The Wild Thing


pairing: Spike/Willow/Bob
rating: Mature Adults
time frame: during s6's Where the Wild Things Are
crossover with The Dresden Files
disclaimer: Bob is the creation of Jim Butcher
written for Erin
summary: A lusty magical air spirit comes to Sunnydale and wreaks some havoc
author's note: Spike has no chip but is helping the Scoobies for reasons of his own

click to see the fan art created for this story


Chapter 1
Orgy Central, Part 2

Willow's POV

What is going on around here? Two days ago, Riley's frat house turns into Orgy Central. Buffy and Riley do the Horizontal Mambo for something like nine hours straight. Almost everyone else at that party got some in one form or another, myself being the glaringly obvious exception.

And what was that business with everyone groping the
wall? It was a wall for goodness sake and everyone acting like invisible elves were giving them the greatest oral sex of their lives. Maybe I should have checked that one out for myself. Hmm.

no, I couldn't just go with it, couldn't have just given myself over to it like everyone else and had myself some mind-blowing sex. No. "Old Reliable" Willow had to decide something was wrong and go get Giles and rid the place of the thing that had given everybody in the place a happy but me. Why couldn't I have gotten my happy first and then gone and got Giles? Hindsight, what a bitca.

And now, two days after the 'I-didn't-get-any-once-again' fiasco, it's started again. What has gotten into everyone and why won't it jump into me? Sorry, back on track. Either all of UC Sunnydale has gotten a
massive case of Spring Fever or somebody put something in the water. Get a room people! All of you. Well, separate rooms, I guess, but I don't think Sunnydale has this many motels.

What is going on? I know that girl, she's in my PoliSci class and she's so unbelievably bashful she won't even hand in her papers until the
instructor has left the room. I didn't think it was possible to do that while still fully clothed. And how did she bend herself into that position? Maybe if I lean this way I can see"¦

Focus, Willow! Something is up. This just isn't natural, even for a Hellmouth. Maybe I'd better go get Giles.

"Old Reliable" strikes again.

"Giles! Open up, Giles!" Darn, where is he? That big red pecker of a sports car is out front, so he must be here. He never walks. Maybe he's got the stereo up too loud. Or he's in the shower.

"Giles!" Ow, hurts when you bang too hard.

"I'm here, I'm here."

Yep, shower. "Something's up, Gi- Olivia- um -hi. I didn't know you were coming back so soon. And so unclothed. Nice towel, maybe I'd better come back later. See ya, I'll be back in an hour with Xander."

He doesn't look happy.

"Make that two hours."

OW! Geez, the expression don't let the door hit you in the heiney on your way out is just an that - an expression. It wasn't meant to be taken literally. Watch it, Giles. Geez.

Where to? Not Xander's. Although, at least with him and Anya, I would know it wasn't a spell, they go at it all the time. Where, where? Find Buffy? No, she went over to Riley's this morning, don't need that visual. I know, go to the 'rents house, get my old spell books. Whew, a place to start that doesn't involve watching people in heat.

Man, why couldn't I have gotten my happy
first? Shoot.

Chapter 2
A Tourist

Spike's POV

Cor, I hate this place. Too much bloody sunshine. Why don't I go back to England where it's nice and gloomy all the time?

Oh, right. Birds wear more clothes when it's cold outside. Damn, why can't they be more like vamps. Temperature doesn't matter. Wear what we want whenever we want. Wear the coat in the middle of July, I do. Heat never bothers me.

Aaarrgh! Too bleedin' bored, that's what it is. Nothin' to do but sit around and wait for the sun to go down. Well, pace around, no point in sittin' unless Passions is on the telly. Got to do something to keep up my youthful figure.

That's it. Sit-ups. Better than nothin'. Gotta do something til sunset.

What was that?! Some little nasty thinks they can squat in my lair, do they? Not bloody likely. Hmm, nothing there.

Wait. Downstairs? There it is again. Gotcha, you're too noisy by half. I'll find you and when I do -

Nothing. Fast bugger. Must have high-tailed it. Guess it's back to sit-ups.

That skull, I didn't move that skull. They were all over there by the ladder just like they've been since I moved into this crypt. Wanker thinks he can invade my lair and then move my stuff?! If I ever catch him, he'll be dust.

Ow. Hey, skulls aren't supposed to be warm.

"Who's in there?"

"Who wants to know?"

"I asked you first."

Skulls aren't supposed to light up like that either!

"I asked you second."

"Look you little puissant, you're in my bloody home and you'll tell me who you are right this bleedin' second!"


Bob? A demon named Bob? Oi, that's rich.

"Well, Bob, that skull you've decided to inhabit happens to be my property and I'll thank you to vacate it immediately."


"Whaddaya mean, NO?! Get the hell out of my skull you great git!"

"It's not your skull, vampire. Your skull is sitting firmly atop your body, which you can locate quite easily if you just reach your hands up to that great empty bone located over your neck. This is my skull."

"Hey, get back here. Fine! You may borrow my skull - for the time being. What are you anyway?"

"I am an air spirit, vampire, don't you know anything? And I thought vampires were supposed to be reasonably intelligent. Wait'll I tell Harry about you. He won't believe me."

"Harry, who's Harry?"

"Harry is my wizard."

"Harry is your wizard?"

"Yes, Harry is my wizard. Is there an echo in here?"

"Harry who?"

"No, vampire. I'm not giving myself away that easily. I worked hard to get myself this little vacation and I'm not going home just yet. I'm having way too much fun."

An air spirit? And a wizard named Harry? Wait an unholy minute-

"Are you pullin' my leg? The only wizard named Harry that I've ever heard of is in that silly book Red was readin'. Some children's book. A fictional children's book. Don't tell me you're from some soddin' dimension where books are real?"

"No, you moron, not Harry Potter. Lord, I miss the good old days. One word from me and poof, no more idiot. Now it's all rules and laws and no love potions on unsuspecting reporters. Listen to me, vampire, I'm not fictional. I'm from Chicago. I'm out for two blissful weeks and I intend to rest in this skull until I feel like venturing out again. Now go bite someone."


"What did you say, vampire?"

"Spike, my name is Spike. If you're going to be my roommate for two soddin' weeks at least call me by my name."


Chapter 3
Time for A Little Fun

Bob's POV

Lots of sunshine, this makes a nice change. Winter in Chicago is just so dreadful. Spring isn't much better, too wet. Not that I get to see any of it being stuck in that lab.

Ah, two whole weeks. Shame I have to live vicariously through humans. What a waste of a functional moving body human beings are. Being an air spirit leaves no room at all for physical pleasure. Shame, I would have been so good at it too. Casanova, my ass. He had no imagination what-so-ever.

So, I have to get my pleasures in whatever form I can find them. And I'm insatiable. I can go forever. But, humans have limitations, so I just have to move from one to the next to the next.

I wonder if the women I seduce through these mere mortals miss me when I'm gone. I mean, please, it's *not* as if they got anywhere near the pleasure - from a simple human - that I gave them while I was orchestrating one of
my trysts. What I wouldn't give for a penis. Ah, well.

I promised Harry no more hanky-panky in Illinois after the fun I had at Loyola made the papers. I suppose it's a good thing when world news is so slow that a little college orgy makes the front page.

Okay, I'm being modest. It was a big orgy. A
very big orgy. Lasted for days, they kept at it even after I left. I am good.

So, a nice trip to sunny California. A Hellmouth. I've only ever seen one Hellmouth before but that was over 150 years ago. The wizard I was with then never wanted to let me out. Man, am I glad he's dead.

The people here are just ripe for a little fun. Didn't bat an eye when I warmed up the other night at that fraternity house. And I wasn't even trying then.

Cupid's got nothing on
me. I would have made an excellent god.

Bob, god of love, has a nice ring, don't you think?

Well, must rest. My little jaunt this morning -well, last night and this morning- has worn out the fragile humans. I find it helps to meditate while the humans are tired. Gives me a faster startup later on. So little time, so many humans to please.

I do hope this vampire won't be a bore.

Chapter 4
What's Wrong With This Picture?

a/n: pay attention, POVs switch in this chapter

Willow's POV

I have a new mantra. 'What's wrong with this picture?'

It's evening. The sun has set. The commons of UC Sunnydale are deserted. Absolutely deserted. Not a single solitary person, save me.

Why you ask?

Great, now I'm asking myself questions. Will I answer myself?

I guess I will, no one else here to care.

Ahem. Why you ask? Because every student, teacher and facilitator within a mile of Sunnydale is inside"¦

What was that?! Oh.

Inside, or in the bushes, doing the nasty with the person or people of their choice.

What's wrong with
me? Why hasn't this thing hit me yet?

That's it. I can't take this anymore. This is the last circuit and then I'm going home. Not the dorm, way too much visual and auditory stimulation there. Going to my parents' house. Wonder if they're there? Who cares, kinda hope they're not.

I hope I can remember where I hid that vibrator.

"Sorry, I wasn't -"

"Hey, watch where you're goin'!"

"Spike? Spike, what are you doing here? There's no one here, they're all inside, um"¦"

"Yeah, I noticed that, Pet. What the bleedin' hell is goin' on in this town? Only humans I run into, few that there are, are naked and pantin'. Vamps too. You should see the cemetery. Freakin' orgy goin' on there. Petersen plot, ya know that big monument in the middle of Heavenly Slumbers Cemetary, looks like Times Square on New Year's Eve."

"I - I - I, uh, kinda noticed something like that here too. Only less out in the open, 'cause you know, people, not so much with the - uh - openness."

I hope my face is not red as I think it is. It couldn't possibly be as red as I think it is or I would have spontaneously combusted by now. This is Spike, he is not, I repeat NOT interested in me in any way at all, so get my mind out of his pants - off of his pants! Maybe this thing is starting to effect me.

Spikes' POV

"Hey, Red, how come you're out here? Why aren't you inside somewhere gettin' all hot and bothered and naked and wrigglin'"¦"

Breath, Spike, breath. Oh, yeah, don't have to. Concentrate! Not on Red, you ponce! Where's the little spirit bugger? He's what I came for.

"Never mind. You seen an air spirit by any chance?"

"A what?"

"An air spirit, an' don't look at me like that. I don't know exactly what he is, but the blighter's a right lot of trouble I can tell ya that. Been chasin' 'im since a little after sunset. Soon as he left my crypt, 'bout a dozen birds showed up tryin' to rip me clothes off and I just know that little bugger had somethin' to do with it!"

"Women? Came to your crypt? And tried to - to - to - "

"Yes! Well-"

Uh, oh. What to do? Oh, yeah - lie.

"Would've been right fun 'cept - oh, who am I kiddin'. It was fun, haven't done that in, erm, well-"

I never was a good liar. Oh gods below, she looks like she's gonna cry.

"Look, Red. Help me find this little thing, 'kay? Pretty sure he's the one behind all this. Isn't that the kind of thing you bloody Scoobies do? Save the world from wicked little sex fairies?"

Good, a smile. Wow. She's right beautiful when she smiles. Whole face just glows. Look at those eyes, never noticed before they were green. Maybe just one little"¦NO!


Willow's POV

Did Spike just try to kiss me?

Chapter 5

Spike's POV

"That's it. That's all I know. Bob, air spirit, two weeks, some bloke named Harry, commandeering one of my skulls. What are we gonna do?"

"How should I know? I'm research girl, I have to research."

"Let's get started then."

"All my stuff's at Giles'."

"Let's go."

"Um, Giles' is kinda busy."

"Not him too?"

Then again, I'm kinda impressed, didn't think he had it in 'im. One up for the librarian. Lit'rally.

"Where to then?"

"I looked through all the books I had at home and I don't remember seeing anything on spirits that cast love spells."

"I don't think he does normally. Seems to work for this Harry wizard, thinkin' up potions and such from what he was blubberin' on about this mornin'. Think maybe all this is just his hobby."

"Oh, great. A disembodied miniature psuedo-baddie who's good normally but gets his jollies making every available human get all lusty."

"Don't forget vamps."

"Right. And vamps. Wait a minute. How come you're not - I know you were, what with the dozen women and everything, but why'd you stop? Why aren't you still there? Nobody else is coming up for air."


"Don't know. Didn't really think about it. I mean, what do you do? Birds show up wantin' ta fu- you know, you just get on with it. Had my fun, finished, left."

"You got up and left? You could still - after all that - aren't you tired? Do you want to sit down? Don't smile at me like that, I haven't had any experience with vampire, um, endurance. I don't know what you can do."

Now why didn't I think of that. That's an easy fix.

"I can go all night, Luv. And all day. Anytime you want first hand experience with vampire, um, endurance, you let me know, I'd be glad to help you research."

Oh look, Red's all red. She's gettin' all hot and bothered. Bloody fuck. She's gettin' me all hot and bothered.


Hot. This girl's so bloody hot. Hot skin, hot mouth, hot body. Cor, she feels so good. What am I doing? The slayer's gonna stake me. Stop touching the girl. Stop! Get your hands off! Now!

Hot. Hot face, hot neck, body, waist, hips, thighs. She doesn't weigh hardly anything. Where to go? Crypt? No, too far. Dorm?


"Hmm"¦? Don't stop touching me, Spike. Please don't stop touching me."

"Where's your room?"

"Room? Oh, left, go left. Other left."

"Can't wait, Red. In here, nobody's in here. How do you get this off? Never mind."

They don't make knickers like they used to. Thank Hell.

"Red, undo my, yeah, that's it. How's that? You like that, baby?"


"Spike, please, harder, right there, oh yeah, love this, touching you, need you, need this, oooohhhhh"

"Come on, pet, that's it. So wet, so tight, so good. Fuck! Aaaahhhhh!"

