Lessons in Control
Chapter Ten: A Lot More Conversation, Baby, A Little Less Action
"Willow."
"Hmm?" was the sleepy reply.
"Willow."
"I'm up, I'm up," she responded, eyes still closed and snuggling further under the blankets.
Cold fingers pinched her warm skin, making her sit up like a shot. "What?!" She looked around, but the only one in the room was Spike, looking up at her from his warm, comfortable place under the blankets. "You-" a nasty retort started to escape her lips at the same time her brain registered what he had said - Willow. Not Red, pet or Love - Willow. A smile formed on her lips and she changed her statement "- wanted something, master?"
Her eager response fueled his ardor. His headstrong little witch got off on taking orders. He couldn't have wished for a more perfect mate. A woman strong enough to give herself over to someone else's command; and from the fragrance emanating from her, she couldn't be more pleased about it.
"Angel's still asleep. Go wake him up. I'll join you in a little while."
It was on the tip of her tongue to ask how he knew this, but she remembered in time to not ask the question. "Yes, master."
Her voice was a little tremulous, as if she wasn't sure exactly what he expected of her. Spike realized he should have been clearer. She wasn't accustomed to the game yet, she didn't know the rules.
"Willow, kiss me." She did, with fervor. "Sit down for a sec'. When I give you an order, you follow it. Exactly what I say, nothing less, nothing more. You are mine, not Angel's, so you don't take orders from him unless I specifically tell you to, do you understand?" She nodded. "You are also Angel's friend, so I don't expect you to stand like a statue waiting for me to arrive. Just do what you'd normally do with Angel until I get there."
Willow shyly raised her hand, bringing a broad smile to Spike's face. "You don't have to raise your hand, just look at me and I'll give you permission to speak. Besides, this is our bedroom, at least when we're in LA it is. And a slave always has the right to speak to her master within the confines of their bedroom if no one else is around."
She filed this for future reference; it was something she was sure she was going to need to remember later. She still hadn't spoken, so he nodded.
"Um, last time - uh, last time we - that is, both of us" she pointed back and forth from herself to Spike, "were with, um, Angel - uh, we were - you know." She blushed. "And I didn't have the collar on, and I - I don't have it on now, even though we're - you know - with the "Willow' and the 'Yes, master' and that's fine," she rushed to reassure him, "that's good, I can do that - it's just that, um, well, how - I mean what's, um" she kept hoping he'd understand what she was trying to say and break in and answer her like Buffy and Xander always did. They always seemed to figure out what she was too embarrassed to ask and would answer her before she died of humiliation. Spike never seemed to understand what she was trying to say and she always had to come out and say it. She took a deep breath and blew it out.
"WhatsmyrelationshipwithAngelnowthatyouandIaresleepingwithhim?"
"Say again?" He looked confused, but he knew exactly what she had said. She had so much fire and courage in her when it came to doing things, she just needed more confidence when saying them. He didn't want to know what humiliations had brought her to the point where she was afraid to say what she felt, but he knew the only way to help her get past it was to make her say it, and then not laugh or make fun of her feelings like others had obviously done.
"What exactly is my relationship with Angel? I mean, now that you and I have had, um, ~sex~" this last word was whispered, "with him?"
"What do you want it to be?"
"I - I don't know?"
"Do you like him?"
"Yes."
"Are you friends?"
"Yes."
"Do you wanna see him naked?"
She gaped and blushed and didn't answer.
"Willow, tell me."
~"Sometimes."~
"Yeah, me too. Not bad lookin' for an old geezer, is he?"
She laughed, finally relaxing a little.
"Do you love him?" he asked with a smile.
"Um…" she wasn't sure how to answer.
"I meant, do you love him as a friend?"
"Yes."
"Do you love him like you love me?"
"No!"
He hugged her to him and kissed her hair. "I know, pet, it's all right. I was just helping you get it sorted out in your mind. He's your friend, he's our friend - who just happens to like your body almost as much as I do," he said with a chuckle.
"He seemed pretty happy with yours, too," she couldn't help but add.
"Well, I'm a right handsome bloke, aren't I?" he laughed. "Look, do whatever feels right when you're with Angel. Neither one of us will ever force you to do anything you don't want to. He's a friend, he's more than a friend, he's whatever makes you happy. I know who you love. So does he. And I love you - you're my life, my mate. And I love him too, he's my sire. You two are just going to have to figure the rest out on your own."
