Xander's words were still buzzing around in her brain. 'Relish the power while you can.' That's all Spike wanted, just a little bit of power. Not her life, not her death. Just a tiny piece of the respect he once commanded.
When Buffy ran out this time, Spike turned over and rolled out of bed. His fist connected with the solid stone of the crypt wall. He was naked, and tired. Tired of it all. Tired of trying to love someone who didn't love him back.
'This is gettin' old fast. Girl thinks she can run in here, use me, abuse me and throw me away any time she likes?'
Spike wiped off and lifted his jeans, pulling out his pack of Marlboros and his lighter; he grabbed them and headed upstairs. He lit one as he walked out the door and stood outside his crypt, sniffing the wind. He could track her so easily now. Shame and humiliation wafted on the wind in her wake.
But her shame and humiliation were nothing compared to his. He was - or had been - William the fuckin' Bloody, feared by millions for nigh on two hundred years. And chip or no chip, he wasn't a lap dog, wasn't a fuck toy.
He wanted her, lived for her... but this wasn't her. This was only the shell of the girl she had once been. A girl full of life and passion. A girl who cared for her friends and her town; who fought because she believed that what she was doing was right.
What was left now... was nothing like that girl. And there was no way to reach her, no way to bring her back to life in the emotional sense of the word. And if there was a way, she certainly wouldn't allow him to be the one to do it. He had to stop doing this to her, stop doing this to himself. She'd never face whatever she had to, never become whole enough to take care of Niblet and become the Slayer again, if he let her continue to take out her wrath on his face and his body. He had to stop letting her break him over and over again.
He hated her. He hated himself.
He told himself this every time she left and yet, every time she came back, he was her willing slave once again.
He needed to get some of his own back. For himself. For his self-respect. But he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to hurt the woman he loved. And with the chip, he couldn't take it out on anyone else either.
He heard a noise off to his right. It was as he was trying to decipher how best to defend his home from the intruder that he realised he hadn't bothered to get dressed before coming out here. Didn't matter; he could take care of himself just as easily starkers. He was the Big Bad after all.
As long as it wasn't human.
He got her scent right before he saw her.
Willow.
Fragile and innocent and oh so human. Angelus had told he and Dru over and over again that the way to bring down Buffy was to control Willow. Willow was the rock that held them together. She was their strength.
Must be lonely there at the bottom. Being the foundation for that much power. Always having to be the strong one.
Willow stopped in her tracks, not believing her eyes.
Spike, naked. As in, without clothes. Bare as the day he was born. And Wow!
She'd come to ask him to walk her back to the house. She and Xander had gotten separated - because Anya had a sudden attack of needing orgasms NOW - and she thought, since he was awake - it being night and all - that he could walk her home.
But this was just... did I mention WOW?
Spike saw her face, saw her eyes... sparkling green and looking like she'd just walked into a dream... and he saw his chance. A way to get some of his own back.
He didn't say anything, just flung his cigarette away and she watched the play of muscles under skin in that small action. His shoulders made her think of Atlas, strong enough to shoulder the world.
He walked back into his crypt. He left the door open. She saw him in there by the dim moonlight and saw him staring at her, tilting his head in that way that made you think he was seeing more than you wanted him to.
"Come in, Red," he told her as he leaned nonchalantly against the bier. He didn't feel nonchalant, he felt tight as a bow string, but there was no way he'd let her know that.
Just as he'd instructed, she followed him in, eyes never leaving his face.
"Close the door."
It took some force, but she got it closed.
Pale moonlight filtered in and he could see fine, but she couldn't. He needed her to be able to see him. Needed to use all the gifts he'd been born with. He'd have to be quick and smart, yes, but he'd also need to use his looks. He had no worries there.
"There's candles over by the fridge. Come get my lighter and light them, Pet."
He smiled as she did exactly as he had said. He made sure not to touch her at all when he gave her the lighter. Made her long for that tiny connection of skin on skin, wanted her to want it before he gave it to her.
She stumbled a little in the dark on the way to the refrigerator, but she made it and lit the three candles sitting there. Vanilla and jasmine were the scents that hit her and even though she'd never been close enough to know what she'd smelled like, they made her think of Drusilla.
"Light the candles by the window," he said and she did. More jasmine and a hint of rose. Not scents she thought Spike would have picked for himself but if she was right about her hunch, they would be what he was used to.
"Look at me."
She didn't want to. She didn't know what game Spike was playing but making her look at him, as he stood there - with no clothes on - was asking too much.