Amazing. Bloody amazing.

"More, luv. Let's find a nice quiet place. I need more. I need more of you."

One little girl. Must be the spell. No. One amazing woman. Who would have thought? Please say yes.


Chapter 6
Eight for Me

Willow's POV

I hope Buffy doesn't come back soon. Yes, right there.

"You like that, baby?"

Oh goddess, yes. Now I know what everyone's been so crazy about.

"You want more of that?"

Unbelievable. Oh, ow, yeah, hurts so good, right there.

"Red, hold on, just gonna flip ya a little."


"Knew you'd like it that way, luv."

How does he DO that? He's been going at this for - what's time? I'm counting orgasms, not minutes. At least eight of mine and three of his. And that's after the - no don't think about them"¦

"Stay with me, Red. Come on, you can make it. One more time. If I can, you can."

And oh, can he. First in the vestibule of - something - I wasn't really paying attention. Then in the shower. I can't believe I had sex in the girls' shower in Stephenson Hall! Oh, bad Willow. Now in mine and Buffy's room.

"Move your leg over here, Pet."

Mmm, I didn't know I went that far in. He's going to be popping out the top soon! Wouldn't that be nice? Oh, right there. YES! OH YES!

"Look at me, luv. Open your eyes."

Love to.

"Look at me. It's Spike. Don't forget who you're with. That little spirit thing might have us under some spell, but when this is done, I want you to remember it. I want you to remember how you felt and who made you feel it. You got that, Red?"

"Mmm Spike, I won't forget. Never ever, ever forget."

"You okay, Pet? Your eyes look a little funny. You gettin' enough oxygen?"

"Stop laughing at me. Oh yeah, I'm fine. Very fine."

"That you are, Red. That you are."

Huh? Where're we going?

"You want me to get up, Spike? Now? I don't think I can move yet."

"We've got to get out of here, Luv. Slayer's going to be back eventually, and I don't fancy being a big pile of dust by morning."

Oh. Okay.

"Where do you want to go?"

I'll follow you anywhere. Gotta love this spell.

"My crypt, I guess, those birds should be gone by now."

Chapter 7
A Little Respite

Bob's POV

Just the way I like it. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead. Oh, to have a real, working body and all five senses, just for one night.

Back to business. Where's that little redhead? I promised myself I'd have her yet. She's resisted me so far. I hit her first thing at that party the other night, but no. Nothing, not one little nibble. I would have got her earlier tonight if I hadn't been distracted by those three lovelies I saw going at it through the window. Even a saint couldn't have resisted that and I'm no saint.

Where did she go? I jiggled her a couple of times while she was walking around earlier but no dice. I saw the gears going in her head though, she was thinking about it. I want that one all to myself.

Just her, a few toys, and me, jiggling around in her brain - and other places.

I hope that vampire made out all right. He was rather nice, letting me camp out in his skull. I know he liked my presents, all twelve of them. Who wouldn't? Hope he didn't strain something. Some vampires I've met, five - six women tops, then they had to start drinking them just to keep up their strength. But he looked virile enough. I don't know, maybe twelve was too many. Harry'll kill me if somebody dies because I sent her to a vampire. Maybe I'd better not tell him about Spike. Yes, I think that's best.

Oh, the library. That's a likely place for my redhead. She looked liked she'd enjoy a good book. The Kama Sutra, The Story of O. Note to self: plant a book list in her head.

Here, kitty, kitty.

Sigh. Nothing. All this erotic mysticism must be getting to me. Think I'll go back and crash in the skull for a while. See how my vampire's doing. Probably taking a nap.

Now where was it? I've traveled all over the world and I've never seen a place with more cemeteries. Here it is.

Hmm, impressive, sounds like he's back at it. Wonder how many he's got left? Looks like just the one. Wonder which poor girl had to wait?

HELLO, GORGEOUS! We have a winner!

Chapter 8
Mi Casa Es Su Casa

Spike's POV

All that time I wasted. I've known Red for two whole years now. Why didn't I have the sense to shag her before?

"Mmm, Spike. Oh, that's nice. I can feel every little - "


"Not little as in you little. You big. You very big."

"That's better."

"Little as in it feels like you're touching every nerve, one at a time. Slower is definitely better."

"Like that, do ya, Luv? Like to feel me inside you? Sliding inside, deep inside? Touching you? Caressing you? Close your eyes. Feel me inside. Don't think about anything. Use your senses. Listen to my voice. And the wind. Listen to your heartbeat. Feel your skin. Feel it tingle. Feel the sweat slipping down your breast. Feel my tongue tasting the sweat slipping down your breast. Feel my hands. Can you feel that? One little touch and something in your skin reacts to me and your tits get tight and your beautiful little nipple puckers right up. Do you feel it? Feel my weight on you. Trying to get closer to you. Wanting to be with you, in you, have you surrounding me. Feel your tight little quim capturing me, grabbing me, milking me. That's it, pet. You feel it? Reach for it. Let it take you over. I want you to fall."

And there she goes. Knew I still had it. Hey, what happened? Red?

"Red? You with me, Red? Wake up. Willow?"

"She passed out."


"Who's there?"

"It's me, Bob. Your houseguest. The girl, she passed out. Alas, humans do that sometimes. They can only take so much you know. How long have you been at the poor thing?"

"I don't know. Couple hours, I guess. Maybe you're right. Let 'er sleep a while."

Hope I've got some blood in the frig, I could use a pick-me-up m'self.

"Where ya been? I went looking for you. Tracked you as far as the campus. That's where I ran into Red. Thanks by the way."

"You're welcome. I thought you'd like the buxom dozen."

"Not for them. For Red."

"You're thanking me for her? One - over the twelve I sent you? She was a mistake. You weren't supposed to get her."

"Wanted her for yourself, did ya? And what did you think you were going to do with her? Get her an inflatable date and pretend to make it talk?"

"I have my own ways thank you very much. I am an air spirit. Use your imagination; I'm too much of a gentleman to elaborate. I will admit, however, that I had planned to utilize a few toys."

"Why Bob, you old letch. I'm impressed. But forget it, she's mine."

"I see."

What do you mean, you see?

"You see what exactly?"

"Vampire, you're as plain as day. You can't hide anything from me. How long have you been after the girl?"

That's how much you know, ya poofter.

"Haven't been after her."


"Knew her. Worked with her. Never made a move on her, never even thought about it."


"All right, I thought about it. But didn't. Never would have either if you hadn't put that spell on me."

"I didn't put a spell on you, Vampire."


"Don't do spells, that's Harry's job. I'm a memory spirit, all I do is remember. I do, however, have a certain natural flair when it comes to seduction and the satisfaction of physical pleasure. I don't do spells, I just give people ideas. And a few jiggles in the right places."

"Jiggles, huh?"

"That's what I call them. Harry calls them something completely different that he assures me could have me incarcerated if I had human form."

"I'd have to agree with Harry. So, how long you been giving people ideas?"

"Couple of centuries now. You were exceptionally impressive yourself. How long have you been cultivating your unique talents?"

Not bad, Spike. I think I've just been complimented by a master.

"Thanks. Not nearly as long as you. You should meet Angelus. You two should have a lot in common."

"Angelus? The vampire with a soul?"

"You know him? Should have figured."

"I've never met him, but I was the one that developed his curse. Had to do it on the spur of the moment too. Those Romany were threatening to bury my skull in a volcano if I didn't come up with a more than fitting punishment."

Well, I'll be blowed! The guy that fucked Angelus and he's a guest in my crypt!

"Bob, make yourself at home, stay as long as you like. Mi casa es su casa. Can I get you a drink? Can I get you a girl? Anything you want, you ask your old buddy Spike and it's yours."

"Can I have a turn with the redhead?"

"Anything but that."

Chapter 9
Willow, Meet Bob

Willow's POV

Mmm, Spike, oh yeah, keep doing that. Mmm, that feels so good. How you just touch me inside and no where else. How do you do that?

Wait a minute! How
does he do that? Spike?


What? Where?


Oh, wait. Dreaming. Must have been a dream. No Spike. Just an empty crypt. Wonder where he went. Should I wait here? Should I leave? Maybe he doesn't want me here now that we're done and this is his hit-Willow-over-the-head-with-a-big-ole-hint way of getting me to leave. I should leave. I mean, I'm in Spike's crypt. I'm naked and I'm in Spike's crypt.


Buffy's gonna kill me! Xander's gonna - - ! I don't even want to think what Xander's gonna. It wasn't my fault! It was that love spell. A non-Willow produced love spell I might add. Yeah, I better add that.

Still, Xander's gonna stake Spike! It wasn't his fault either, though. Gotta remember to stress that to Xan. Nobody's fault.

What was that?


"You down there, Spike?"

I didn't know Spike's crypt had a basement. Wonder what's down here?


Cool. A glowy skull thing. Wonder how he gets it to do that? I don't see a place to put batteries or anything.


"Down here."

Oh, good. Stud Muffin's back. Wonder if I can get him back into bed one more time before he figures out the spell wore off.

"Red! Willow?!"

Okay, slightly deaf stud muffin.


"Oh. Hi. Um, how you feelin'?"

He's so cute when he's bashful. Of course, this is the first time I've ever seen him bashful.

"I'm good, Spike. How are you feeling?"

Ahem. Meant to sound a little more confident than that. After all, we just, you know. Lots a times.

"More than good."

Oooh, Spike hugs, I could get to like this. A lot. Forgot how good those hands feel. It's been what - two hours? A girl can forget a thing like that in two hours. NOT!

"Got ya some breakfast. You like bagels?"

"I love bagels."

Wasn't that sweet? See, Buffy's mean to him all the time and he's so sweet. Yes, I know I have select memory. Shut up, orgasms with multiples of ten do that to me.

"They aren't real bagels, but they're not bad. Sorry I don't have a toaster, but I got some cream cheese."

"What do you mean they're not real bagels?"

"Oh, Luv, I've got to take you ta New York for real bagels some time."

Take me to New York?

"You hit the commercial bakeries about four a.m. and they've got the back doors open and tons of fresh bagels being loaded onto delivery trucks. Fresh warm bagels right before the sun comes up, there's nothing better."

Take me to New York?

"Outside of New York, its almost impossible to find real bagels, but these will have to do us for now. You like cream cheese?"

Take me to New York?


"Here ya go, Pet. Have a seat."

Take me - STOP! Seat. Okay, sit. Where? Oh, up there.

"You got class today, Red?"

Hm? Oh, Red! That's me. Hee, hee.

"Class, yes, I have class. But then I had class yesterday and nobody was there but me so - maybe I don't."

Good bagel. But - Quiet. Just me an' Spike sitting in his crypt eating bagels. Yeah, this feels - I don't know. How does this feel? Is this supposed to be one of those comfortable silences between lovers? Oh, goddess, I just said 'lovers' to Spike. No I didn't. I thought it. Good. Didn't say, just thought.

"So, um, looks like the spell kind of wore off."

"It did? You mean you don't want to? Hold on, pet, give us a minute."

He's leaving? Where's he going? Downstairs? What's he going downstairs for? What's that? Why is he bringing me a skull? Is that a real human skull? Willow, this is a crypt, of course it's a real human skull. No wait, its that one that lit up and you couldn't find where the batteries went. Good, its fake.

"Say hello to Bob. Oy, Bob, wake up."

"Um, Spike? Why are you talking to a fake skull?"

"Not fake. It's real. See the light? Hey, Bob, wake up!"

"Sure it is, what do you think you're - "

"Vampire, I was trying to get some well-deserved respite."

Who was that?

"Bob, you're an air spirit, you don't need to relax."

"Vampire, I'm tired. I've been very busy keeping the redhead entertained while you were out."


"Don't look at me! Who was that? Why is that thing glowing like that? Nobody kept me busy. I was asleep until a few seconds ago."


"What can I say? She was dreaming. I gave her some very nice dreams. Now I was hoping she'd return the favor. I'm still covered in her scent. And let me tell you something, Vampire, I was having some very nice dreams about it too before you woke me up."

"Spike? What is he talking about? What am I talking about? I'm talking to a skull. Spike, why are we talking to a skull, and exactly what kind of dreams did he give - !!"

Oh, oh, oh, oh, don't go there. Don't go there. Brain, stop right now, don't go there!


"Now you're gettin' it, Red. Meet Bob. He's staying with me. At least he is when he's not out causing trouble. The kind of trouble that leads to parties in the cemetery and lack of attendance in your classes. Remember me telling you about Bob before we started rippin' each others clothes off?"


"Here he is. Bob, say hello to Willow."

"Enchante, mademoiselle."

"Uh, hello."

Chapter 10
Let's Make A Deal

Spike's POV

Maybe if I don't say anything, she won't notice I'm not saying anything.

Why is she trying to convince Bob to leave everyone alone? Wasn't she having a good time? Fuck that, I 
know she was having a good time. Come on, Bob, don't let me down. Stick to your guns.

There ya go. See Red, he never gets out. Bloody wanker keeps him locked up. Just wants a little fun, after all. Ya can't deny him a little fun, little fella stuck in a skull in the basement all day.

NO! Bob, no deals, don't make any deals. Red's a smart one.


Good girl, Red, don't listen to him. He can't be trusted, I can tell. 'Takes one to know one' and all that.

Three days? That's all I get? Only three more days with Red?

Oh wait. Sunnydale gets three more days? Me and Red get - ?

That's bloody brilliant, Bob! Yes! Make a deal, Red. Come on. Please. Please? Red? Whaddaya mean ya gotta check with Buffy?! No, Bob, don't go for it, Buffy'll talk her out of it.

