. I'm sorry."

The whelp just apologized to me? Now I've seen everything. Is the world gonna end?

"S'okay. But just so you know, I had a very good reason for coming back to Sunnydale and helping the slayer."

"What was it, William?"

Oh, great, the poof decides to show up just as I'm about to make a fool of myself. Should have predicted that.

"Why does any man change his ways? I fell in love with a girl. I spent a year trying to drink her out of my system and when I couldn't, I came back. I figured I never had a chance, but if I turned white hat, at least I could be around her. Watched her with the wolf, downed pig's blood, drank myself to sleep and pretended I didn't care. But I couldn't leave."

"I told you!"

"What, Dawnie?"

"I told them, Willow. I told them all, when Spike started helping Buffy. I told them he was in love with you, but they didn't believe me. Well, Mom did, but they rest of them pretended they hadn't heard me."

"You always were the smart one, Bit. Well, next to my Red."

"Come on everybody, let's let Willow rest. We'll see her tomorrow. Say goodbye."


"Buffy, Willow needs to rest. And I think she needs some time alone - or, alone with Spike. March, now."

"Yes, Mom."

Part 18
Spike's POV

"Are you sure you'll be all right?"

If I can stand the mess, I'll be fine.

"Yes, Harry, thanks. Spike'll take real good care of me."

At least there's clean sheets on the bed.

"Okay, but here's my number at the office in case you need anything. I'll probably be there all day, Maybe I'll go to Mac's for lunch. It's cold in here. Come lie down on the couch. I'll make a fire for you."

Oh, good. This room's a little better. Okay, not really.

"Harry, I'm fine! I just need some sleep. Go to work. Spike and I will manage. If we need anything, we'll ask Bob."

And maybe hire a maid.

"All right. Take care. I'll be back around six, if nothing comes up."


Hm? Where -? Oh, Harry's apartment, that's right.


"Right here, Love. Can I get you anything?"

"Spike, I'm fine, stop trying to wait on me hand and foot. What time is it?"

"A little after three."

"I slept all day!? Spike, why didn't you wake me up?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?"

Stop smirking, I don't think I have the strength to follow through on that…

"It's just- I wanted to clean up a little, to thank Harry. Well, and because this place is such a mes… Where's the mess?"

"Well, I had to do something while you were asleep. And Bob helped. Told me where everything goes. Had to throw out a couple of plates and a few forks out though. Even vamp strength couldn't get them clean. You slept right through the vacuum cleaner. You should be resting, doc said so."

"But now I don't have anything to do…"

"Well, let's see if I can't find some way to keep you busy."

I love that smile. Oooh, and those lips.

"I was so afraid, Red. I thought I'd killed you."

"Spike, stop it. I'm a big girl, I knew what I was doing. If anything had happened, it would have been my fault - or Harry's, not yours. Now get back to what you were doing."

Oh, that feels so - What is that?

"Spike? Are you crying? Vampires don't cry, do they? Why are you crying?"

"Red, I can't. When I think about what I could do-"

"Spike? Spike, look at me. Do you love me?"

"Yes! Gods, yes."

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course."

"How much?"

"What kind of question is that? I'd trust you with-"

"But I'm a witch, Spike. A powerful witch. Who, by the way, has not yet learned to control the magicks. Would you let me do a spell on you?"

"Of course, anything."

"But what if I hurt you, what if I turned you green or turned you human or accidentally set your shirt on fire?"

"Red, you'd never-"

"What if I did?"

"We'd deal with it, pet, we'd figure it out. Okay, I'm a little flammable, but we'd put the fire out, I'd heal, no biggie. What's this all about? You want to turn me human? Can you even do that?"

"No, Spike. I don't want you to be human. I want you to be exactly who you are. And I trust you too. I trust you not to turn me green, or turn me at all, or set me on fire. I trust you, I love you, and I'm not going anywhere - and neither are you. You told me once that I was your home. Were you lying to me?"

"No! How could you even say-"

"Spike, you're my home too. When you're not with me, its like I'm lost. I never realized how lost I was until I met you. If you left me, Spike, I couldn't make it, I know I couldn't. Good, evil or somewhere in between - which is my personal preference, incidentally - I love you, I'm not giving you up, I'm not letting you go. And the next time you decide to sit and watch a sunrise, I want you to know that you'll be taking me with you. Your last sunrise is my last sunrise. One way or another I'll make sure I'm not around for the next one."

"Love, don't say that! Don't ever say that. You - you're everything, Baby. And I'm not worth it."