She nodded from her position against his chest.
"Now go wake him up, and let me sleep for another thirty minutes."
"Yes master."
She closed the door softly on her way out.
Knock, knock.
"Angel? It's Willow. Are you awake?"
She waited a couple of minutes and knocked again. If he didn't answer, she wasn't sure what she should do. Maybe just sit out here in the hall and try again in a little while.
Finally she heard dull thudding steps and the door was wrenched open. "Willow?" came the sleepy voice. "Uh, come on in."
He turned his back and padded back across the room to his bed, leaving her to shut the door. 'Thank the goddess for small favors' she thought when she saw the sweatpants he slept in. Spike always slept in the buff and she didn't know if she could've handled that right now.
"Um, Spike sent me," she said to his retreating back.
He got back into bed and leaned against the headboard. "In your nightgown?"
"Oh! Um, well, he didn't tell me to change and I didn't think… I could go back-" she said before she realized that she couldn't go back, not without waking Spike up and having him see that she disobeyed an order.
"It's fine, really. Come here," he said, pulling the covers back, making a place for her beside him in the bed.
She went over and sat down, leaning against the headboard as he was doing, he pulled the blankets up to cover her.
"You must be cold. I don't really do much about the heat around here, Cordy usually turns it up when she comes in." He noticed her looking around his room, looking at everything, it seemed, but him.
"So - why did Spike want you to come in here?"
"I'm supposed to wake you up."
"Any particular reason?"
"I'm, uh, not sure." She looked at the ceiling before remembering something else and looking at Angel again. "He said he'd be here in a little while. He wants to sleep for a little longer," she said cheerfully, glad at finally thinking of something to say.
"Okay," the vampire said warily. "So, why do I have to be up? And why do you?"
Willow shrugged.
Angel tried again, "What did he say exactly?"
Willow thought, then said, "Something like 'Angel's still asleep. Go wake him up. I'll be there later.' Yup, that's it."
"That's all?"
"Well…"
Now they were getting to it, he thought.
"What else?"
"I asked what I should do while I was here."
Angel couldn't help but smile. "And what did he say?"
"He said I should do what ever I wanted to do."
This was getting better all the time.
"And what do you want to do?" he was suppressing a grin the best he could.
It was like a dam broke. "I don't know, what am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to act? How are you supposed to act? I mean, last time, we were all - with the, well, you know. But are we supposed to do that now? You're not my boyfriend, Spike's my boyfriend, well, more like my husband, really, 'cause it's a forever kind of thing but even husbands aren't always forever, but with Spike it's forever forever, not even in death do we part. And now am I sharing him with you or are you sharing me with him or are we all three together, 'cause you're not moving in with us. I mean, I like you, I even love you, kinda sorta but not in a forever kinda way. And yeah, you're hot and definitely like the sex part, but I'm not the type of girl who can just - with two - well, not all the time. Or maybe I am, because I did, and I plan to again, but didn't Spike say part time? And what am I supposed to do with you when its just me and you, 'cause when Spike's here, he lets me know what I'm supposed to do, but when he's not here are we still friends? Just friends, or more than friends, 'cause now that we've, I mean me and you, we've well, you know what we've done and I'm all confused 'cause I like you and I want to kiss you and I want to touch you, but I don't know what you want to do and will Spike be mad at me if I do? He can't get mad at you, you're his sire, he's not allowed, but I'm just the girlfriend or the wife or the mate or whatever it is that I am and girlfriends or whatever are definitely not supposed to have those kinds of thoughts about her husband's best friend or father or brother or sire and I'm so confused! I mean, I know what humans do about this and what humans think about this and that's not to do anything about this or even think anything about this, but you guys aren't humans, I mean, you're people, kinda sorta, but you don't do and think the way humans do, but I'm not a vampire and I don't know how I'm supposed to act here. Am I supposed to act like a human or am I supposed to act like a vampire, because I'm not, so what do I do?"
She looked at him as if expecting an answer, so he gave her one.
"I want to kiss you, too."
"You do?"