Bob, BUDDY, please no. No Buffy. Willow's a big girl, she can make her own decisions. That's right. It's now or never, Red.



You're killin' me Red.

Bob, do something, don't sit there with that smug expression on my skull. Why's she bein' so quiet? Make her decide.

Come on, Red. You'll like it, I promise. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on -




















And I didn't have to say a word. Spike, ol' boy, sometimes it pays to keep yer mouth shut.

Chapter 11
Getting Away

Willow's POV

Third time's the charm, right? I hope so. I'm getting writer's cramp.

"What'd you write, Red?"

"Dear Buffy, my mom called. It seems my Aunt Phyllis is really sick and she wants me to go up and see her. My cousin can't get away, I told you Diane just had a baby, right? I'm going to be gone about a week probably, see you when I get home. Spike is driving me up there, she's in Monterey and he knows somebody in Salinas he wants to see. TTFN, Willow and Spike"

"Is that all right? She won't get suspicious, I hope."


"It's a Winnie the Pooh thing. The three of us discussed it one time and with all the weird things that happen on the Hellmouth, we decided that if something ever happened and we had to do something that might look suspicious and we didn't want the other two to be worried, we'd leave a note with a Pooh reference. That way we'd know it was really from us and not some baddie come to steal us away. No Pooh, we're in trouble, get it?"


"It's just - "

"Red, I don't care. Let's get out of here. Bob'll be waitin'. Midnight was the last of his three days, he gets antsy fast, you know that. We're not there, he may decide we've welched out on the deal. Besides, you haven't been naked for almost an hour and I'm goin' through withdrawals."


Everything has an up-side.

How do I get myself into these things? Five days as the love puppet of an air spirit? No one would believe me if I tried to tell them the truth.

"Cheer up, Red, it'll be over before you know it."

What if I don't want it to be over? Four days so far with Spike and it's killing me not to be touching him. How am I going to let him go after five more? He's wonderful. He's sweet - and gentle - hee hee, and sometimes not so sweet and gentle, mmmm"¦

"What's so funny, Red?"


Just keep touching me like that, Spike. Everything's easier when you're holding me.

"Don't worry, Red, I won't let you go."

Did I say that out loud?

Chapter 12
The List

Bob's POV

Humans are so gullible. I can talk them into almost anything. Redhead drove a hard bargain though. She's a smart one. Playing with her is going to be fun. Vampires aren't so easily persuaded, at least master vampires aren't, but this one has a sense of adventure. I like him. He reminds me a little of Harry, but I don't know why.

Five days alone with my redhead and my vampire. To do anything I want, no restrictions, no pushing me out of their minds, no fighting my suggestions. Anything. Including a few love potions. Not that they'll need them, but they're so much fun.

Turns out the redhead is a witch. What fun, I almost don't miss Harry. I've never been to Big Sur. Hope it has good Chinese food.

Almost packed. It's a good thing the vampire drives such a boat. I'm not a light packer. Not for this. Let's see: three pairs of handcuffs, twelve dozen Hershey bars, seventeen silk scarves, a flogger, leather gloves, chaps, red cowboy boots, a blindfold, assorted feathers, heavy cream, twine, a thirty-two inch pearl necklace, dildos, Matchbox cars, vibrators, half dollars, two glass beakers, a camp stove, a number two paintbrush and several colors of acrylic paint, six satin pillows, one hundred forty-three pink roses, eighteen dozen daisies, candles, matches, a parachute, 'Erotic Poetry of Eighteenth Century Masters', twelve bottles of tequila, seventy-six lemons, salt, four yards of white lace, black silk stockings, four inch stiletto pumps, Pixie Sticks, double-stuffed Oreos, a fountain pen, duct tape, barrettes, and a bottle of 'Heavenly' from Victoria's Secret.

I think we're ready, guys. Let's go.

Chapter 13
Hershey Bars and Matchbox Cars

Bob's POV

Don't get me wrong. I love these two kids, I really do. But we weren't on the road ten minutes and the vampire was complaining that he's hungry and the redhead was bored. Not a problem.

I had the girl feed him chocolate bars to keep him quiet while he drove. I let her play with the Matchbox cars. But only if she used them on Spike's body and only on Spike's body.

They laughed at first. Thought it was cute, her running little metal vehicles up and down his leg. He even spit out the chocolate he was laughing so hard.

He's not laughing now. Neither is she. She hasn't stopped moving the cars either. Up his leg, across his back, down his arm. He even took off his shirt - with no provocation from me whatsoever. Now he's panting - neat trick for someone who doesn't breathe, and she's panting, and taking off her shirt (Hello lovelies, welcome to my party! Note to self: no shirt for her whenever possible.)

She's sweating and he can't keep his eyes on the road. Pit stop. Behind this gas station will do, its closed; I don't think she's ready for sex in public places yet, but give me time.

I'd rush them but I'm enjoying watching him lose his cool. He's so hot for her that he thinks if he lets go of the steering wheel before he calms himself, he may hurt her from the force. He will. I did that, thank you very much. Vampire needs to learn a little self-restraint.

There's my redhead. I knew she was made of fire the first time I saw her. Her pants are gone, so's the bra. Climb on top of him, straddle him. Unzip. Lower. Look at those eyes. She's so close she can't keep her eyes open. But she wants to. She likes looking at him when he's inside her.

That fire, its all her. I'm not making her do a thing. Chocolate bars, Matchbox cars, that's the extent of my involvement here. At least with her.

Him, I'm driving crazy. Not like that. He wants her. The desire is his. The intensity is his. I'm jiggling him just enough to make him think that if he makes a move, if he takes the control away from her even a fraction, he'll lose it. He thinks he won't be able to control himself and he'll do physical damage to her.

Idiot doesn't realize how much control its taking him to let her make all the moves. And he said he felt nothing for her before I got here. Yeah, right! Then why does he care? Hurt her a little and I've got to let her rest. I'm not a monster and he knows it. If there wasn't a passion inside of him for her, he'd be wanting to hurt her. He's a vampire, its what they do. Not this one, not to this girl. These two had something burning before I ever got to town whether they had touched each other or not.

That's it girl, treat him right. That vamp is going to make you very happy.

She's so close, I can feel it. I can feel her passion, it has actual physical presence in this car. Like a sauna when you can feel the moisture and the heat. That's what she feels like. Her body is shuddering, the air is vibrating with it. Her eyes never leave his. Dark green boring into pale blue. Her body is shaking and so is his, he's moaning and grunting, she's screaming his name. And their eyes never leave each other.

The vampire strokes her back, calming her. Helping to get her body back under control. She leans her forehead into his, the sweat from her dripping onto his face.

Steadying breaths from both of them.

And their eyes never once leave each other.

This is going to be an interesting five days.

Chapter 14
Candles, Roses, Tequila and a Blindfold

Willow's POV

This is nice. Who knew vampires lived so well?

"Are you sure no one's going to be coming home, Spike?"

"Don't worry, pet. David and Jenny go to Venice this time of year. They've been doing it for almost three centuries; I don't think they're likely to change now. The place is ours."

"If you're sure"¦"

"Red, I come up here all the time. Where do you Scoobies think I go when I disappear for days at a time?"

"I don't know. Xander said once -"

I have to go set up the candles.


"Bob! Stop doing that! Just ask me to do stuff, don't jiggle in my head! Annoying little air spirit."

"Here, Red, catch!"

What? Oh! Catch the skull. Got it.

"Thanks, Spike."

"Serves you right, Bob. Keep getting inside my head like that and Spike and I will play catch with your home and then where will you be? Puking your little guts up, that's where. Better yet, we'll find a dog and let him have this nice big bone."

"You and the vampire promised to do as I said for five days. If you're unhappy, I'll go back to Sunnydale."

"No! No, I'm good. Doing what you say, see? Just, please, ask me next time, I want to make you happy, I really do."

'Cause making you happy gets me a happy.

"Very well Willow. I'll ask the human way. How boring, but if you insist."

"Thank you, Bob."

See, that wasn't so hard, now was it?

"Vampire, you put away the perishables. And I want as many of those flowers in the refrigerator as possible, we have five days after all, I want them fresh. Find a bedroom you like and put three-dozen roses on the bed for now. The rest go in vases."

"Willow, the candles if you would be so kind. One here, another here-"

Where'd he go?

"Bob, slow down. Human remember, need to use legs."

"Mortals, can't live with them, can't fuck without them. Fine."


"Yes, my dear?"

"Nothing. Where next?"

Finally the house is set up. Everything where Bob wants it to be. Little pain in the butt.

This bath feels so good. Warm water, candles, rose petals. Bob sure knows his stuff.


"Yeah, Spike, come in."

Ooh, tequila.

"Bob insisted, Pet. Said you needed a pick-me-up."

Love that smirk. And how does he do that with his eyebrow?


Lick. Shake. Lick. Gulp. Feel the burn. Sour!


"Like it in there, Red?"

Lick. Shake. Lick. Gulp. Feel the burn. Sour!


Lick. Shake. Lick. Gulp. Feel the burn. Didn't I have a lemon?

"Want some company?"

Since you're already getting naked, don't mind at all.

"Scootch up."

Hee, hee.

"Master vampires say 'scootch'?"

Lick. Gulp. Shake. Lick. Wait, that wasn't right"¦

"This one does. Mmm, you're right, this does feel good."

"Spike, that's my chest."

"And it feels damn good."

"Mmm, you're right, it does."

A girl could get used to this.

"What's that? Bob! Don't do that! No more floaty things, you were going to ask, remember?"

"Red, he wants me to put this on you. Lift up a sec."

A blindfold? In the bathtub? O-kay.

"There ya go, Pet. Lean back again. It's nice having a warm body against my chest, didn't realize how cold I was all the time 'til I got you in my arms."

Keep doing that. That feels good. Hot water, so hot. Cool hands feel good. Lower, lower, right there. Oh yes. Let me turn around.

"Don't move. Just relax. I'll get you there. Want more?"


Harder, faster, more, more, harder, harder, make it hurt, more, faster.

"Yes! Spike! Fuck! Oh! Oh! Spike!"

Really, really used to this"¦

Chapter 15
Oreos, a Camp Stove, a Beaker, Some Tequila, Perfume, Candlelight, and Poetry


"Yes, Bob?"

"Are you awake?"

"No, Bob."

"Then why are you talking to me?"

"Because I'm talking in my sleep, Bob."

"No really, are you awake?"

"I am now."

"Good, I want you to do something for me. Well, it's really for Blondie but it's my idea."


"Um, Willow, don't you want to get dressed?"

"Why? Are you going to see something you haven't already seen? You've been inside my you-know-where for heaven's sake. Did I say thank you for that?"


"Good. I'm not going to. What do you want me to do?"

"Cut a piece of the twine about twenty-four inches long."

"Okay. Now what?"

"Put knots in it about every four inches."

"Like this?"

"Just like that."

"What's Spike going to use it for?"

"He's not going to use, you are."

"I thought you said it was for Spike."

"It is."

"Bob, you crack me up."

"You say that now. Wait until you see what the pearl necklace is for."

"I think I have an idea. Bob, I'm getting kinda hungry, human remember? Can I break open the Oreos?"

"Sure, my Willow, help yourself."


"While you're doing that-"

"Uh-oh, I knew it was too good to last. Yes, Bob?"

"Could you fire up the camp stove? I want you to make a potion for me."

"Um, Bob, my magic doesn't always work for the forces of good. Are you sure you want me to-"

"Don't worry Willow, you're in my more than competent hands."

"That's what I was afraid of."

"I'll have you know I haven't had a potion go wrong in over three-hundred fifty-three years. The ones Harry does wrong don't count."

"Why not?"

"Because he doesn't do what I tell him. Or he does do what I tell him, but I give him the wrong ingredients on purpose."


"It's all right. Hold it down on the righteous indignation. They were just stupid things like diet potions and sleep aids for the cat."

"Okay, stove is a go. What first?"

"Eight ounces of tequila."

"Tequila check. Next?"

"It has to boil."

"Sheesh, I know that. I wasn't just magicked yesterday ya know. I've got to get the next thing ready, don't I?"

"Okay. Shred up a piece of fabric torn from a pair of your underwear."


"Just do it."

"Fine, fine. One shredded up piece of my underwear. Next?"

"Two drops of the perfume I had you get."

"One, two. Two drops of perfume. Mwahaha. Shouldn't there be thunder and lightening?"


"One, two. Two drops - you never watched 'Sesame Street' did you?"

"Apparently not."

"Never mind. Next?"

"I want you to wear that perfume every moment of every day that we're here. It's very important for this potion. Now, light a candle."

"Okay, lit."

"Drop some candlelight into the mix."

"Drop some - how do I do that?"

"Just do it."

"Right. Candlelight, gotcha. Hey, it turned pink. Cool."

"See? Next, I want you to hold the beaker up to your mouth and say 'yes'."

"You want me to what? I know, I know, don't ask, just do it. Yes."

"Good girl. Go get that book of poetry I brought."

"Where is it?"

"I think the vampire stuffed it in with the dildos."

"Found it."

"Open it up. Inside the back cover is a loose piece of paper. Burn it and put the ashes in."

"Can I read -"

"No. Just burn it."

"Yeah, yeah, take away all my fun. Okay, ashes of a piece of paper I wasn't allowed to look at. Mixed in. Next?"

"Go cut a lock of Blondie's hair."

"I am not sneaking up on a sleeping vampire with a pair of scissors, I don't care what we've been doing all night. No."

"He'll sleep through it. He's dead to the world."

"So not funny."

"Just trust me. You promised."

"Me and my big mouth. Okay, one lock of undead and not just because it's been bleached to death blonde hair coming right up."