But this was Spike, the vampire who'd taken care of them all over the summer. The vampire who loved Dawn like his own child, the vampire who patrolled in Buffy's place when she was... gone. The vampire who kept the Hellmouth from becoming a hell on earth until she could bring Buffy back.
The vampire who held her when she cried because the loss of her best friend and the sudden responsibility of a fifteen year old and a house were almost too much for her. The vampire who deserved her attention when he wanted to talk to her.
She was visibly shaking as first her head, then her body turned back in his direction. She tried and tried to think of something to say but nothing came to mind. Spike didn't seem to have any problem with not being dressed, and she didn't feel comfortable commenting on it. She'd just hear him out and then go.
"Take off yer coat."
She did and it slid to the floor behind her.
She couldn't take her eyes off of him.
Who was she kidding? She was mesmerised. She'd always thought he must be pretty fit under that duster, but she had no idea. Shoulders with muscles practically straining to burst out of them. A wide strong chest that looked good enough to eat. Abs that were...oh.my.goddess... perfect. And below that, well, she hadn't really had the courage to take more than a tiny peek below that.
"You're the good one, yeah? The one everyone can count on? The one everyone turns to when they need something? They one who patches everyone up and kisses their boo-boos and makes everything better, yeah?"
She nodded, still too stunned to speak. But here Spike was making conversation with her. Like she was a person, or an equal, or someone worthy of a master vampire's attention. She mentally vowed to try to pay more attention to what he was saying.
"Don'tcha ever get tired o' that?"
"Um, y... uh, som..." Her hands were fidgeting and her tongue was tripping over itself. She stopped trying to talk and just nodded again.
He went to his only chair and sat. He motioned to the floor at his feet and patted his thigh. "Come sit here by me, Pet."
She did. It felt strange, but she went and sat on the floor at Spike's feet and she didn't argue when he leaned her head onto his knee and ran his fingers over her hair.
"Who takes care of you, Luv?"
"What?" She didn't understand the question.
"Who takes care of you? When you're frightened or tired or lonely? When the days are busy and the nights are long? Who takes care of you? Who asks if you're all right? If you need a break? Who makes sure you get enough sleep and don't get too busy to eat? Get enough attention to keep the loneliness at bay? Who does for you, Willow?"
"I do."
He didn't say anything, just continued to stroke her hair and lull her into relaxation. She almost forgot he was naked.
Tears had silently fallen and stopped when she whispered, "I get so tired of being the responsible one. Buffy hates me for bringing her back. And with Giles gone, there's so much to do. I didn't realise how much there was to do. Buffy never wants to patrol and if I don't keep on her, she blows it off. Then there's the house and Dawn and classes and... and Buffy doesn't want to do any of it, Spike. She sleeps or works at the Doublemeat or patrols. But she doesn't seem to kill much these days; hardly any blood or dust in her clothes when I do laundry. It's just too much sometimes. I feel like my brain is full and I want to just stop thinking."
She'd fallen right into his lap, so to speak.
"Maybe I can help with that, yeah?"
Chapter 2
She looked up at him, but he guided her head back down and continued to stroke her hair. It felt so good, felt like she could fall asleep here and sleep - really sleep - for the first time in months.
"When you came in here tonight, were you afraid?"
"No."
"Was I good to you?"
"I... What do you mean?"
"I mean, Red, did you think I was rude or crass? Did you find me offensive?"
She shook her head no, it was a strange question.
"Did you know that since you walked in here tonight, you have done everything I told you to do? You haven't had to make a single decision. You closed the door and took off your coat at my command; you lit the candles and sat by my feet, all because I told you to. You did everything I told you to do, followed my every order, and yet here you sit, relaxed and safe."
"I... I didn't realise I was doing that."
"Maybe because you wanted to. Maybe because you were so content obeying my commands, not having to think, that you just did what came naturally. Think about it, Red. How many times since we've known each other have you sat on the floor at my feet and let me pet you?"
She smiled, "None. But it feels good here. Is that wrong?"
"No, Pet, not wrong. I could give this to you, give it to you whenever you needed it - or I did."
"Give me what?"
"A place to escape. A place to go where you don't have to think, all you have to do is what I tell you."
"A vampire's pet," she whispered.
"Yes, but on mutual terms. You come to me because you want to, Willow. But when you do, you do what I tell you without question."
"Um.. Will, um, will there... hm..." She couldn't think of a way to ask this. "Vampires' pets, doesn't that usually involve, um, sex?"
"Is that a problem, Luv?" he asked with a chuckle. He already knew the answer to that.
Spike stood and walked across the room. He lit another cigarette and smoked it down half way before crushing it out on the bier. He wanted her full attention.
