Sex101
Chapter Eight
"Never again."
Willow collapsed on her bed and sighed as Buffy laughed and ran over to grab the bags out of Willow's hands.
"Shopping with Anya? You should have known better. Whad'ya get?"
Willow just groaned. Buffy opened the first bag and dumped out a pile of lingerie in a startling variety of styles and colors.
"Oooh, new undies!" She held up a pair of pink leopard-print panties and a matching bra. This was way sexier than the white or pink cotton that Willow normally wore. She sensed that Willow had gone shopping for more than just a few new items; it seemed as if Willow was looking for a new Willow. "This doesn't seem like your style, Will."
"Anya picked out that stuff."
"It's cute. Oz'll love it." She caught herself and corrected, "You know, when he comes back."
Buffy continued to go through the bags, commenting on each and every outfit, not mentioning Oz again. She especially loved a navy blue minidress and asked if she could borrow it.
Willow nodded. She desperately wished she could confide in Buffy and tell her that the new wardrobe was bought on Spike's direction, but she didn't think Buffy would understand. She didn't think anyone would understand. But there was something she could disclose. She desperately needed a confidante for at least some of what had been going on lately. While Anya knew about Spike and the lessons, Willow didn't feel close enough to her to confess her darkest fears.
"Oz isn't coming back." There, she'd said it. For the first time since she'd found his room empty she said what she'd been thinking.
She missed him, more every time she had a disheartening thought about his betrayal, every time she hated herself for hating him for leaving her the way he had. But she had to face reality and the reality was, he was gone. For good.
Buffy put her hand on Willow's shoulder. "He'll be back, Wills. He just needs some time."
"No, I don't think so. You know he sent for the rest of his things - that has to mean something."
"If you're not sure if he's coming back, what are all the new clothes for?"
Now would be the time to tell the truth about Spike, but she just couldn't. Not the whole truth anyway.
"It was something Spike said… a-about my clothes not being sexy enough to keep Oz interested."
Buffy sat beside her and put a consoling arm around her shoulder. "Don't listen to him, Wills. You know how he likes to stir up trouble. You're plenty sexy." She eyed the navy blue minidress once again. "Not that the new clothes aren't great - because I am so borrowing that dress for my next dinner date with Riley." They giggled and together they put all of Willow's new clothes in the closet.
* * * * * * * *
While Willow was shopping, Spike spent time at Giles' apartment. He'd ostensibly stopped in for blood because Giles didn't know that Willow was now his main supplier.
What he really wanted was information. It took him a while to work around to the topic, but once he did, Giles was a font of knowledge.
"It was Veruca, you see - a she-wolf Oz had met. She was a danger to everyone and Oz tried to get her to cage herself during the full moon but she wouldn't agree. He did what he felt he had to, I suppose. In order to keep everyone safe."
Spike poured the man another three fingers of brandy. "But what's this I hear about her going after Willow?"
Giles sipped his brandy and continued. "She wanted Oz, and Willow was in the way of that. How Veruca thought she'd hide the truth from Oz I don't know - he was bound to find out if her plan had worked and she'd killed Willow. Luckily, Oz got there first."
"Then he just left?"
"Yes, he did. It was a few weeks later that he sent for his things. He'd said goodbye to Willow and assured her he would be back one day, but when he had the rest of his things sent to him, well, you can see why we no longer believe he'll be coming back."
But Willow believed - or said she did.
The girl couldn't be that stupid, could she? She couldn't believe that the no-good mongrel would be back for her?
* * * * * * * *
When she turned up for her lesson, he was ready for her.
"Red, we need to talk. That's what today's lesson is - talking."
He handed her a glass of wine and motioned for her to sit.
She sipped her wine and then asked, "Talking about - about sex?"
"That, and other things."
Willow nodded.
"I want to talk about Oz."
Willow steeled her resolve. "What do you want to know?"
"He's not coming back, is he?"
Moments passed and tears fell and Willow shook her head. "No, he's not." She drank her wine and Spike poured her some more.
"Then why are ya doin' all this?"