"You got it?"

"Yes, hair added. He's sleeping like a baby. Next? Wait, that's - tequila, perfume, undies, yes, candlelight, paper I wasn't allowed to read, hair - that's seven. One more. Why hair for the mind - it couldn't have been for the taste."

"Very good. Tequila for the liquid base, perfume for sense of smell, undies for touch, yes for sound, candlelight for sight, poem for spirit, hair for mind. I used the hair because I had to use something of his to satisfy his mind that this potion is for him and him only, and that hair, well, that hair is uniquely his and not just because of the DNA."

"You got that right. What are we using for taste?"

"Usually I use chocolate."

"Good idea. Like chocolate."

"But this is for a vampire. I need you to cut your finger."

"Of course. Couldn't be anything normal. I could understand blood for the spirit ingredient, maybe, but for my first love potion the blood is for taste. Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you haven't been doing this nearly as long as I have. Mix them up and bring them to a simmer."


"Ricorda l'amore. Ricorda il suo profumo, il suo gusto, il suo sapore, il suo tocco, la sua voice. Rinnova il tuo amore per lei. Ricorda te stesso."

[Translation: Remember love. Remember her scent, her taste, her smell, her touch, her voice. Restore your love to her. Remember yourself.]

"Get the empty tequila bottle from last night."

"Where - oh, yeah, here it is. Pour it in?"


"Okay. Do you want him to drink it when he wakes up?"

"No, I want you to go put it under the front seat of the car."

"You're joking."

"No I'm not."


"Because that love potion was specifically designed for Spike with you as the objective. I want you to hold onto that. Put it away somewhere when you get home. There may come a time when you or one of your friends needs to make Spike see reason. You know - just in case."

"Um- Yeah, Bob, I know. I think about that all the time. I mean, he used to try to kill us, but now -"

"And in case that ever changes, you'll have this. Even if you aren't around anymore. Get a little of that potion down his throat and he'll remember all of this. Everything you two have shared the last few days, it'll all come flooding back. Just in case."

"Just in case."


"Thanks, Bob."

"Hey, Bob. What was on the piece of paper?"

"A poem."

"Why did we have to use that one?"

"It was an original composition, signed by the author."

"Who wrote it?"

"It was signed 'William'."

"You destroyed poetry from when Spike was human? You tell him, I'm not gonna tell him. It was at least a hundred and twenty years old. He's gonna kill you."

"It was dated the day before yesterday."


Chapter 16
Silk Scarves

Spike's POV

A game! Airy little fairy announces that we are going to play a soddin' game and then disappears into the bedroom with Red for an hour and a half. What the hell are they doin' in there? Little pervert's prob'ly watchin' her take a bath again. Why can't I watch too? I thought we were all in this together?



"Get your mind off your whining, I've been calling you."

"I'm listenin' now. What do you want?"

"Come on. My Willow's ready for you."

"Bout time."

"Be nice, Vampire, or I'll change the rules on you."

"What rules?"

"You'll see. Come on."


Follow the bouncin' orange light. I'm a master vampire for Chri'sakes! Nobody had better ever find out about this.

"Vampire, before we go in, here are the rules:
1. You may only take off one scarf at a time. I'll show you which one.
2. You may not touch her with any part of your body.
3. You may touch her with anything else you can find in this house.
4. The point of this game is to seduce her with your words. I've read your poetry, you suck. Your prose is laughable at best."

Bloody little demon, readin' my poems! Everybody's a critic! Who does this wanker think he is!

"Calm down, Blondie. You're not hopeless. You just need practice putting your thoughts and desires into a form not only amenable, but alluring to the ear. I'm giving you a chance to practice in front of a captive audience. It's up to you to keep her captivated. You up to it?"

"Blasted little- Yeah."

Willow's POV

I'm not supposed to say anything. I'm just supposed to listen and feel. That's what Bob said. Listen and feel. What am I listening for?

feel stupid. I'm standing in the middle of the bedroom, nice bedroom by the way, aqua and ivory, Spike's friends' have good taste. So, I'm standing here in the pretty bedroom, naked, wrapped in silk scarves. How many? Ankle, knee, thigh, girly parts, waist, boobies, neck, wrist, mouth and eyes. Ten, I guess. That's ten, right? Ankle, knee, thigh, girly, yeah ten. And I'm listening.

Doo, dee, doo, dum. Listening here. Listening for what? I think Bob left. How long is he going to make me stand here? I feel like an idiot. But I promised. The sacrifices I have to make sometimes. Geez.

Well, not really. Let's face it, making love with Spike is no chore. Pretty darn wonderful actually. But still.

And that Bob. Weird little thing, but what a head for what gets a girl off. He could have made a fortune if he'd been human. Or at least humanoid. You'd think he would write books. He ought to get that Harry guy to write some of this stuff down. Best seller lists. Millionaire City. Shame.

Well, shame for everybody else. Lucky me, I get the full-on, no-holds barred, full-barreled Bob action. Think you could have fit any more clichés into that mix, Willow?

Yeah, I probably could have, but I don't remember what I said anymore.

Where is he?

I think the tequila's startin' to kick in. My skin feels kinda tingly in a good way. And I don't feel quite so stupid anymore. Spike better get his mighty fine toushie in here right quick or I'm gonna start without 'im.

What's that? Something about rules? Is he talking to me? I hope not, cause if he is, he better speak up. What's that?
Captive audience? I guess that would be me.

Guess the fun is about to start"¦

Chapter 17
Feathers, Lace, A Flogger and a Vibrating Dildo

Willow's POV

He's here. I can feel him.

Why isn't he saying anything? Maybe he's not allowed to talk either.

He's just walking around.

Look at the strange girl in the middle of the room with scarves tied around her.

I feel like a sideshow attraction. I don't like this game.

Spike, please, don't leave me just standing here.

Say something.

Touch me.


Where - ? Behind me.

Okay, that's better. Untying me neck? Why the neck first? Bob, HELLO! He's a vampire. Don't leave me exposed and vulnerable here. I've been enjoying this week but I don't want to die because of it!

Where'd he go?

Okay, I'll just stand here - naked, wearing these scarves, with my neck exposed.

There's some line from a movie - something about standing here naked wearing nothing but a cock ring. Not that that has anything to do with my current situation, but it just popped into my head. Oh yeah, Christian Slater. I wouldn't mind having Christian Slater here right now. Well, not RIGHT now, 'cause, still naked and vulnerable but you know what I mean.

Where is he?

There he is.

Mmm, that feels nice. Feather, I think. Soft. Tickles a little.

"Like that, Red?"

"Mm- hmm."

"I want to touch you."


"But I'm not allowed."


"There are rules."

I figured. Feather feels so good.

"Your skin looks so soft. You skin is so soft. Even if I can't touch you now, I've been touching you. Touching you everywhere."

Can I just melt into the floor now?

Breath. Cool breath on my neck. Giving me chills. And not just the scary movie kind. After all, he is a vampire.

"Perfect. The line of your neck. Graceful. Breathtaking. Perfect. And I should know."

So not funny right now. And no sharp pointy things around the neck.

But your breath is nice. And the soft feathery thing.

No, new soft thing. Rose, maybe?

Tugging? Oh, another scarf. Great, let's just make me feel even more stupid. First the neck, now the boobies. All covered up like a mummy, except for the vampire erogenous zone and my breasts! I'm like a - like a - like a topless mummy, that's what I'm like. Bob, you're gonna get it for this.

What's he doing?

Say something!




Please, please touch me. Can't you see how vulnerable I am here? I'm not big with the self-esteem, I need constant reassurance, and I'm standing here - exposing myself - opening myself up to you.

Please don't leave me here.

Please want me.

Footsteps. He's gone again.

And back. What's that?

Coarse. Like a scarf, but rough.

Feels good. Across my skin. Across my shoulders. Across my breasts. Skimming my nipples. Sooooo good.

More. This is just teasing. Want more. Need more.

Yeah, like that. Mmmm.

"I find myself perplexed. What is desire? The impulse to make someone else complete?"

Mmm, poetry.

"The body and the soul know how to play. In that dark world where gods have lost their way."

Breath again. And whispers. Talking, whispering, poetry - against my skin.

"All is order and elegance, pleasure, peace and opulence."

Pieces of poetry.

"They are firm and you are tender;
Full and Round, though you are slender:
Bold your breasts, while you are shy
- since so near your heart they lie."

That was kinda nice. A poem to my boobies, hee hee.

Another tug. My ankle? From breasts to ankle? Bob, you're weird.

Mmm, more feather. No, not feather. Smells like leather. Soft, light leather?

Tickles. But in a nice way.

Yeah, untie me some more. Free the knee. I'm a poet, and I didn't know it.

Mmmm. That rough stuff -scarf, what? Lace!- feels good against my legs.

More leather smell. WHAT IS THAT!?

Ow! Kinda stings there, Spike. But just a little. Mmm, that's better.

Flogger! I was wondering what he'd do with that. Feels really good in a pleasure/pain kinda way.

Oh, REALLY good.

"You want a turn, Red? I'll let you do me another time."

Please, please.

"If it should please you, for your own best reasons,
To take and flog me with a rawhide whip,
I might, who knows?, surprisingly accept
This earnest affection."

S&M poetry? Who knew? Cool.

Feels good though. S&M poetry while being smacked, in all the best ways, with a flogger. Sometimes I surprise even me.

Another scarf. Waist. Feels so good, don't stop.

Leather - just barely touching me. Being whipped, but not. It's hitting me, but not hurting. Teasing, exciting.

More scarves going. Thigh. Wrist.

Spike, let me see you.

More touching. Feels so nice. Just being caressed all over. Feathers, roses, leather, lace.


Cold, cold, cold, cold! Neck, shoulders, arms, back up the arm, chest, mmmmm nipples, feels so good.

That sucker must be meltin' away to nothing cause I'm burning up.

Who knew ice could get you hot?


What's that? Oh. Hee hee.

that's good. Oh yeah, right there. Tip of my nipple. Mmm, other one. All around, oh yeah. Goddess, he's good at this.

Finally. Was tired of that scarf across my mouth.

Soft. Soft breath. Soft lips.


"Fuck off, Bob, just one kiss."

One kiss. SO soft.

"Let me see you, Spike. Please?"

"No talking, Willow. You know the rules."

Yeah, yeah, Bob, ya little shit.

More feather. Right down my spine. I could die happy right now.

Not that I
want to die right now. Gotta watch what you think when there's a vampire in the room. Even one as yummy as Spike. What a way to go"¦

Soft touches. Across my stomach, thighs. I'll never look at another feather without thinking of this moment.

Another tug. Hips, girly parts - you know, that.

"I'm going to untie you, but I'm not allowed to touch you. Not allowed to lick you. Not allowed to spread you open and run my tongue along your hot, wet pussy."

And lions and tigers and bears, oh my.

"But that doesn't mean I can't taste you. I want to taste you. I crave you."

Oh my.

"Open your legs a little wider."


"Feel that?"

Oh yeah. That's a nice little breath-y breeze down there. Oh yeah.

"I can't touch you, can't lick you, can't bury my face in your delicious little quim. Can't suck that lovely little clit that's getting nice and swollen for me even as I sit here. But I can still taste you."


"Drip into my mouth, Luv. Cum for me. You feel my breath. I'm waiting for you, baby. Cum for me. Let me taste you."


Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhhh.

Happy now?

"Oh yeah, Red. Very happy."

I think I'm gonna fall down.

Chapter 18
Ice Cream Interlude

Spike's POV

"You should be sleeping while Bob's getting his z's."

"I know. But I got a craving."

"You can have ice cream later, luv."

"I'll sleep later. Want Tin Roof Sundae now. Must cave to the ice cream gods."

"Ice cream gods?"

"You've never heard of them?"

She's adorable.

"Come on, Spike. Everybody knows the ice cream gods. Chocolate, Vanilla, Strawberry, Mint Chocolate Chip… there's thirty-three all together. They live on Mount Baskin-Robbins."

"Oh those ice cream gods. Always been partial to Strawberry myself."

This is the unlife. Sitting on the floor, on a thick oriental carpet at four in the morning, eating ice cream with a beautiful girl.

"Penny for your thoughts, Spike."

"They're worth a quarter."

"Okay, a quarter for your thoughts."

"Give "˜em to ya for free."

Should I tell her the truth, or would I sound like a sap? I'm a master vampire, one fourth of the Scourge of Europe and this human is sitting here looking at me with those big, beautiful eyes, waiting for me to tell her my thoughts. Go figure.

"Your eyes."

"My eyes? You were not thinking about my eyes, Spike."

"Yes I was. I've been all over the world, seen over a century's worth of humans and demons from every dimension. But you have the most beautiful eyes in the history of my existence. Everything about you comes out through your eyes. Honesty, innocence and passion, intelligence and wonder, purity and wisdom, acceptance of all you've seen - and hope for something better… it all comes to the surface, I can see all of it through your eyes."

She really is so very beautiful. Why didn't I ever see it before?

"Are you sure you don't have a soul?"

"Yeah right. I think that's something I would've noticed, Pet."

"It's just that… "

"Just that what?"

"Just that you seem to see things other people don't see. Buffy said something about it once. About not being able to fool you. How you can look right into her."

"It's not like she's all that deep, Red."

"You know what I mean. How do you do that? How do you see people the way you do? I'd love to be able to see through your eyes."

"My eyes have seen more horrors than you could ever imagine. Even caused some of them."

"I know. But… "

"Don't get shy on me now, Red. Not a whole lot we can hide from each other any more."

