Just A Girl


pairing: implied Buffy/Angel
rating: any age
prompt: #117 Claddagh
summary: Buffy has lots of reasons to leave and no good reason to stay.



She twirled the claddagh ring around on her finger for hours after Angel had – gone – died – been sent to Hell. By her hand.

She'd killed the one true love of her life, but it was the only thing she could do. It was the only way to stop the world from ending. For everyone else. Her world ended the moment she stabbed Angel through the heart.

She'd have done anything to take it back if she could have. Who cared if the world ended as long as she had Angel in her arms once again?

She didn't want to be the Slayer anymore. She didn't want the fate of the world resting on her shoulders. The price she had to pay was too high. She'd lost everything in the span of one day. Her soul mate, her mother - she'd even been kicked out of school. Oh and the police were looking for her too, don't forget that.

How could anyone's life fall apart so quickly? How could one girl make so much difference in the world? It wasn't right. One person shouldn't have to hold the responsibility for all that life.

Well the world would just have to get along without her. She had nothing left in this town, no reason to stay that mattered.

She snuck back into her room and packed a bag before she headed to the bus station. She didn't know where to go but she only had enough money to make it to LA, so that's where she'd go by default. If she had known that life as she knew it was going to end tonight, she'd have saved up for it.

The bus station smelled funny and she was glad the bus was going to leave soon. She didn't know if she could stand having to sit here and watch the world go by. Sitting still with nothing to do was her enemy. As long as she kept moving, as long as she kept her mind occupied on something other than seeing Angel being swept into that vortex, she'd be all right. She wouldn't fall apart or lie down and die like she wanted to.

She boarded the bus as soon as they called it and sat down at a window seat. She'd need something to do and looking at the sights out of the bus window seemed like a good idea at the moment.

She wished she could have had someone to talk to. She wished she could have gone to Willow or her mother or someone - anyone - who might understand. But Willow had sent a message through Xander to kick Angel's ass and her mother had told her not to come home. Not the two best people to confide her sorrows to.

She was alone in the world. Wasn't that the way it was supposed to be for slayers? Wasn't that what Kendra had told her? So she guessed she really was fulfilling her destiny by leaving. Now she really would be alone.

The trees and towns and cars went by but Buffy didn't see any of them. In her mind all she saw was the man she loved being taken from her. She looked at the ring on her finger. It was all she had left of him, all she'd ever have.

The End