"That's where you're wrong, don't you see?. To me, you're worth it. To me - you're the one who's everything."

Finally, a smile.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"I don't know, but it must have been some kind of wonderful debauchery."

"Wench! Lay back and let me show you just how debauched I can be."

Mmm, that's better. Oh, wow. Right there. No, lower, ooooh yeahhhhhh. Mmm, I didn't need that top anyway. Oh, feels sooo good. Umn, more, bite - yeah, oh, bite harder. Yes, drink me, goddess, I love that face.

My demon. Gives new meaning to personal demons. Oh, lower. Mmm, yes, tickles, he he, over, other way, what? I can do that, and I wasn't even a gymnast.

"Pet, let me take these off, I think its your last pair, I don't want to rip them."



"Tear them off. Use your fangs."

Oh, yeaaaaaaaaaaaah. Mine, only mine. Forever. AAAH! Oh, goddess, so amazing what he can do with his tongue. Oh yeah, and the teeth. Is he moaning? Oh, goddess. The man is eating me and he's moaning! Ego going right through the roof here!

"You taste like heaven, Love. I missed this. I remember the elevator, and gods, I thought you were a vampire's aphrodisiac. I didn't know then that I'd get to have you forever."

Oh - oh - oh - goddess…

"SPIKE! Oh, goddess, Spike, don't, don't, don't -"

"Never stopping, Love."

"Oooh, oh, right there - right! Goddess! Spike, I'm - I'm - I'm - Aaaaaaaaaah!"


"Forever, Spike. Come up here and let me return the favor."

"No, Love, go to sleep. You need your rest."

"But I want -"

"I want too, Love, like you couldn't believe, I want. But not now. We have time. Later. Go to sleep."

But I'm not ti-


Part 19

"Will, are you sure you won't come back with us?"

"I'm sure, Buffy. I'm with Spike, always and forever, where he goes, I go."

"Are you coming back to Sunnydale, Wills? I'm so sorry about what I said before. If I could take it back-"

"It's okay, Xan. Yes, we'll be back. But not right away. I've got the whole summer off and I think maybe I'd like to travel a little. Spend some alone time with Spike. You know, just one demon instead of nests of them."

"Oh, Willow, you are so lucky!"

"Thanks, Dawnie and no, you can't come with, so don't even ask."

"I'd never - well, okay, it did cross my mind, but even I understand what you… I mean, what you and Sp- I mean, um, what do I mean?"

::giggle:: "Thanks, Dawnie. Bye, guys. We'll see you all some time in August, okay?"

"Willow, please take care. And call me often, collect if need be, I'd feel better knowing you were all right. Spike has proven himself, yes, but still, I'm worried about you being alone for so long. What if you happen upon another wizard?"

"Giles, you know how unlikely that is, right? But anyway, I won't be completely alone with him…"


"Bob's coming with us. I guilted Harry into it last night. And we have to get a cell phone so that Harry can reach Bob if he needs him, so I won't have to call collect, Giles."

"Oh, Wills, that's great! What's the number?"

"No way, Buffy. I want to be alone with Spike. Not alone with Spike while you're gabbing my ear off on the phone, you know how we get when we start talking! And Giles, don't you dare get caller ID this summer. I'll never get any peace if Buffy gets a hold of that number."

"I promise, Willow. Have a good journey."

"Bye guys!"

"Bye… see ya later… goodbye… take care…"

"So Love, where to first?"

"Wait, vampire, we need to stop at the store first."

"Another list, Bob? I can't wait!"

"Yes, my Willow, another list."

"Bob, if I didn't know ya so well, mate, I'd question some of this stuff, but since I do know ya, all I can say is - thanks."

"You're welcome, Spike."

"Bob? How did you get all this stuff while I was in the ladies room?"

"Vampire speed, Love. Quick as a wink. No problems."

"Bob, I really hate to ask - but I have to. What is all this stuff?"

"Well, my Willow, we've got a tent; three bags of feathers; bungee cord; six yards of emerald silk - perfect for your complexion; cufflinks; rubber bands; a black Speedo - one size too small; paper clips; Baby oil; raspberry jam; a hockey stick; seventeen feet of black satin braid; a 48 inch curtain rod; thirteen bottles of bubble bath - assorted scents and not just for bathing anymore; a muffin tin; fourteen dozen candles; a Mag-lite - extra large; several hundred balloons and four tanks of helium; a blindfold, of course; a case of Orange Blossom honey; a twenty-six gallon green plastic garbage can; a rubber plant…

The End