"It's just… you talk about what you see in my eyes. But I can see a lot in yours too. You're dead, but you have more passion for life than anyone I've ever met.   After Jesse died, Giles taught us about vampires and how they just kill everything in their path.   And then we met Angel and he wasn't like that. But he had a soul. And then you and Drusilla came and even though you were trying to kill us, we could still see that you two really cared about each other. You loved her. It went against everything the Watcher's Diaries said about vamps. But you were trying to kill us so we didn't stop to think about it very much. But now…"

"Now what?"

"Now I don't know what to think. You don't have a soul, but you do. You have more soul than most of the humans I know."

"I'm unique, luv. Never could stand to be like anyone else. What those books said is true. Most vamps, hell, all vamps, excepting yours truly and the poof of course, will kill you as soon as look at you. Don't start hesitating with your stake because you think it might have feelings. It doesn't."

"Then why do you?"

"Don't know. Most vamps, what they were as a human, its gone when they wake up as a vamp. Even Angel, he's nothing like Liam. But me, William's still in here somewhere. Still has a say in what goes on, even if he's not the deciding vote. Maybe it was Dru, I'm the only childe she ever made. Her not being right in the head, maybe it had something to do with how she made me, I don't know. But other vamps, they aren't like me. Don't ever forget that."

"I guess."

"No guesswork involved. Come on, Bob's only gonna be asleep for a little while, and as soon as he gets up its back to work."

Great. What did I say? She looks like I just ran over her puppy.

"Okay, let me clean up here."

"Leave it."

"No, somebody has to do it. Um, would you mind if I slept in the other bedroom? By myself?"


"Whatever you want, Pet. Good night."

"Night, Spike."

Double Shit.

Chapter 19

No Brooding Allowed

Bob's POV

One little nap and the world goes to hell.

Blondie's moping. I would say "˜brooding' but the vampire gets very testy when I use that word for some reason.

My Willow's been crying but she won't say why.

I think some of Harry's damned chivalry has rubbed off on me. I have this horrible desire to tell her everything will be all right and then kick someone's ass. Shame I have no body.

I know who's fault it is, of course. Wasn't me, I was snuggled cozily in my nice warm skull. It was him.

Vampires! Always getting into trouble. Why couldn't she have picked some nice boring college student from Iowa?

Oh well. What to do? I could just jiggle up some nice juicy salacious thoughts.

:: sigh :: But no. Damn Harry. In future I'll thank him to keep his old-fashioned notions to himself and not force them upon others.

Okay fine. I'll do the Knight in Shining Armor bit. But I won't like it.


"Yes, Bob."

She sounds pitiful. I'll have to try to channel Harry and be the sweet sensitive type.

"What happened?"


"Oh please. That routine doesn't even work on humans."

"Fine. It's Spike."

"That I knew. Can you be more specific?"

"He said something that hurt my feelings."

"Again, no new territory. One more time."

"He said that what we've been doing…"

I hate these damned pauses. Do I say something? Do I wait?

Oh, hell.

"What did he say? Come on, tell Uncle Bob."

Well, I got her to smile. That's a start, I guess.

"He said what we've been doing… he said it was… work'."


"My reaction exactly. See, you get it! Stupid, mean vampire."

"Wait here."

"Bob, NO!"

"What? I'm going to give that halfwit a piece of my mind."

"No, you can't. Bob, if you jiggle him it won't change anything. He'll only be saying what you've told him to."

She has a point.  But still.

"Bob, I want to go back. I think our little experiment failed. I know we have two and a half days left, but…"

"It's daylight. Give him until tonight, Willow. I won't jiggle him, I promise."

That inconsiderate baboon is ruining all my fun.

"Get some sleep, Willow. It'll be all right."

"Bob, no jiggling, you promised."

"Wizard's honour."

"Bob, you're not a wizard."

Picky little thing, isn't she?

"There is no such thing as air spirit's honor. Wizard's honor is the best I can do."

"Just give me your word. I trust you."

Damn. She trusts me. Just peachy. Now what do I do?

"I give you my word."

Now where's that oafish vampire?

Chapter 20
The Inconsiderate Baboon Gets A Clue

Bob's POV

"Bob, you've got to talk to her. I think she's mad at me."

"You think she's mad? You're not certain?"

"Well, she didn't sleep with me. And I don't think she slept at all. I heard her crying. I think she's upset."

"Two points for the tactless clod."

"Tactless clod? Bob, do you know something about this?"



"Well what?"

"Tell me, you amorphous monster. If you had form, I'd be wringing your neck by now. What's wrong with Red?"

"I promised not to tell."

"Bloody hell."

"She didn't say I couldn't hint."

"That's more like it. Us gents have to stick together. Come on, hint away."

"What was the last thing you were doing together?"

"Eating ice cream?"

This is going to take a while.

"Anything else?"

"We were eating ice cream. We were talking."

"Give the man a cigar. What did you talk about?"

"I don't know. Stuff."

Oh lord.

:: sigh ::

"What stuff, vampire?"

"Ice cream stuff. Ice cream gods? What else? Her eyes, I said she had pretty eyes. She's mad because I said she has pretty eyes?!"

"No, you moron. What else did you say?"

"Talked about me bein' unique, not like other vamps."

"And then?"

"Then I told her to get some sleep."

"And then?"

"Then what? Then nothing. That was all. Said to get some sleep cause when you woke up it was back to work."

Ding, ding, ding!

"What? Bob, stop bouncin' like that, you're makin' me dizzy."

"Stupid vampires. Repeat what you just said, but slowly. One word at a time."



"Fine! Get. Some. Sleep. Cause. When. You. Wake. Up. Its. Back. To. Wor… OH BLOODY HELL!"

By jove, I think he's got it.

"What am I going to do?"

"Don't ask me. I promised not to help you. I gave my word."

"You aren't serious? You're not even tangible. Why should you keep your word, what she gonna do to you if you don't? Help me here."

"She said she trusts me."

"Shit. I hate it when she does that. Said the same thing to me when I first started helping the damn Scoobies. It's a killer, her trust. Been the downfall of many, I'm sure."

"For once, vampire, you and I agree completely."

"Bob, I want a night off."

"You want a what?"

"A night off. You go flit off somewhere and leave me with Red. On my own."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet. But what ever it is, its gonna bring her back to me. I'm not losing her."

"Thata boy."

Chapter 21

Willow's POV

My life has turned out so not what I thought it would be. I guess no one's does, but come on, you gotta admit, mine's stranger than anybody could have predicted.

At fourteen, I was a certified professional geek. My best friends were two guys who couldn't tell the difference between me and the scratching post Jesse bought for his cat.

At sixteen, I met and befriended a new girl at school who turned out to be the one thing that monsters are afraid of. Not a bad thing, living in Sunnydale. One friend was traded for another, unfortunately, and my friend Jesse was turned into one of the things that go bump in the night.

I learned that vampires are real and boogeymen do exist, so I jumped on the bandwagon and started fighting evil.

At eighteen, I am currently riding down the highway in the car of one member of the aforementioned evil, or an ex-member anyway. And I'm not talking someone who sent his vote in by proxy. This guy could have been evil's CEO.

And yet here I am, cruising north to Monterey, sitting in the middle of the front seat with William the Bloody's arm around my shoulder.

What are the chances? Jimmy the Greek would have laughed himself silly. Any odds you wanted.

Why Bob decided to give us a night off, I have no idea. Well, I do have an idea, but since it involves me having a hissy fit, I'd rather not think about it. Spike said we were close to Monterey and he hasn't been there in a while so off we went.  I did tell Buffy I was going to Monterey in my note, so Spike said I should come with and that way I wouldn't be lying to Buffy.

How could I argue with that?

Spike has been his usual charming self. Not that I've forgiven him. But what am I going to do? We still have two days left and I have to see this through or Bob promised some horrible unnamed retribution on the entire population of Sunnydale.

Seems Bob used to live in some dimension called the Nevernever and he knows quite a few vengeance demons.   It's hard to have sex with someone you're not speaking to. So I caved, like I always do.

Hence the arm around my shoulders.

"Let's go, luv, we're here."

"Where are we going?"

"Someplace Dru used to love."

Oh great, the ex.

Not that it matters. Its not like I'm the current Mrs. the Bloody. Spike and I, we aren't anything… not really. But still.

Looks like a big warehouse. He's taking me to a warehouse? Are we going to eat the security guards? Forget that last thought, I must be tripping. It's the stress.

Oh, lookie! A carousel. It's beautiful.

"Want to ride?"

"You aren't seriously going to ride on a carousel, are you?"

"Not me, pet. You. I'll get you a ticket."

Never in a million years would I have guessed this. See what I mean? My whacked out life.

>>edited for content, carousels going round and round and up and down made the author nauseous.   We now return to Willow's thoughts.<<

That was fun. What next? Walking? Walking's nice.

"Cannery Row used to be here. It was something else. Just before dawn, there'd be thousands of men out here, getting ready for work. If you could stand the fish smell, it was an all you can eat buffet. Dru loved it."

"Did you spend a lot of time here?"

"A couple of years. Monterey's a nice place. There used to be this Mexican restaurant, Consuelo's… best tamales you ever tasted."

"Sounds great."

"It was. Come on, let's walk down the pier."

Again, who knew? Strolling down Fisherman's Wharf holding hands with a master vampire. Did you see this for your life? Me neither.

"Red, I'm sorry about what I said this morning. I shouldn't have put it that way."

Oh, that. Major mood killer. Let's get it over with.

"You don't have to apologize. If that's how you see this, that's up to you. I just wasn't real happy about being referred to as "˜work'."

"You're not. It's not. But let's face it, would you have been here any other way? Is there anything I could have said or done to get you to come away and have sex with me for five days if Bob hadn't forced your hand?"

Nasty vampire has a point. I hate that.

"Probably not. But he did and now we've started something, or at least I thought we had."

"We're not changing the world here. If Bob hadn't forced you into this, what would have happened? One of us would have woke up and tried like hell to find the best possible way to get out of there gracefully. We got into this because of the little guy. His jiggles or whatever. Even if we'd thought about it, we'd never have hooked up by ourselves."

He's right. I hate it, but he's right.

"Red, we have to just go with it. We enjoy it while it lasts. But this isn't real, Pet. It can't be. What happens when we get back to Sunnyhell? You walk up to the slayer, the whelp and the watcher and tell them I'm your guy? You gonna start hanging out in my crypt, moving in your textbooks and computer?"

Again, he's right. I don't know what to do. This has been so perfect, but there's no way we can take this home with us, is there?

"Let's go back. We'll shag, we'll laugh, we'll shag some more and laugh some more. And when it's over, we'll go back and pretend it never happened. Well, not really. We'll both know. And we'll never forget. But that will be it. You - me, we don't fit… much as we might like to, we don't - they won't let us."

I'm not crying, I swear I'm not crying.

Darn it, I'm crying.

"Come on, Red, cheer up. Tonight it's just you and me, no little wanker jiggling our thoughts."

Wow. He's a good kisser. Who am I kidding? He's a great kisser. Is it wrong for me to want this never to end?

He can be so sweet sometimes. He can also be insufferably mean, like this morning, but he was only being honest. Tactless, but honest.

But right now he's lovable, and he would probably spontaneously combust if he knew I just applied the word "˜lovable' to him.

Kissing is good. Kissing with Spike is heaven.

After all the sex of the last few days, just making out is so erotic. Weird, but true. Feeling his lips on mine. Sometimes gentle, sometimes possessive. Always hungry. Like he wants more of me just like I want more of him.

But what I want isn't physical, its not something you can touch or taste. But that's something we can never have.

What we can have is this. Kissing, holding, touching. Feeling his lips and his tongue. Savouring the feel of his hands in my hair.

He seems to like playing with my hair, he's done that a lot. I like it too. It's so innocent, yet so erotic at the same time.

I like the feel of his hair too. Soft with curls that twist around my fingers. When I run my fingers through them while he's asleep he purrs. More like a tiger than a kitty cat, but its nice.

He touches me when he thinks I'm asleep too. Caresses my back, pets my hair, kisses my shoulder.

When it wakes me up, we make love. I guess "˜have sex' would be more accurate, but it feels like making love to me. Maybe it feels like that to him too.

But right now, there's kissing.

Lots and lots of kissing.

Chapter 22
Paint and Daisies

Bob's POV

I think they worked out their problem. But I'll jiggle them extra hard tonight just in case.

My redhead is too tense. She needs to relax, have a little fun. Where's the paint? And the petals of a few dozen roses couldn't hurt. Maybe we'll do daisies tonight. I don't usually do daisies, but I had a feeling before we left that my redhead would like daisies.

And I was right of course. She's made leis and crowns with them, put some in her hair almost every day. Never touches the roses unless I ask her to. Do I know women or what? The things I could teach Harry if he'd only listen.

But no, it's ignore the little air spirit, what could he know? He's just obsessed with sex.

Like Mark Twain was obsessed with words and Chopin was obsessed with music. When you have a talent, you cultivate it. I'm not obsessing, I'm cultivating.

It's nice to finally spend time with people who appreciate what I can do. Unlike some other haven't-had-a-date-since-I-can't-remember-when wizards I could name.

Let's have some fun.

Willow's POV

Daisies. I love daisies. They're perfect.

Roses are scary. With roses, there's always a reason for them and its up to you to figure out what the reason is. You get roses delivered to you and its some nameless delivery man in a white van that you've never seen before and panic sets in.

You get daisies delivered to you and its in the hand of a really sweet guy who asked you out and now he's here and you know you're going to have a nice time and sex is not required afterward, unless you really want to.

I like daisies, I'm a daisy kind of gal.

Roses are more Cordy's speed. I can't take the pressure.

I've used almost all of them that we brought. This is the third day and the third time Spike's tried to weave the stems together like I do, but he doesn't have the patience.