"Yeah." With his hands holding her waist, Angel pulled her down and closer to him and slowly descended to her lips. As he did, his lips were suddenly dry and he slipped his tongue out to moisten them. Willow watched his tongue slide across his bottom lip as if it was in slow motion and felt her chest contract and her breath catch.
Her eyes never left his mouth until she felt his lips capture hers in a kiss that made her forget all her questions.
His mouth opened over hers, his tongue instantly demanding entrance. Willow closed her eyes, wanting to drown in the sensations he was hurling at her. Their tongues played and explored. His hand trailed from her waist to her hip; hers went up his chest and fisted in his hair.
When she needed oxygen, she pulled back a little. She was breathing heavily, so he rested his forehead against hers to let her catch her breath. That's when he saw it. It was so small and flashed so quickly that he almost thought he had imagined it. But this was Willow, the same Willow he had known since she was fifteen. He knew it was real.
"Willow, I love you."
She gasped and he continued, running his hands through her soft auburn hair.
"You're my friend, probably the best friend I've ever had. You saved me - saved my soul. You gave me back the one thing I hadn't appreciated until I lost it. I thought it was a burden, a curse - but it's not. Did I ever thank you for that?"
She shook her head.
He smiled, "I'm sorry, this is long overdue." His index finger tilted her chin up until she was looking into his beautiful brown eyes. "Thank you," he said softly, simply. Then he kissed her again, not deep or lingering this time, but much more powerful emotionally.
"I don't know what we have between us," he continued, "but I'll never try to replace Spike or take you away from him. Or him away from you," he grinned. "We'll have to see what's comfortable. But this," he motioned between the two of them and their position on the bed, "isn't comfortable for you. Not now. I love you - as a friend. As a very good friend. I don't want to lose that."
She tried to interrupt but he stopped her with a finger to her lips. "I remember what you promised me," he smiled, "and I intend to hold you to it. But I don't think we, you and I, should try to push things. Let's save it for Spike, he has this thing about watching. So, just friends, unless Spike's around, okay?"
She let out the breath she hadn't known she was holding. "Very okay. I love you too, Angel." She hugged him just as Spike walked through the door.
"You two get everything sorted out?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
Her smile answered him.
"So, any room in that nice comfy bed for one more?" and he jumped on top of them.
Willow had never been more relaxed in her life. She was on her stomach, lying bonelessly on top of Spike while Angel knelt between their legs, massaging her back. Every few moments he would stop and pepper kisses along her backbone. Spike was running his fingers through her hair and singing.
"We're a happy family
We're a happy family
We're a happy family
Me mom and daddy
Sitting here in Queens
Eating refried beans
We're in all the magazines
Gulpin' down thorazines
We ain't got no friends
Our troubles never end
No Christmas cards to send
Daddy likes men
Daddy's telling lies
Baby's eating flies
Mommy's on pills
Baby's got the chills
I'm friends with the President
I'm friends with the Pope
We're all making a fortune
Selling Daddy's dope"
It wasn't what he was singing (obviously) but the way that he was singing it, in an easy, calm sing-song voice that made her feel like jello. In minutes, she was asleep.
"So, what did you decide?" Spike asked his sire.
"That we're friends - good friends." Angel reached a hand out to pull a lock of red hair through his fingers.
"So no more playing?" Spike asked.
"Oh, we're playing," Angel laughed, "but only when we're all playing. She's not ready for that, and I'm," he sighed, "I'm - if I spend too much time alone playing with her, I can see myself losing my soul." He ran the strand of red through his fingertips once more. "It would be very easy to lose the soul with her."
Spike took several minutes deciding what to think about this information. He knew Angel better than anyone. Well, he knew Angelus better than anyone, and he was getting close to Angel again.
He thought about Willow, all that he knew, thought he knew, all that he had discovered that surprised him, was still surprising him. He ran a fingertip across her forehead and down a soft cheek.
"She does do that. She's so easy to love." He said to Angel. 'And so much easier to fall in love with,' he thought to himself. In a whisper, he said, "The wolf must have been barking - no pun intended."
Angel chuckled anyway. "She's not a vamp, Spike. She loves with her heart, not just her body. We have to be careful."