She was having heart palpitations when his hand ran through his hair and then down his neck and on down over his chest. It skimmed over his abs and stopped just short of his now fully erect penis.
"Get on yer knees." It was an order, but in that melt in your mouth voice that would make a nun part her knees. It was a caress, coaxing her where he wanted her to go.
Like he'd been doing since she walked in here.
Too stunned and frightened and turned on to do anything else, she sank to her knees.
He walked over to her, slow and confident like he knew exactly what he was doing and knew her responses in turn.
When he stopped in front of her, she was looking up into his eyes. Clear green that looked like she trusted him. Like she'd follow him blindly, but silently begging not be made a fool of.
"Open your mouth."
She did and he slid his hard cock inside. His eyes glazed over and he practically purred, "Now suck it."
Trembling, she did. She had never done this before, had no idea what she was supposed to be doing, so she just followed his directions; she sucked. Hard.
"FUCK!" he shouted as she took him into her throat and started sucking for all she was worth.
"Touch me."
Her hands came up to whisper across his thighs and his scrotum. She didn't know what to do, didn't know what he expected of her, but she trusted him to tell her if she was doing it wrong. Every moan, every shudder made her practically purr from joy. She, just her, was doing this to him, making him feel this way.
And she was enjoying this too. Liked the way he felt in her mouth, liked the way he held his hands in her hair. Petting her, coaxing her.
"Relax your throat, Pet. Breath through your nose."
She did, and took him in a little deeper. It was hard and she almost choked a couple of times, but for some reason, it was really important that she do this right. That she please him.
Spike was her friend, her enemy. He was so many things in her life when Buffy was gone but none of them included sex. They didn't even include touching.
And this... this didn't really feel like sex.
It felt like giving. It felt like making someone feel good. It felt like saying thank you and you're welcome and I trust you and so many other things that she, they all, should have said but never did.
But most of all, this felt like a safe harbour. Somewhere safe to be free.
Free from her thoughts, free from confusion, free from Buffy's hate and Dawn's indifference. Free to let go because she couldn't do it wrong because Spike was there to tell her what to do.
"God, Red! Fuck! If I knew you could do this - Yeah, like that... Swallow."
She swallowed around him like he'd said. She panicked when he started to pull back, she thought she'd done something wrong.
"Hold still. Let me drive." He pulled back and looked down to see his cock disappearing into her mouth as he pushed and pulled back.
Hair like liquid copper and skin like fresh peaches. Lips like candy.
"Fuck! Swallow! FUUUUUCK! SWALLOW!" She did, and swallowed around him as he shot load after load of creamy white cum down her throat. Another new experience. Another new sensation.
It felt like sex now. She smiled. Then thought about what she'd just done. Not with a man she loved, but with her not quite friend, kind of.
When he blew out a breath and stepped back, her eyes were downcast.
"Look at me."
She turned her eyes up to his and her face was flaming a deep blush and her eyes were heavy with tears.
"You will not feel ashamed of this."
"W-w-will y-you tell?" she asked.
"No. No one," he promised. His fingers ran through her hair. "But you will continue to obey me. I know you liked it, I know you got off on it, I can smell it."
He smiled, he looked so pleased about that and she felt pleased as well.
"Nights I don't come find you by midnight, you will come here, do you understand?"
"Um, n-no. I don't understand."
He held out his hand and helped her to stand.
"Spread your legs."
She did without a thought and he smiled. 'Girl's a natural.'
He put his hand down close enough to almost cup her mound, but not actually touching her.
She had liked the fear, the danger, the not knowing what he was going to do. She had liked having him tell her every move to make and everything to do, not having to do anything that he didn't tell her. He knew all this, could feel it in the air, smell it on her skin. He had to show her how much she liked it.
"I want you and I think you want me too. Need what I can give you, want what I can teach you." The skin near his hand grew hot and damp as he spoke. She was loving this.
"I have chosen you, Willow. To be my pet, my slave, my consort, my concubine, my anything I want you to be. And you will do it. Because I'm telling you to. Because you like being with someone who can take care of you. Because I will give you back more than you can imagine. Besides, you get off on it. And you will get off, Little Red, I promise you that."
He pushed two fingers up inside of her and she came whimpering his name.
When she calmed down, he took his fingers out of her and she watched him lick them clean.
She'd never seen his blue eyes look quite that predatory before. She thought she might come again.
"What are your plans for tomorrow?" he asked, as if they did this every day.
"Um, c-class. And dinner with Buffy and Dawn. And then the Bronze."