Spike weaving flowers together seems like such a strange concept. I've learned that Spike will do almost anything if he thinks he's going to laid afterward. I think that's a guy thing that spans generations and breathing status.

Once again, its time for my bath. I thought at first that Bob was a clean freak, now I know better. He sits in the corner of the tub and watches me.

Kinda flattering actually. After you get past the "ew".

One thought keeps revolving around in my head, though.

If Spike's only here for the sex and because Bob is making us do this, what was all the kissing about last night?

Spike's POV

Thank you, Bob. I know that's a strange thought for this moment in time, but that's all I keep thinking.

Thank you, Bob.

Guh, what a mouth this girl has. Her lips and her tongue, there's talent there. I knew she could kiss, but this? Bloody hell. This girl could suck the paint off a car.

Don't want it to end. Feels so damn good. Don't watch. Don't think about her lips. Think about that and its over in two seconds. Feels too good, gotta make it last.

Think about"¦ what? Baseball. Nope, hate baseball. Think about"¦ the slayer. Fuck no, I'll go limp. Think about"¦ can't help it, can only think about Red.

Red - under me, around me. Covered in paint. Never considered painting as foreplay before. Dru would never have gone for it.

I look down and see her covered in squiggles and lines, designs that I put there. Signed her, like she was art. She is, but not because she's covered in paint. I wanted to put my name on her, make her mine for as long as the paint lasts. Mark her.

What I said last night was true. This won't last, it can't. I know I sounded harsh but if I hadn't she would have let some little-girl fairy-tale notions carry us both up to a point where the only way to go was down. And fast.

I've been down. Only I didn't fall off the edge, I was pushed. Fell like a brick. I'm not going that route again. Learned my lesson with Dru.

Red's letting a little lust, okay a lot of lust, go to her head. If I let her start talking she'll have us both convinced that what we're doing here is a lot more important than it is.

Not that I need convincing. I'm almost ready to try to talk her into making a go of it myself.

Gotta stop thinking about impossible things. Think about"¦ what?

Cor, that mouth"¦

Don't wanna cum this way.

"Red, wanna cum inside you, let me cum inside you. Up here, turn around. Get deeper this way. Yeah, like that. Sit up. Lean back. Oh, there."

So fucking good. Lit'rally.

"Oh, Spike, right there. Deeper. Oh, harder. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, that's. It. Don't. Stop."

This girl should enter a rodeo. No bull alive could throw her. If I wasn't a vampire, I'd be dead. Finally found a girl who can go as long as me. And what a ride.

"Come on, Red. I can't take it, I'm not gonna last."

"Spike… goddess… Spike… aaaaahhhhhhh."

"Luv. So good. Love it, in here. Love it."

Bloody fucking holy shit. Volcanoes don't erupt this hard.

She feels so good, so soft, so - right.

Thank you, Bob.

Chapter 23
Sex and Candy

Spike's POV


"Red? What's wrong, pet?"

"Get out of my way, Spike. I'm gonna kill that evil little troll!"

"Red? He's not in the bathroom."

"I know that! Shower, I have to get in the shower."

What?  On the other hand… very scenic spot, the bathroom. Whatever's wrong, it can't be that bad, it's making her take off all her clothes. Bob, if you're responsible, this is definitely one of your better ideas.

"What's wrong, Red?"

"Bob, that's what's wrong! He came outside where I was getting a tan, or as much of a tan as a very light skinned person like me can get, and the next thing I know, I feel him jiggling around my head. Just as he flies off, I get hit with a heat wave. It feels like my body's on fire. Oh, that's better. Cold water… much better."


Shame to waste a perfectly good shower.


"Thought I'd join you. My body suddenly felt like it was on fire too."

"Do you put Bob up to that?"

"Hadn't a clue, luv, I swear. But now that I know how effective it is…"

"All you had to do was ask."



"I'll remember that."

"I bet you will too."

"Since you're in an obliging mood…"


"Hold still."

Cor, she's right. Her skin's hot as blazes. Feels wonderful. Tastes good too.  I love this. The feel of her pulse on my tongue. Wish I could bite her. Just one taste. But that's prob'ly against the rules. Another day and I won't care about the blasted rules. Another day and she won't either.

I can feel her heart race every time she's near me. I know her body almost as well as I know my own. I can almost hear her thoughts. And she knows mine. She knows what I'm thinkin', what I want, at the same instant I know.

I want to consume her, take her into me.

Eat her up, in more ways than one. This'll have to do for now.  Feelin' her squirm against my tongue. I want more.

"Um, pet, you ever consider shaving?"


"You know, shaving, down here?"

"You're kidding."

No, I'm not. How do I talk her into it? "I want to feel you when I taste you. I want to feel your skin on my tongue when I lick you. You'll like it, I promise, you won't believe how much."

Come on, come on, I can see you thinking about it.

"How do I -?"

"Hm, let's see."

Gotta be a razor around here somewhere. Ah.

"Okay, Spike, I think I got it. Can you go -?"

"I wanna watch."

"No, not this time."

Not this time? As in "˜there will be a next time'? I can unlive with that.

"Right. Was feelin' a bit peckish anyhow. I'll go warm up a cuppa."

"Um, Spike?"

My Red looks right fetching dressed in nothing but a towel. Better than lingerie. And easier to remove.

"Perfect. Luv, you're beautiful, have I told you that today?"


"Nasty me, been remiss. Have to remember to punish me later."


Oh, yeah. My Red. Clever girl.

"Now you're gettin' it."

Mm. Feels so good. Knew she'd like this.

"Oh. Oh, Spike. Spike!"


Tastes sweet.

Like candy.

Almost better than blood.

But it isn't the best part.

This is just the milk.

I want the cream.

So sweet.

So hot.

So good.

Love this.

Love her.


Love the cream.

There you go, give me more.

Better than blood.

"Red, get on top. Sit on me. I want to see you, watch you. Ride me."

I love watching her move. Everything she feels is reflected in her whole body, she doesn't do anything half way.




Riding me. Holding me. Grabbing me. Squeezing me.

So hot.

With her. Under her. In her. Filling her.

So tight.

On me. Around me. Surrounding me.

Want her.

To hold. To kiss. To fuck.

So good.

To love. To cum.

"SPIKE! Oh, oh, oh, SPIKE! Just… just… oh, right… right there!  SPIKE!"

"Cum with me. Cum around me. Let me cum in you. Let me… you…"


So good.


Where is she?

"Red? Where'd you go?"

Please, let her still be here. Where could she have gone? It's three o'clock in the morning, where would she go?


"Vampire, be quiet, I'm sleeping."

"Bob! Bob, have you seen Red? I can't find her. I woke up and she wasn't there. When I went to sleep, she was there with me, I was holding her in my arms and then I woke up and she wasn't there and I'm looking but I can't find her."


I have to find her, where could she have gone?

"Bob, look downstairs. I "˜m going to go make sure the car's still here."

"Red? Come on, Luv, it's too late to play hide and seek."


Okay, car's here. Where is she?



"I'm here. Back here, on the deck."

Where? Thank God. I know I don't believe in you, but thank you anyway.

"What are you doing out here, Pet? I got a little worried."

"I'm fine. I just woke up and thought I'd come out here to think for a while."

"You all right? What were you thinking about?"


Me? Is that good or bad? "What about me?"

"Just… about how you're not like I thought you would be. About how I'm not like I thought I would ever be… how I would ever feel around you. Lots of things."

Oh, is that all?

"You said you were worried. Why were you worried?"

I woke up and you weren't there. And suddenly, I felt lost. For the first time in my unlife, I felt like something was missing. When you weren't beside me, part of me was gone.

"I just don't want any nasties to get you. You seem to have a knack for attracting evil things."

"Heh heh. Like you?"


"Come sit with me."

"You sure? Don't want to be alone with your thoughts or some such?"

"No, I want to be alone with you."

"Me too."

Do we have to go back? Do we have to go home?

This is home.

Home is where my Red is. A perfect world, under the stars, you in my arms.

This is home.

Chapter 24
What Happens Next?

Willow's POV

Snuggling with Spike. Nobody'd believe me if I tried to tell them.

What am I going to tell them?

The truth? My aunt was sick?

They're going to know something's up.

Spike and I… we're different. Different toward each other. And just different. Not the same people we were when we left.

And they're gonna know. They're gonna see.

Would that be so bad?  Would it be so bad if my friends saw me with Spike?

Even if we don't sleep together anymore… and why would he want to, after we're home, he'll have his pick, he won't be stuck with mousy little me anymore… I don't want to think about that.

Even when we aren't sleeping together any more, we're not going to act the same toward each other.

Are we?

Will this matter to Spike when we get home?

Will he even remember this when we get home?

Still, I'll know. I'll remember. And I won't be the same. I won't act the same. I can't, I"˜m not made that way.

But he was worried about me.  When he woke up and couldn't find me, he was worried about me.

That says something, doesn't it?  But what?  I have to know. But how do I ask?



"What's wrong? Can't sleep again?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. I stayed in bed this time and everything."

"I can feel you, Baby. Your heart's racin'. What's wrong?"




"I was thinking about when we go home. What it's going to be like."

"I was thinking about the same thing earlier, when you got up the last time.  You get it straightened out?"

"No. How'd you do?"

"About the same."

"What are we going to be like? How are we going to act around each other? It's not going to be like this, I know, but…"

"Why not?"

"Why not what, Spike?"

"Why won't it be like this?"

"Do… do you want it to be… to be like this?"

"Not if its gonna get you so upset that you're stuttering."

"But… but what if I'm not upset?"

"Let me ask you something first, Baby. If it was like this, if we went back to Sunnydale and we were like we are now, how would your friends feel? What if they didn't want this for you? Because they won't."

"Do you want it to be like this, like we are now? Me, with you. You, with me. Holding me, sleeping with me."

Please don't break my heart, now that I've said it out loud, please don't break my heart into a million pieces.

Keep touching my arm. Keep petting me and making me feel like you want me, like you might love me.

"Red, this has all happened so fast. I know that's clichéd, but its true. Ten days ago, I was at the watcher's apartment and you and Xander were fighting over who was going to be stuck going out on patrol with me, remember?"

I remember. I never thought… never thought about how Spike would feel about that, that it might… we hurt Spike's feelings! We're slime. Xander and Buffy and I are all slime and we deserve to die.

"Don't cry, Baby. I didn't mean to make you cry. It's all right. I don't mind, not really. My ego can take it… usually. I'll survive the whelp's insults, I promise."

"I'm so sorry."

"No, Baby, don't be sorry. I just want you to think about it. We go back, and the next day you're visiting the watcher, and I walk in and kiss you. Because I'll have to kiss you. I won't be able to be around you and not kiss or touch you. What's going to happen when I do? You gonna tell them you're dating the big pile of dust? Cause that's what I'll be two seconds after I touch you."

"They won't, I won't let them."

"I know you won't. But you won't always be there. The second you're gone, your friend Xander is gonna convince himself that I've got you under a thrall and come try to stake my ass. Do I let him? Do I defend myself? How much am I allowed to hurt him before you don't want me anymore?"

"I can't imagine me ever not wanting you, no matter what you do. But you have a point.  I don't know. I don't know what to do. I can't lose you, I just found you."

"I'm not gonna lose you either, Baby. You're my home, I go where you go."

What did he just say?

"What did you just say?"

"You heard me, Red."

"I love you too, Spike."

I said it! I can't believe I said it. But he said it too, sort of. Better actually.

"We don't have to, you know."

"Don't have to what?"

"Go back."

We don't have to go back?

Chapter 25
Chaps, Satin Pillows, Pixie Sticks, Barrettes and a Parachute
(And the Want of A Camera)

Bob's POV

I've lost her.

Not that she was ever mine.

Before I ever got a single jiggle near her today she was walking around in a pair of black leather chaps.
Only black leather chaps.

me sit up and pay attention.

The vampire was already up and paying attention.

She's his now.

That's okay.

I'm a graceful loser.

I'm leaving tomorrow anyway.

I am pleased though. I picked her not only because she was beautiful, but because I could see such potential in her. And she didn't see it.

She does now. She knows who she is, and she's happy with it.

After getting to know her, I don't think she was before.

My redhead is going to be okay.

So, it's the vampire that makes her happy.  You can't have everything.

A pillow fight? Now there's feathers everywhere, looks like fun.

I wish I had a camera. Harry's never going to believe me.

A beautiful redhead wearing only leather chaps and a blonde vampire wearing only a black leather coat are having a pillow fight and I don't have a camera. Or hands.

Sometimes the fates are cruel.

It's about time I got into the foray.

Hm? What do we have left?

Pixie Sticks? Yes.

Duct tape? No.

Barrettes? Yes, yes, Willow doesn't know it yet, but she's going to
love these. I'm glad the vampire thought to introduce her to a little pain. I wasn't going to do it, I didn't think she was ready, but the vampire knows his stuff apparently. Goodie for me!

A parachute? Oh, definitely.

They'll do.

"Oh children, I have a splendid idea"¦"

The Lost Episode 25½
Chaps, Satin Pillows, Pixie Sticks, Barrettes and a Parachute

This chapter was not originally part if the story, but so many people asked for it that I wrote it later.