She shrugged. "I'm not sure. I-I told myself it was for Oz and I really believed that - for a while. But now…" She didn't seem to have any more words.
Spike downed his bourbon. "And now?"
She took a breath. "Now I just think I need it. Need to learn what I did wrong with Oz. Need to… to have someone look at me like, well, like you sometimes look at me." She was blushing now, fueled by either her confession or the wine or both.
"Just lookin' for someone to scratch an itch then?" He didn't sound angry but Willow wanted to make him understand.
"No! No, I - I just - I don't know, okay? I'm still not very good at making love and you could have still taught me what I need to know. And if you liked me a little, then well, all the better because I wouldn't repulse you."
Spike smiled over that. "Red, you couldn't repulse someone if you tried."
She blushed again. She finished her wine and Spike refilled it again for her. "No, I shouldn't-"
"I think you're gonna need it, Pet because I have a confession too."
Willow gulped, audibly. Spike came over and knelt down in front of her and Willow said, "I don't think I'm ready for this."
"Listen, Pet. I've been thinking about you. A lot. And I think you like me to. I think we can be… good for each other."
"Spike-"
"Just hear me out before you shoot me down, all right? I can still give you yer lessons. It can still be everything it was before. Just with a little more… mutual satisfaction."
"I - I can't make love with you. I can't -"
"I'm not talking about making love. I'm not even talking about sex. Not penetration anyway. Just give it some time, think about it. If I do something you like, go with it, just like I taught ya."
"Go with it?"
"Like - like kissing, for instance." He stood and held out a hand for Willow to stand too but all the alcohol made that a little difficult.
"Can I kiss you, Red?"
She nodded at the two Spikes swimming before her eyes.
He leaned in and…
The kiss was exactly what Willow thought it would be. Intense and arousing and it made everything else fade to black.
Oz didn't matter now; nothing else did but the feel of his lips on hers, the feel of him melting into her and the fire building in her belly. His kisses really were fantastic. She'd never felt this before, this sense of urgency that he brought.
He spun her around without breaking the kiss, dropping into the chair himself and pulling her down with him. She was dizzy and not just from the spinning.
She didn't know why she was kissing him back. She kept telling herself that she shouldn't be, but she couldn't make herself stop. She felt like she was floating, lighter than air, the world far below her.
His kisses got more urgent, pulling her, sending her tumbling back down to earth and far under the surface. There was a dark headiness to them now and Willow wished she could bury herself in the warmth. She felt his hands on her back, then on her neck - that place that had made her go oozing into a puddle the other day.
She wondered again how she had never before known about that area; she thought that would be something you just instinctively knew - if you have a place on your own body that reduces you to a quivering mass with just a touch.
She kept waiting for Spike to go too far - to do something that made her uncomfortable or made her feel like a tramp. But he never did. He just kissed her in a way that made the rest of the world go away.
She doesn't know how long they sat there but it was full dark by the time they came up for air.
"See, luv? I don't bite, not if you don't want me too." The smile that followed had a bit of a leer in it and Willow smiled back. "Something tells me you need time to think this all over. Why don't I walk ya back to yer room?"
One Willow, body alive and tingling, would have liked to have seen where they would go from here. But the other Willow, the one that would have to wake up and look at herself in the morning, just nodded.
Spike got his coat and took her hand as he walked her home.
"This doesn't have to stop the lessons, luv. Not going to attack you. Just - will make the lessons a little more practical. Anything you don't want, you say stop and I'll stop."
"I'll - I'll think about it. This was supposed to be a business arrangement."
"So now it's a deal among friends. I've got enough blood to last me quite a while now anyways."
Willow nodded. Spike hadn't pushed or pressed or made her feel like some cheap floozy. He'd kissed her, that was all, and made her feel wonderful. Made her feel like someone out there could care for her again - that her world maybe hadn't ended when Oz left.
They said goodnight with a small kiss and Willow made her way upstairs, mind full of things to mull over.
Spike made his way to the nearest payphone and made a phone call.
All he said before he hung up was, "I got my kiss."