He smiled. "After tonight, no more underwear, ever. I want to be able to touch you, to get to you, whenever I need to, do you understand?" He took out some money and handed it to her. "Go get waxed, and I don't mean yer legs. Although-" he handed her more money, "That would probably make life easier too."
He ran a hand through her hair and cupped her cheek and she leaned into his touch. She nodded.
"Let the games begin," he said and it made her shiver.
He went downstairs and changed into his jeans, t-shirt and boots before going back up and walking her home. He didn't say another word to her and when they stopped outside the house on Revello Drive, she turned and looked at him like she expected him to kiss her.
He moved in and pressed himself against her and fingered a lock of shining red hair; he asked, "Do ya want me to kiss ya, Red?"
"Mmmm," she moaned, leaning into his touch once again.
He licked a trail up her sweat-soaked neck and whispered, "This isn't about what you want, it's about what I want. If yer a good girl, they might be the same one day."
Then he walked away, leaving Willow confused and more than a little humiliated. As she scrubbed herself raw in the shower, she wondered again and again why she had let him do that to her. And why she was going to let him do it again.
Spike, for his part, walked away with a smile, thinking, 'That was almost too easy.'
Chapter 3
"Spike!"
Spike rolled his eyes. The call of his demented lady love. And wasn't that déjà vu?
'Gods below, why can't she be more like Willow?'
He didn't get out of bed because he knew that's where she wanted him. She scrambled down the ladder and had her clothes off before he had time to say hello.
"So, the usual?"
His answer was a right cross that broke his nose.
"Did I tell you to talk?" Her hands were rubbing him to hardness and then she climbed on top. She closed her eyes and started riding him.
"Right, the usual," Spike muttered.
His internal clock told him it was about five in the afternoon and if she was having dinner with Willow she wouldn't be staying long. The usual.
He tried to hold himself back, keep a part of himself distant, but she was having none of it. She milked him until he was losing himself in her body. He gave in as he felt her inner walls squeezing around him.
"Fuck... Buffy.................... yeah" as he grabbed her hips and thrust up into her harder, giving her what she wanted. All too soon, Buffy held back her scream as she climaxed and rolled off of him, leaving him still fully aroused.
She was getting dressed.
"Uh, Slayer? Gonna finish this up?"
She gave him a quick glance and said, "I don't have time. I'm supposed to be making dinner. Dawn put in the baked potatoes but I have to grill the chicken." She pulled her turtleneck on and headed back up. She stopped to call out, "We're going to the Bronze later. Come by and we'll finish up after."
And then she was gone.
Spike stood and headed for the shower. The water and the soap relaxed him and he wrapped a fist around his angry red cock to finish himself off. He thought of the magnificent head job Willow had given him last night and pictured his dick disappearing into that mouth once again. As much as his heart kept trying to slip Buffy's face into that picture, his brain wouldn't let it, and he came growling Willow's name.
At the Bronze, Buffy was antsy and Xander kept asking her about it. That was making her more nervous, trying to pretend that she was fine, that everything was fine, that she wasn't waiting for the evil dead thing because she had an itch that needed scratching.
Anya and Dawn were talking about the upcoming wedding. Dawn seemed almost as excited as Anya and so Xander left them to it, dancing with his other two best girls and trying to carry on a conversation when neither of them seemed to want to talk.
He found out what was up with Buffy as soon as Spike arrived. Just as the evil undead placed his beer on the table, Buffy grabbed his arm and told him about a couple of vamps she had seen slip out the back and told him to go with her to find them. That's what was up with her, Xander realised, the need to slay.
That left Willow, who seemed even more nervous now than she had been before.
"It's all right, Wills. Buffy and Fangless will get them."
"You shouldn't call him that, Xan. He's a master vampire."
"Who can't bite me. Relish the power while you can." He was grinning like a schoolboy.
It was then that Willow got it. Why yesterday had happened and what Spike wanted from her.
She was wondering why he'd seemed to want this so much.
And why did she?
But what he said was true. They all seemed to rely on her for so much. And sometimes it just got to be... so tiring. It hadn't been so much the sex yesterday that pushed her buttons, although that had been real nice too, but the not having to think, just being able to feel.
Just follow orders.
Let that sexy accent and those bedroom eyes lead her to a place where she was safe, even though she wasn't in control. Goddess, just to be. Let someone else be the big gun.
It had felt so good just sitting there on the floor and letting Spike pet her.
It was liberating.
She didn't know how long she sat there being introspective girl, but when she blinked, Xan and Anya were on the dance floor and Dawn was excusing herself to go to the ladies room.