A Voyeur's POV
Scene: A very nice (read expensive) house near the beach in Big Sur, CA

The only sounds (other than what happens here) come from the crashing of the waves on the beach (and a few lost seagulls, but they'll find their way in a few minutes and be gone as well so they don't really count, forget I said anything about them)

Interior, early evening, say 8:03:26 pm. A library with 12-foot walls and floor to ceiling bookcases. Ivory with hunter green wainscoting. Cherry tables and a desk, black leather swivel desk chair, brass desk lamp, some very nice… also expensive paintings grace the walls, an original and signed J. Boysen photograph hangs over the fireplace. Twin leather high back reading chairs, a burgundy, gold and cream oriental rug that fits almost perfectly in the room, which is 23' x 18'. Only about a foot and a half of the hardwood floor is visible around the edges. A grey fieldstone fireplace is against the north wall and on the west wall, double French windows open onto the deck which overlooks the ocean above the cliff face (53'2" above sea level)

Hey, you guys have proven that your imaginations are failing you tonight so I'm filling in all the details!

Where was I? Oh, yes.

From our vantage point (outside the windows, I wouldn't want to intrude) we see Willow Rosenberg (if her description's necessary, you're on the wrong website) wearing a very chic pair of black leather chaps, and that's all. Under her, no wait, next to, now he's beside her, well, engaged in a pillow fight with our heroine is one William the Bloody (aka Spike - and let's just all stop here and yell "YUM!" -- I didn't hear you, yell louder this time "˜YUM!" thank you… now back to our story) wearing a rather delectable birthday suit… (oh, yeah, and his leather duster.)

They are surrounded by small grey and beige feathers which were previously the filling to the satin rags in lovely gem tones of sapphire, emerald, garnet, gold, amethyst and chartreuse (what color is chartreuse anyway?) that our heroine and her newly-acquired boy toy (vamp toy? fiancé? hmm, there's a thought) are flinging at one another.

The only light in the room comes from a strangely effulgent orange entity that is flitting around the action, and it seems to be hovering for several seconds at a time in the area of Willow's breasts. Its name is Bob, and let me tell you, he's tons of fun. More about him in a sec.

Willow, with an expression of pure joy on her face turns to the light (hereafter referred to as "˜Bob', I told you I'd get back to him) turns to Bob and shouts, "Oi! Bob! I need some Pixie sticks over here!"

As Bob darts momentarily out of the room, Willow grabs Spike's upper arms and positions one leg behind his calf, the better to trip him with. As Spike falls backward, Willow falls on top of him, both laughing. Just when they land, Willow raises a hand and Bob rushes in and tosses her three Pixie Sticks.

"What do you like, Spike? Orange, blue or green?"


"Good, I like orange," she says as she hands him the green one. He uses his teeth to tear the end off of his and then lifts it to pour some into his mouth.

Willow has also torn hers open with the time-honored teeth method, but she refrains from pouring hers just yet. Instead, she pulls back onto her knees and uses her tongue to coat the entire surface of Spike's ::sigh:: gorgeously engorged manhood with saliva.

As he moans his pleasure, Willow up-ends her Pixie Stick over the tip of the above mentioned stunning phallus, coating it in sugary goodness.

As Spike proceeds to finish off his candy, Willow proceeds to finish off Spike. She first licks up all of the excess sugar that has spilled around the base of his loveliness. She takes extra care to remove all of the substance from around his testicles, because - well, really its because sugar-coated Spike balls just taste really good.

She then takes as much of him in her mouth as will fit, savoring the delicious, and I'm sure unique, taste of orange sugar and pre-cum. After coaxing out as much of his juices as she can, she starts again at the base, placing her tongue in the crook where his cock meets his abdomen. With slow, deliberate licks she laps at the sugar and up the entire length of him. She makes sure to repeat her strokes several times so that she doesn't miss a smidgen of the sweet taste. After clearing one area, she moves, getting the perfect vantage point in which to make her next swipe.

Every few laps, another drop of salty goodness appears on the tip and she engulfs the head once again, not letting an iota go to waste.

After Spike has eaten all of his green candy and, in fact, finished off the blue one as well, he slides up so that his head is leaning against one of the green leather chairs. Not being able, even from this vantage point, to get a good glimpse of Willow's mouth and tongue enjoying his swollen cock, he takes a hand-full of Willow's shining mane and holds it out of the way so that he can watch her careful ministrations.

He absentmindedly rubs the strands between his thumb and index finger. The sight of her mouth lapping at him, sucking every bit of essence from him takes him over the edge into explosive ecstasy quicker than he would like.

Willow, knowing a good thing when she has it in her mouth, holds him in place, not letting his convulsions separate her from the object of her desire. She drinks down all of his wonderful emission, relishing the flavours, loving the feel of his orgasm in her mouth.

When she at last rises to meet his gaze, she realizes at once… it's payback time.

Even though he doesn't breathe, he does pant, especially when in the throws of ecstasy. Having difficulty getting the air necessary to talk, he motions to Bob in a sign language, it seems to Willow, that must be reserved for supernatural beings, because, while she didn't understand at all what he was trying to convey, Bob returned immediately, dragging a green silk parachute. It was when Spike nodded and accepted the contribution, that Willow decided on the supernatural sign language thingy.

After he drops the silk, Spike assists Willow in standing and then leans over to unfasten the chaps. Very carefully not to touch her, but very careful to blow on her swelling clit, Spike removes the leather chaps and tosses them aside.

He takes up the parachute once again and drapes it across Willow's shoulders. He pulls it around her body and secures it in place.

Adoring hands skim her body, letting the thin fabric mold itself to her curves.

"Hey, Bob?"

"Yes, Vampire?"

"Where are those barrettes you brought in here a while ago? Are they plastic or metal?"

"Vampire, I *do* have some experience. They're metal, of course."

"Bob, you know I luv ya right, mate? You can visit my crypt any time. Let me have "˜em."

Spike takes two barrettes from Bob's outstretched light. He puts one in his mouth, just to hold it, so that he can use both hands to bend the other just slightly. He checks to make sure it still closes, but with a small gap between the tines. He does the same for the other one and hands them back to Bob.

"Hold these for a sec', mate?"

"Sure thing."

He returns his hands to Willow's body, stroking her through the silk, and coaxes her nipples to hard pebbles. His mouth and tongue suckle the nubs, getting them as erect as possible.

"Luv, remember how much you liked the flogger?" he says as he moves from one breast to the other. "You didn't think you'd like it at first? Then you came all over yourself?"

Willow can only reply with a low moan, partly because of the pleasure, partly because of fear of the unknown.

"Trust me, luv, you'll like this as well."

He holds out a hand and Bob places one modified barrette in his open palm. Willow watches in fascination as Spike opens the clip and secures it on her distended nipple and refastens it securely.

The pressure sent shockwaves through her, some of torment, some of rapture. Rapture won out and she held her breath awaiting its mate.

Before taking the other from his ethereal henchman, Spike pulls Willow to him for a deep, mouth exploring kiss.

Senses reeling, Willow works valiantly at staying upright as Spike attaches the second clip.

The double torturous delight was overwhelming her and her knees gave out. Spike caught her before she hit the ground and lay her gently on a bed of feathers and silk.

He massaged her breasts, being cautious not to dislodge the clasps on each inflamed nipple.

His touch extended down her body, fondling her stomach and hips, stroking her thighs. Her once again took care to mold the material against her skin as he moved his touch into her warm and wet center.

His mouth sucked at her through the silk, he wanted to give her pleasure but he didn't intend to forego tasting her.

He used his lips, tongue and teeth with abandon, making her writhe beneath him. He sucked at her tumescent clit, took nips at her throbbing labia with his teeth, engulfed her entire mound in his mouth as her first orgasm rocked her body.

He had experience with pleasure/pain and knew just when to remove the clips from her pulsing nipples. His touch started her second orgasm.

He pulled the parachute silk up just enough to uncover her core, leaving her upper body, arms and hands still bound.

Turning her on her side, he entered her swiftly, pushing himself into her farthest reaches.

Willow's lower leg was positioned between his legs, the other curved around his waist, pulling him closer, allowing him the greatest access.

Over and over he pounded into her, ravaging her flesh and giving her no relief. Her body exploded anew with every effort.

When he knew she could take no more, she was near to loosing consciousness, Spike finally let himself climax. The chill of his semen was a relief to her used cunt. It was almost as good as an icepack.

As he withdrew, Willow felt an odd sensation between her legs. She looked down in time to see a bright orange light extract itself from her womanly core.

With a smile, she fell into an exhausted but restful slumber.

Chapter 26
Handcuffs and Other Fun Stuff

Willows POV

Never had it this good before. This is so good.

I don't think anybody
ever has had it this good.

How does he do that? I guess I'll never know. I'm not properly equipped.

Want more. Maybe if I turn…

That's better. Just needed to spread the legs a little wider, isn't that always the way?

"Morning, Baby."

I was wondering where he went.

"Mmmorning, Spike."

"Uh, where's Bob?"

"Where do you think he is?"

Don't stand there playing dumb. I'm lying here moaning and wriggling, with the sheets fisted in my hands.

"I'm lying here like a bitch in heat, where do you think Bob is?"

"Oy, Bob, that's my woman you've got there. Don't damage anything. I'm willing to share but there are limits."

Oh, this is heaven. Exquisite heat inside me and the sexiest creature alive standing in the doorway, wearing nothing but faded Levis, looking at me like I'm all he ever wants to eat… ever. Want him so bad, all the time.

But Bob too, this is my last day with him and I'm not stupid.

Look at those eyes. So blue. So intense. So hungry. Watching me. Wanting me.

Thank you, Goddess.

Gonna cum, this is too perfect.

"Spike. Want to see you, Spike. Stay with me. Bob, don't stop. So close."

"I gotcha Red, look at me. Feel him but look at me. Feels good, don't it? Feels different, not like anything else. All for you, Baby."

"Oh, goddess, goddess, oh, oh, oh…"

"Come on, let me see you cum. We're here all for you. Cum for me, Baby. Cum for me and cum for Bob. No, don't close your eyes, look at me. I want to see you when someone else makes you cum. Want to see what it feels like for you. Look at me, cum for me."


"Good! So good! So… so… oh, yes, yes, so… good… good… GOOOOOOOOODD!"

Oh. Wow.

It's hot in here.

"Stop smirking at me, Spike. Get your cute butt in bed with me."

"Mmmm, morning Bob."

"Good morning, Vampire. If you two will excuse me, I'm going to my skull for a nap."

"And you earned it, Bob. I'll take over for a while. I think I can handle her."

"Smart ass."

"Yeah I am, Baby, but you love it, admit it."

No. Not right now anyway. I'd think the smile would give it away without my having to say anything.

"Hey, Pet, look what I found."


"Oooo, handcuffs!"

Is my life great or what?

"Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"Dining room."

The dining room?  What's he going to do with handcuffs in the dining room? Where's the table? Oh, over there.

"Um, Spike? Why's the table over there?"

"Come here."


"Put your arms up, Baby."

Oh, I like, but…

"What if I pull it down?"

"You won't, I tested it."

Of course, why didn't I think of that. Of course he tested it. He wouldn't handcuff me to the chandelier unless he had tested it first.

"Look at you, aren't you a sight? Enough to make my dead heart start beatin' again."

Flattery will get you everywhere.

"Hey! Where are you going?"

"I'll be back."

"You're not going to leave me here?"

"Only for a few minutes. I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?"

"I found a video camera. I'm gonna go get it."

"Oh, no, you're not."

"Stop me."

Chapter 27
Still Handcuffs and A Video Camera

"Spike, I can't."

"Yes you can."

"Not with that thing on."

"Just forget its there, Luv."

"Yeah, right."

"Then close your eyes."

"It won't help."

"You want me to turn it off?"


"Well, I'm not gonna. Now relax."

"You relax!"

"Pet, if I relax, you won't have any fun."

"You know what I mean."

"We could switch."

"Switch what?"

"Switch places. You over here. Me, handcuffed to the chandelier."


"But you gotta promise."

"Promise what?"

"Promise not to turn off the camera."

"I promise."

"That was too quick."


"You promised too quick. Okay, you gotta promise not to turn off the video camera, that video camera over there, the one on the table, pointed at us. You can't move it or touch it in any way."

"I promise."

"Wait, I wasn't finished. You can't magic it or put up any barriers so that it can't film us. You have to promise not to do anything at all to it. You have to promise that when you uncuff me, I'll be able to watch that tape and see everything that's about to happen between us in this room. And I want to be able to see you on it and not just me, no turning invisible. I'm not taping this to see me in the buff, I've seen that before. I want you, in all your glory, doing wicked things to my body, I hope, and I want it recorded on that tape for posterity. Got it?"

"Got it."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise."

"Okay. I'll uncuff… Wait! And you have to further promise that the tape won't self-destruct or in any other way be damaged after I watch it the first time."


"I knew you were up to something, Red."

"Fine, fine, I promise."

"Look me in the eye."

"I promise."

"Say "˜honest injun'."


"It's a very old sacred custom that has to do with body parts falling off if you lie after saying it. Say "˜honest injun'."

"I don't want to."

"Then you stay there."

"Okay. ..hmnun inluninmn.."

"What, Red? I have vampire hearing, and I still didn't catch that."

"Honest Injun! Honest Injun, are you happy?"


"About time. How do I do this?"

"I'll do it. You don't need the key til you take them off."

"Hey. Isn't this nice? My very own vampire handcuffed to a chandelier."

"I'm glad you think so. Come here."

"Give me a minute, I'm just enjoying the view."

Chapter 28
Smile for the Camera

POV: video camera

The unbiased lens points towards the tableau. The camera has no opinion, makes no judgment. It doesn't think, therefore it can't decide what to include and what to edit. It only records that which actually occurs. The tape winds slowly from one spindle to the other, capturing images, single moments in time that when viewed together form moving pictures.