Spike glared daggers at the other, "Where she's concerned, no one's more careful than me. You think I didn't think about this? Consider every possibility? It's there, Angel. So much inside her, you have no idea. What she wants, and what she only thinks she does, what she needs, what she's capable of. She's the strongest one of the lot and they're too stupid to see it."
"Buffy sees it," Angel felt compelled to add. "She told me - before. She sees it, she's always seen it. It's what drew her to Willow in the first place. And I'll bet Rupert as well."
"Maybe," he conceded, "maybe." He grinned, "If they could only see her now," he laughed and Angel joined him. Nobody would believe it of the shy girl - woman.
The vibration under her caused Willow to stir, "Spike?"
"Yes, Love, I'm here," he answered with a kiss. "You wanna play?"
She smiled, not quite awake yet. "Play what?"
"A new game. C'mere, we'll show ya."
He pulled her up his body until she was straddling his mouth. His lips grabbed her clit and sucked and she moaned and almost lost her balance. Another body came up behind her and took her hands and placed them on the headboard. When she was steady, Angel's hands slid back up her arms and down to cover her breasts.
As Spike's mouth, lips and tongue plundered her from below, Angel's hands and mouth assaulted her from behind.
He kissed and licked her neck as Spike kissed and licked her swollen labia. When the mouth under her entered her, tongue-fucking her without mercy, the fingers from behind her pulled and pinched her hardened nipples.
Cool hands caressed and lifted her bosom as a cool mouth sucked at her eager clit and she came in his mouth when she felt his teeth bite down on her.
Angel's hands pulled at her waist, settling her over the other man's waiting cock, but before he lowered her, Spike's hands coated themselves in her sweet juices and lubricated her other opening.
Her still relaxed body was lowered and filled, making her moan and sigh. Her mate pulled her down to lay on his chest and kissed her senseless as Angel worked the lubrication in slowly, one finger first until she was stretched enough for another one. Spike had said she had never been entered this way before and he wanted to make sure it was as satisfying for her as it would be for him.
Just when he was sure she was stretched enough, three fingers were sliding in and out nicely - Spike caught his eye. "I wanna do it."
'Of course', Angel thought, 'I should have known. What is it with my childe and his need to have everything before his sire?' He looked down at Willow and realized that if she had been his, he would have wanted to be there first, too.
He lay on the bed next to Spike and shifted Willow onto him. As she wrapped her walls around him, he felt an overwhelming urge to slam into her, as fast and as deep as he could. It was like being squeezed by liquid heat, he never wanted to leave her.
He felt Spike position himself behind Willow, so with his velvety seductive voice he asked, "Still want to kiss me, little one?"
Hooded green eyes looked at him as he pulled her lips down to his, kissing her the way he had wanted to earlier. When she let out a throaty purr, Spike held her hips in place and entered her tight and virginal ass. He was overly gentle at first, until he felt her push back against him. "That's my girl," he smiled.
The two vampires set up a rhythm, first taking turns, one going out while the other went in. When Willow was good and stretched, Spike lay down on her back and the rhythm changed. She felt both pull out at the same time and then both enter her together.
All of the blood left her brain and settled below her waist where it was needed to assist every nerve ending she had to endure the exquisite satisfaction of being penetrated in every way possible.
Well, almost.
"Spike, baby, I need you. Do me, baby, please."
She felt his fangs pierce her shoulder and she was in heaven. Angel's tongue found her mouth again and she shattered into a billion pieces, quivering with the ecstasy of it.
The vampires had been feeling not only Willow's heat, but also each other, through the thin layer of tissue separating them inside Willow's body. Spike didn't need Willow's blood to take him over, he was so close already, but the taste of her lust-filled blood made his orgasm a hundred times stronger. Angel, who hadn't had pleasure this intense in way too long, shot his seed into Willow at the same moment she broke. He felt like a cannon, the impact was so powerful.
It took almost a half-hour for all three of them to regain control of their senses and their bodies. Spike pulled out and dropped to the side, pulling Willow with him. Angel lay on his back, staring at the ceiling, Willow's head on his shoulder, Spike curled behind Willow.
"Did anybody else see the goddess?" Willow asked quietly.
Two very tired hands were raised in the air before falling limply back down again.
Willow giggled, "What ever happened to quickies?"
They all broke out in laughter that eased the emotional tension that had permeated the room before snuggling together and falling asleep.