Willow stood, wanting to stretch her legs and move a bit. She saw Suki from her Logic class and went to say hello, then wandered up to the balcony, looking out over the throng of gyrating bodies. She liked it up here, in the dark, where no one could see her. She didn't have to be anyone's friend or daughter or tutor or... anything. Just Willow.
"Come here."
His voice surprised her, she hadn't seen him come back in. When she turned, he was sitting on one of the couches with his feet up on a table. Arms were sprawled across the back of the couch and he looked like he owned the place. Heck, it looked like he owned the world.
She took tiny steps, moving in his direction, unsure of what she was supposed to do. When she got closer, she saw that he had a new bruise forming under his eye. The trip to the alley with Buffy must have been rough.
"Only do what I tell you," he reminded her and she relaxed.
"Straddle my lap."
She lifted one leg and placed it on the other side of his legs, then bent at the knees and sat across his lap.
"Reach into my pocket and pull out what you find."
She thought she was getting his cigarettes. Instead, it was a blue velvet box that looked to be brand new.
"Open it."
She did and inside was a two inch wide gold choker with black velvet ribbon woven through it. It was beautiful.
He waited until she was looking into his eyes again before he said, "Give me your neck."
He almost came in his jeans and felt his dead heart beat again when she leaned in and tilted her head to the side without hesitating.
Willow was surprised at how quickly she had decided to do that. It wasn't that she trusted the chip; she'd never believed that the chip would make any difference to Spike if he'd ever truly wanted to hurt someone. It wasn't even that she trusted Spike, although she did, but this request - under other circumstances - was pushing trust a little far.
But when he'd told her to give him her neck, he'd seemed... almost desperate. Like this was the most important thing in the world to him at this moment in time and he might break if she rejected him. And Xander's words were still buzzing around in her brain. 'Relish the power while you can.' That's all Spike wanted, just a little bit of power. Not her life, not her death. Just a tiny piece of the respect he once commanded.
She thought all of this in less than a blink of an eye and offered her neck to him freely. She wanted to be the one that gave him that respect.
He wrapped his arms around her, cupped her bottom and pulled her in to him. He sniffed her hair and the blood beneath the surface of her skin.
"You are mine," he whispered into her ear. "You belong to me, you are my property, my possession. You will give yourself only to me. No one even touches you but me."
Then he morphed and as slowly and softly as he could, sank his fangs into her neck and drank her life's blood. He kept waiting for the twinge of the headache to start, but when she fisted her hands in his t-shirt and whimpered and moaned against his shoulder, he knew he wasn't hurting her. He lifted his mouth long enough to say, "Ride me."
She moved then, ground her center down hard against the bulge in his jeans and let her hands grab onto him. Her hands went under his shirt and she was rocking in his lap and he took slow pulls on her neck until she moaned, "God....Spike.... Ooooooh Goooood," and came.
He licked the wound closed. He sat her back and placed the choker on her neck.
"You don't remove this. Only I may remove it. You may wear a top to cover it if the slayer gets suspicious but you do not remove my collar, do you understand? If anyone gives you a problem, ya leave immediately and come to me."
She nodded again.
"I have to go see to the slayer. Come to me tomorrow at sunset."
She nodded again and he took her hand and helped her rise.
And then, power trip over, and like a good lap dog, he followed the slayer to his crypt and let her take out her frustration with the world on his body. As was becoming the norm, he didn't climax in time and she left him there with a raging hard-on and seven new bruises.
But thoughts of his pet helped him find his release and thoughts of the games he would play with her helped him drift into a contented sleep.
Chapter 4
"Take off yer clothes."
She'd barely made it through the door the next day before his growling command echoed across the crypt.
She turned to do as he commanded as he pushed the door closed.
"Kneel," was the next command and she followed it blindly. She'd decided to do this; to give Spike what he needed and get something she needed in return. For some unexplainable cosmic reason, she trusted Spike. Trusted the loneliness and despair she saw in his eyes. Trusted the man in him that she'd seen over the summer. Trusted the deep need he had for some tiny semblance of control in a world where his free will had been ripped from him.
Trusted him to take care of her and not let her fall.
And goddess, the orgasms! Yeah, those helped too.
Spike wanted to do this right. He was going to train her. Train her to be the perfect pet, the perfect slave, the perfect consort, the perfect concubine, the perfect whore - the perfect woman. His perfect woman.
For his sole use.
He directed her to sit back on her heels and place her hands on her knees.
"Eyes to the floor."
She did it all.
"This is what is expected of you. When you come to me, when I call you, you will strip and take this position. Any commands I give you will be after you have taken your position on the floor. Do you understand?"