The impartial film only reproduces what it sees. It records the scene before it. A nude young woman with red hair and pale skin rises from the hardwood floor and walks toward a man. The man is also unclothed, his arms held above him, held in place by a set of silver handcuffs that are attached to a pewter chandelier. She walks slowly around him, letting her fingertips reach out and trail against his skin… from his hip to the top swell of his buttocks, around his side and up his chest.

She comes closer and stands on tiptoe to kiss his lips, then takes a step back again and lets her hand trail down across his nipples. His face changes, grimaces in pleasure and then his lips move and he whispers something but she smiles and shakes her head.

The flat of her palm caresses his stomach and her fingers splay wide as she covers his abdomen. His eyes close, his head falls back and a sound comes from his throat so low the microphone from the recorder on the camera almost misses it.

Her other hand joins the first, spanning his middle, then move with fingers pointing straight downward as one explores each of his thighs.  She bends her knees, moving her hands lower, to the backs of his knees and down the back of his lower legs. She falls to her knees and looks up into his sky-blue eyes, a small smile coming to her lips before her tongue reaches out and wipes away a trickle of sweat forming just above them.

The man's eyes close again and his body shutters; he pulls on the handcuffs but they hold fast. The woman draws her hands back up his legs, run across his groin and then north, once more moving across his chest. Her touch moves to his shoulders and she moves behind him, disappearing from the camera's view. The only movements it captures are the sudden backward snap of the man's head, a small hand curling across his nape and the slight stretch of a cock growing larger, seemingly past its endurance.

The camera sees the woman open her mouth and rake her teeth across the man's throat; her hands come around from behind him and her nails scrape four parallel scallops of blood on each side of his chest, from the middle near his heart, down and out, tracing the line of his ribcage.

She is no longer visible at all for a moment and then she reappears, crouching and moving through his now spread legs. His fingers ball into fists as she kneels before him, and the overextended cock disappears into her mouth. A roar rips from his windpipe that the microphone has no trouble picking up. The film records the movement of the glass in the windows as the vibrations from his roar hit them.

The woman stills him, wrapping her arms around his thighs and seizing hold of his backside with a firm grip. She holds him as immobile as she can as her mouth moves quickly over him, taking him deep into her throat and then pulling completely away. The microphone picks up an almost imperceptible sound, a soft resonance like someone humming a love song. The only movement the camera picks up for several minutes is the woman, balancing on her knees, upper body moving rhythmically back and forth, swallowing then releasing him.  The scene changes as his torso first gets rigid then spasms, shaking his entire body.

His face changes so swiftly that even the dispassionate camera almost misses it; where smooth skin and blue eyes had once been, there is now a prominent ridged forehead and golden amber eyes. Sharp fangs have appeared where blunt teeth once were. 

The woman's throat works furiously for a short time and then she stands; takes a step back and then forward again, reaching out to touch the new features. His head falls forward, his face curling into her palm. Teeth come out and sink into the wrist that she offers. The woman moans and almost falls as her knees shake.

The demonic visage evaporates and blue eyes freeze her as his tongue darts out and laps at the trickle of blood sliding down her arm from the puncture wounds on her wrist.

The woman kneels, touches the floor and quickly stands again, placing something small and shiny into his elevated hand. His hands work quickly and he frees himself from his restraints.  As soon as his feet hit flatly on the ground, one hand grabs the woman around the neck pulls her roughly to him and his lips descend to hers, kissing her, devouring her.  Their heads turn as their lips and bodies seem to seek a closeness not possible with the limitations of a physical being.

His hand finds the back of her neck once again and he turns her around, facing away from him, wrapping both arms around her waist as he does. His arms separate, moving to either side of her body, hands traveling up and skirting the edges of her breasts. His arms curl around under her shoulders and his hands rest there for a moment , then move toward each other until they reach her nape, lifting her hair and giving his mouth access to her once again.

As his lips suckle her sensitive skin, one of his hands descends once again until he has her securely around the waist and he lifts her.

He bends them forward slightly and her hand reaches between her thighs to stroke him. He bounces her up a little higher and her hand positions him at her entrance. As her head falls back against his shoulder, he lowers her onto his arousal and her knees bend, her legs curling around behind his.

This position gives her better balance and with the arm still holding her waist he is able to raise and lower her entire body. His cadence is slow at first and then increases in momentum as her cries go from soft moans to screams that reverberate around the room to be bounced around until they reach the microphone in desperate echoes.

As her body reaches a fevered pitch, one of her arms entwines around his head, pulling his lips down to her neck and his demon face resurfaces a split second before he punctures her throat.

Her legs lose their grip and fall forward. His other arm seizes her, not willing to give her any quarter, but her gasps and borrowed breaths tell the demon that she doesn't want any.

Both of their bodies start to shudder at the same moment. His trembling stops before hers does. He continues to drink from her and a rivulet of dark red runs from his mouth, down her neck and across one breast, crossing her body until it loses surface tension at her waist and falls with an almost imperceptible plop onto the shining surface of the waxed wood below them.

A second drop causes a splash and he seems to hear it as he suddenly looks up, the monster's profile vanishing.

He pulls her closer and carefully lowers them both to the floor, his body still curled around hers, her back still encased in his chest. His tongue runs repeatedly over the lacerations until the cuts no longer swell with blood. Her sighs, while very quiet, are just loud enough to be caught on the tape.

Thirty-two minutes later, when the tape runs out and the camera automatically turns off, the man and the woman are still there, pale forms entwined within each other, his body enfolding hers.

Chapter 29
Every Time We Say Goodbye…

Bob's POV

"Has anyone seen my teal bra?"

"It's trash, Red. Got ripped in half."

"Great, just great. I paid thirty-six dollars for that bra. Where's my other shoe?"

"This blue thing?"

"Spike! Those were my only pair of clogs."

"Hey, I'm not the only one around here's been destroyin' stuff. You killed every t-shirt I own "˜cept the one I'm wearin'."

"Oh, yeah? You've got one left? Come here."

"Don't you dare, Red."

They're at it again. I'm going to miss them. I never get to have any fun with Harry. It will be painful having to go back to just reading whatever romance novels I can get my hands on. But I had fun. Most fun I've had in at least four hundred years. I made a wise choice when I picked the redhead. The vampire was just luck.

I think they're going to make it. Won't be easy. He's a vampire, she's the best friend of the Slayer. The Powers must have been smoking something mighty potent when they decided to get those two together.

But I know they were Meant To Be. The Fates had a hand in this, I'm sure. Their souls match. Yes, I know, he doesn't have a soul. Not technically.

But he has more poetry, more passion, more compassion, and more humanity than any souled being I've ever met. And I've been around a
very long time.

Maybe the soul isn't where the body holds such things. Maybe its time our theologians and philosophers started to rethink their theories on the essence of humanity. Of what makes a man, a man. That vampire may be a demon and unsouled, but he's a good man. A decent man. I know he wasn't always. I have my own theories on that.

But he is now, and he'll continue to be. The redhead will keep the demon in line when he gets restless. The demon loves her too, along with the man. And I can say that I brought them together. Whatever greatness they're destined for, I had a hand in it. Of course I did, I always know a good thing when I see it.

Maybe I'll get to be "˜Bob, god of love' yet. Maybe that's what the Powers have in store for me and this was my first test.

Ah, well. Time to say goodbye.


"Mate, when are you gonna start callin' me Spike?"

"Never. It's time for me to leave."

"Bob? You're leaving? But… but… "

"Don't cry, my Willow. We'll see each other again, I'm sure. Harry does let me out occasionally, and I'll come back. Or you could come to see me in Chicago. Harry won't mind."

"I don't know what we'll do without you. You're a part of us. It's almost like we're not a couple, we're a trio. Do you have to go back? Why can't you stay? Can't Harry get along without you? Hasn't he been a wizard for a long time? Does he really need you any more? I'm just starting out with magick, and college has kept me pretty busy, but I'll do more, I'll work harder at my magick if it'll get you to stay. So you can be needed; more than you already are, I mean. I need you. We need you. Please stay."

How does anybody ever tell her "˜no'? She must get her way all the time.

"I'm sorry, Willow, but Harry does need me, more than even he knows. I have to go back."

"What if we never see you again?"

"You mean too much to me, my Willow. You'll see me again, you need not worry about that. I'll even put up with the vampire if I have to, and from the looks of things, I'm going to have to."

She's beautiful when she blushes.

"I'm going to miss you, Bob."

"I'm going to miss you too. Not him though. Him, I'm happy to leave. It will be heaven to get some sleep without the snores from hell in the background."


"Oh, do be quiet, Vampire. Willow, if he ever, you know, don't forget about the… that we made? In the bottle?"

"Yes, Bob, I remember. But I don't think I'll be needing it."

"I don't think you will either, but like I said, just in case."

"Just in case."

"Goodbye, my Willow, until we meet again."

"Until we meet again, Bob."

It's time to go home.

Chapter 30
Where Do We Go From Here?

"Got everything, Luv?"


"All set then?"

"Ready as I'll ever be, I guess."

"What are we going to tell them?"

"The truth."

"The whole truth?"

"No, of course not the whole truth, they'd never believe it. More of a varnished over, we're-only-telling-you-as-much-as-we-think-you-can-handle kind of truth."

"Sounds right. You're gonna do the talkin' then?"

"I suppose I'll have to. You're still the "˜evil undead' to all of them."


"You know what I mean. Maybe I should talk to them by myself, kinda warm them up to the idea."

"I go where you go, Luv. Not gettin' rid of me that quick. Don't worry, I can handle myself."

"Maybe we could wait til tomorrow to tell them. It's gonna be late when we get back."

"We'll be home in a couple of hours. The whelp'll still be watchin' Wheel of Fortune. They'll be waitin' for ya. Can't put it off."

"I know, but Spike, I really think I should see them by myself first. What if Buffy…"

"Red, as soon as they see your neck they're gonna be gunnin' for me whether I'm with you or not. I'd just as soon face the music."

"I know."

"Course, wearin' that halter top's not helpin'. It's like a neon sign saying "˜Go Stake Spike'. Maybe you should change."

"Hey! This is the only top I have left. Besides, I'm not ashamed. To me its more like a sign saying "˜Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah… The sexy master vampire picked me!'"

"That I did, luv, that I did."

"Here goes nothin'."


"Yeah, Spike?"

"I love you. No matter what they say, I love you. Count on it."

"I am."

"That's my girl."

"Giles, hi, where's… oh, she's here and how about… oh hi, Xander."

"Um, Willow? Why are you holding Spike's hand?"


"Buffy, calm down. There's a good explanation."

"There better be or Spike and Mister Pointy are going to see the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"Hey, Slayer! Watch where you're pointin' that thing!"

"Buffy, stop! Leave him alone. He's with me."

"Will? What do you mean exactly when you say "˜he's with me'? It's more of a "˜he drove me to my aunt's house' kind of "˜with me' than a "˜with me' kind of "˜with me', right?"

"No, Xan. HE'S. WITH. ME. In a forever kind of "˜with me'. He's with me. I'm with him."

"Will, are you okay? Did he… did he do something to you? Maybe a thrall kind of thing?"

"See, Red, I'd told you he'd go right for the "˜thrall' excuse."

"I know, Spike. Just… let me handle this, okay?"

"Have a ball. They're all yours. I got your back."

::Ahem:: "Buffy, Xander, Giles: Spike and I, we've been… away. Together. We've been away together. There was a spell. Not a demon or a big bad, Giles, don't worry. But… do you remember a few days ago, everybody was all happy… getting, uh, happy? That was the spell. I'll explain it all another time, that's not important now."

"So you're saying you and Spike are under some kind of spell?"

"No, Giles, we're not under a spell. Spike and I were never under the spell, not really. Everything we did, we did because we wanted to, not because of Bob."


"I'll explain later, just listen. Spike is mine. I'm his. That's it. Final. No discussion. No thrall. Tell me now if you have a problem with it, but let me tell you, if you bring it to an "˜It's him or us' decision, you're going to lose. All of you. Even you, Xander."



"You can't…"

"Hey! Give Red a chance! SHUT. UP!"

"Thank you Spike. One at a time. Giles."

"I… I- I don't know what to say, Willow. Are you sure? Are you sure it isn't some kind of spell or demon or, I don't know, some kind of supernatural accident that's making you do this?"

"Very sure, Giles. I wanted, we both wanted this long before Bob ever came to town. Bob just helped us see it and admit it, that's all."

"If you say so. I trust your judgment, of course."

"Thank you Giles. Buffy?"

"Will? I'm, I'm speechless. You're not going to discuss this? It's just "˜yes' here and now or nothing?"

"That's right. My life is just that - my life. I love you. I love all of you. But I'm not going to not love who I love because you don't approve. I know he's a vampire. I know what he's done. I also know what he's helped us do for the last year and so do you. If you can't…"

"Yes. If he steps one toe out of line, he's dust. I'll be watching him like a hawk, he'd better not even twitch. But yes. For you, yes."

"Oh, Buffy, thank you. Thank you so much. Xander?"



"That's right, no. There's no way, Will. No way you could love that evil, soulless thing. I don't know what he's done to you. I don't know what kind of spell or hex or whatever, but I'm going to find it and I'm going to break it and then he's getting a suntan. No."


"It's all right, Spike. He doesn't have to like it, he doesn't even have to approve. Just like our life is ours, his life is his. He has to decide what's right for him."

"Will, he'll change his mind. I'll talk to him, I'll make him see."

"No. Its all right, Buffy, leave him alone. He made his decision. I can live with that, I have to. But I can't live somewhere where Spike is in danger."

"I can take care of myself, Luv."

"I know you can. And you can take care of me, too. But not here, not now."

"What do you want to do then?"

"You promised me real bagels. I think I'd like some."

The End