"Yes, master."
He wanted to kiss her for that. She understood the role she was to play, understood his role as well.
"Very good, Pet. You will always refer to me as master when we are alone together, do you understand?"
"Yes, master."
"Fuck, baby, you're makin' me hard." He grinned. She was perfect.
He heard the smile in her voice when she answered, "Yes, master," but she didn't raise her eyes.
He went to her and reached a hand down to help her up. He led her to the ladder to the lower level and she waited until he went down before she followed him.
He led her into the bedroom where there were carpets on the floor and she knelt once again into her starting position.
He sat on the bed and watched her.
She got nervous after a few minutes but she didn't look up.
"Look at me."
When she did she almost lost her breath. He was gloriously nude once again, stretched out across the bed and stroking himself at a decadently slow pace.
He was watching her, contemplating what he'd do with her now that he had her here. He'd envisioned all kinds of torture and mind games.
But that's not what he wanted now.
Hell, it was never what he wanted, if he were honest. He wanted... attention. Positive attention. He wanted a woman to look at him, to touch him and not feel disgusted. He wanted some of the tenderness he couldn't show the Slayer because she wouldn't allow it. He wanted a little respect. He wanted a lot of respect.
He'd wanted to take what was most important to the Slayer and corrupt it into something that belonged in the dark with him.
But now? He thought maybe he just wanted Willow.
"Why?" he asked her. "Why me? Answer me honestly, Pet."
She took some time to think about her answer. "I think this could be good for both of us. We're both missing something in our lives and this fills that emptiness. And you, because you offered. Because you've earned my trust, you've earned my respect."
He took all this in with a stoic expression, not letting her see one flash of the elation he was getting at her words. This girl was good for the ego.
He pulled out a few scarves and was secretly pleased at the tingle of fear and excitement he felt from her. Without saying a word, he tied one around her eyes like a blindfold. He helped her up and lay her on the bed. He tied her hands above her head and then to the headboard.
He lay down next to her and just looked at her.
"Let's start with a few rules. In the presence of others, you do not speak unless I ask you a question or I give you permission to answer another's question. Do you understand?"
"Yes, master."
His hand started touching her then, long slow strokes over her body that avoided most of her erogenous zones, but relaxed her, lulling her into feeling so comfortable she almost fell asleep.
"If you ever need to speak to me about something or need something, you may do so freely, in private, never in front of someone else. Unless its something that puts you in danger and then you may tell me immediately."
"Yes, master."
Long slow caresses making her mind and all of her muscles tranquil and satiated continued.
"When we are alone, and having sex, you may say anything you like. I want to hear you, want to know if I'm bringing you pleasure. I encourage you to be very vocal."
"Yes, master." His touch was soothing her and she would have agreed to anything right then.
"Our time together won't always be about sex. Sometimes, like now, it will be about companionship. Comfort. You may tell me, when we're alone, if you need comforting, but you will never deny me access to your body, do you understand?"
"Yes, master."
He kissed her stomach and pulled the covers up then lay down beside her and wrapped his arm around her waist.
"Sleep, Willow."
"Mm, yes, master," she murmured as her relaxed mind and body forgot that it was blindfolded, forgot that it was tied up, forgot everything but the quiet contentment it found at Spike's gentle touch.
When she woke up, Spike was untying her wrists.
"Time to get up, Luv, you'll be late for class."
"What time is it?"
"A little after eight."
"I slept all night here!"
He didn't like that note of trepidation in her voice. He was about to remind her of their arrangement when she threw her arms around him. "I slept! All night! I didn't wake even once and I feel so good! Well, except my shoulders are a little sore. Oh Spike, thank you, I haven't slept through the night in..." It was then that she remembered her role here. She shrank back and knelt on the floor.
"I'm sorry, master."
Spike smiled and held out a hand to help her up.
Wrapping his arms around her, he smiled and said, "Bloody hell, Luv, you are so fuckin' sexy when you do that."
He rubbed his erection against her.
"But it's bedtime for vampires and class time for good little witches. Now off with you so I can get my beauty sleep." He swatted her butt and sent her on her way.
On the way up the ladder she whispered, "You're already beautiful," so quietly that he didn't know if he was supposed to hear it or not.
The day passed as he expected. Peaceful dreams of a beautiful woman in his arms, although, the woman in his dreams wasn't the same one that it had been in the past.
At sundown, he was just coming up the ladder when she appeared. Pissed off expression firmly in place, kiss my ass attitude still the order of the day.
"So, here for a fight or a fuck?"
"Demon. Big, slimy, down by the lake. Willow's been harping at me about it all day. She says I was supposed to kill it last night. Got your ax?"
"Yeah." He put on his duster and went. The demon turned out to be a Droln, which are not only slimy, but explode into foul smelling goo when beheaded.
They took the inevitable ride back to Spike's crypt as the fight had made them both dirty, slimy, in need of a shower - and excessively horny.
Spike's shower solved all their problems. A hookup into a natural spring that fed into the hot water heater Clem had had installed on the lower level.
Clem hated cold showers.
As the soap and water ran down their bodies, for once Buffy didn't complain when Spike grabbed her by the hips and turned her around facing away from him. With a hand on her neck, he bent her over and drove into her from behind. She spread her legs and let him go, letting him hold her in place through three orgasms until he finally came hard and strong inside of her.
Neither of them said a word or made a sound through it all.
She pulled away, turned around and slapped him. "You'll never do that again."
Virtue fluttering, she left.
"You've got that right," he agreed.
At a quarter past midnight, Willow appeared and swiftly stripped and moved into her starting position.
Spike was watching television. "Come here, Pet." She took her place on the floor at his feet. On a big floor pillow he put there for that purpose.
He didn't seem to want to talk, so she sat there relaxing and watching television with him, her head pillowed by his leg. After a little while, although Willow didn't feel cold, Spike felt her cool skin and said, "Forgive me, Pet. I promised to take care of you and here you are freezing. Come here."
He pulled her into his lap and wrapped a blanket around her. Then went back to watching telly.
It was nice here, in Spike's arms. In Spike's lap. In Spike's life. So much calmer than her own.
"Master?"
"Yes, Luv?" he said, looking at her.
"Um, if we're not... I mean if you don't want me to..." He ran a hand down her cheek and waited for her to continue. She curled into his hand, feeling very content.
"I have a Logic test tomorrow, and if we're not going to... may I study?"
He smiled. "Of course." He let her get her book and then pulled her back into his lap. For over an hour she studied and he watched television.
Then, under the blanket, his left hand slid across her thigh. She looked at him, he didn't acknowledge her.
His hand moved between her thighs and nudged her legs further apart. His fingers petted her outer lips and she closed her book and closed her eyes.
He stopped. "Study," he commanded.
She picked up her book and found her page and his fingers moved again, finding her clit, stroking it with a gentle touch. As her natural lubricant coated his hand, he slid two fingers inside her and let his thumb work her responsive clit.
She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation.
"Study," he told her, his hand stopping again.
She was trying so hard to pretend to study but it was getting increasingly difficult.
She finally couldn't help it, she started to move on his hand. The long slow strokes of his fingers inside her, making love to her - that's what it felt like. A cock made of fingers that was entering her and pulling out every sensation from her body. And slow circular motions on her clit that had her panting and wanting to scream and claw and bite.
"Come," he commanded and she did. Back bent and legs shaking and eyes closed and thighs squeezed tight to hold his hand in place.
When she'd finally settled, exhausted, he said, "Sleep."
She did.
He felt the sun setting. It would be another hour or so before he would get to see Red. Get to see her and teach her more of the things he wanted her to learn.
Last night, he'd been too unsettled to teach her. Too busy brooding and unable to concentrate. But he needed her. Needed her softness and her acceptance. Needed to feel like he could still pleasure a woman and have her enjoy it, be grateful for it.
Not a woman. Willow.
Fuck, she tasted like warm lemon tarts and felt like heaven in his hands. Soft skin and giving flesh, without hard muscles underneath to make him forget she was female.
She was everything a woman should be. Soft and warm and willing and obedient and his.
His hands drifted down to start stroking himself, thinking about that incredible sucking feeling when her mouth was wrapped around his dick. He was so lost in it that he didn't even notice the appearance of the slayer.
"Geez, Spike, you're a pig! Don't you ever think about anything besides fucking me?"
One last pull at the image of red hair fisted in his hands as he pumped into her mouth and he came shooting onto his stomach and chest.
He took a breath and grabbed a towel, then stood and grabbed his jeans. When he was dressed, he walked past Buffy saying, "What makes you think I was thinkin' 'bout you?"
She harrumphed. "Spike, you're always thinking about me. Evil, destructive infatuation of the soulless killer. Of course you were thinking about me!"
Spike grabbed his duster and lit a cigarette. "If you say so, Luv." He held the door open for her and let her precede him out into the night.
After the nest of vamps was gone, Spike could smell Buffy's arousal. Slayer always got horny after a fight. He knew what was coming, her insistence they go back to his crypt so she could fuck him and beat him. He was tired of it.
"Okay, let's go, Spike," she said, heading back toward Restfield Cemetery - and his crypt.
"Sorry, Pet, can't tonight, got someone waitin' on me." He turned to head the other way.
"What? You'd rather go play poker with Clem than get naked with me?" She was incredulous.
He shrugged, thinking that after the beatings he'd taken at her hands lately, poker most certainly would be better.
"'S not Clem. And I don't think this bird plays poker." He smiled. "I could teach 'er though."
She laughed. "A girl? You actually want me to believe that you're leaving me for another girl? If this is some lame attempt to make me jealous, it won't work, Spike. No other girl would have you. Besides, you're mine. I know it, you know it, why deny it?"
Spike stopped and turned to look at her. Took a couple of steps toward her and watched a smug smile of satisfaction appear on Buffy's face.
"Yer right, I am yours. I can't help it, I damn sure wish I could. And I will. You kill it a little more every day. But it doesn't matter. Because you're not mine, will never be. And this girl-" he smiled thinking about his claiming bite, "This woman is mine. And I'm not gonna waste my time on you when I can have her."
He turned and left her standing there.
Chapter 5
She was waiting for him in her room. He hadn't told her to come to him earlier and it wasn't yet midnight. If he didn't find her by midnight, then she was supposed to go to him. It was eleven fifteen.
He didn't knock. He walked in, took in the sight of her - someone truly happy to see him - and sat on her bed.
"Come sit with me, Pet."
"Can I tell you something first, master?" She seemed too excited; she could hardly sit still.
"Of course, Luv. What is it?"
She held out her hand and in it was a tiny piece of clear plastic with two wires coming out of either side of it. A tiny blue light blinked in one corner.
His eyes got wide. "When?"
"Just now, when you walked in the door."
"How?"
"Simple teleportation spell. Buffy wouldn't let me before, but..."
Her ran a hand down her hair and across her cheek and as always, she leaned into his touch. "But what?"
"But you're my master. I had to do this for you. You can't protect me if you have the chip, so now you don't anymore."
His eyes closed and he prayed to every diety in thanksgiving.
"Come sit with me." She moved to sit next to him, but he pulled her onto his lap.
"I was going to say this before you gave me your gift, so don't think I'm doin' this out of gratitude. And I am, grateful. Like a bloody ray of sunshine you are." He held her and kissed her hair and she purred like a kitten on his lap.
"I want you to be mine, Red. Willow. Be everything we talked about and then be everything else. We'll be so good together, Red, can't you feel it? I can't say its love, not yet. But its strong and its tying me in knots and I want it more than I want blood."
"I - I don't understand, master."
Spike sighed, "God, I love that. Love how you just give yourself to me. I want that. I want that all the time. I want more than that. I... I've been..."
He had to tell her.
"You know how I'm always beat up lately, bruised?"
She nodded.
"It's the slayer and before ya say anythin', I've been lettin' her do it. Lettin' her hit me. Let her use me and fuck me and work out all her anger on me."
He held her tighter when he felt her start to shake.
"I don't want that anymore, Red. You gave that back to me. Gave me my self respect back. I left her tonight. She wanted me and I told her no. Told her I had someone special waitin' on me and that I wouldn't let my girl down. And I can do it, Luv. But I need you. I need you with me to keep me strong."
"But, but you don't have your chip anymore, you can fight her back now."
Spike sighed and held her close. "I could hit 'er before, Luv. The spell you did, to bring her back, it... I don't know, but the chip doesn't register on her anymore. I've been able to hit her for a while now."
"But you didn't," she whispered.
"No."
"Because you love her."
"I... I don't know. I did. I do. Maybe. But she's killed it, was killing me. Making me grovel at her feet."
"And that's why you needed to be my master."
"Yes."
Willow looked around at the life she thought she had. At the life she shared with a woman who would beat and humiliate a man - vampire - who loved her just because she could. That woman wasn't her friend, wasn't someone she could put her faith in. She was still the slayer and Willow would keep her commitment to help her fight the good fight, but she didn't want to live this lie anymore.
She would talk to Dawn tomorrow. She was at Janice's tonight.
"Master, I think I need somewhere to live."
When Buffy returned from patrol that night, Willow's room was cleared. On the linen-less bed, Buffy found a note.
Buffy,
I know what you did to Spike. I'll be there for research after class tomorrow, but I don't know if I can be friends with someone who would abuse someone like that. I need time to think about it. Either way, I can't live here - with you - anymore. Take care of Dawn, she needs you.
Willow